I am sitting down in my office trying so desperately to work and I cannot just stop crying. it mostly starts when I go over all the pictures of us in my work laptop and I try to comprehend how I am going to move on. I realise I have to move on. its going to be 90 days in a couple of days...yes i keep count...and I cannot stop crying sometimes. I cry. I cry. Yeah well I know it has its benefits, but I need to do some work; even if it is to complete one task! At this point i am thinking of taking out the pictures and videos because I think they are distracting me but then again I am not so sure. I do not want to do something that will make me hate myself more than I sometimes already do for the wrong reasons I am sure but still hate meself nonetheless . Worse still my Joan always said I could get over anything...She was dead wrong! Life sure stinks when you end up with the short end of the stick and you are so mixed up and cannot do a damn thing about it...You think you are making progress and then wham! you are back where you thought you had left! Theatre of vanishing lights...
Damianino so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful wife. It is so early for you and so hard to get through the days. I can see why it is so hard to decide how to handle the pictures on your computer. Is there some way you can store the pictures for now without losing them as they may bring you peace at a later time? Maybe you can print a picture and keep it in a desk drawer or nearby to look at when you want. Just a thought. It may not be right for you.
I know my husband was worried how I would handle my loss and he told everyone to take care of me. But it is so hard as everyone has gone on with their lives. But he did say he thought I would be okay as I think he needed to know I would survive so that he could leave peacefully.
Be easy on yourself. Yes I know the feeling of making progress and then a wave just rears up and smacks you in the face. But know that the tides change and maybe the next day will be better. Peace.
That's what I would do. I would move all the pictures off on to a memory stick and put it in your drawer. When you are ready they will be right there. It is so tough because every little thing has a memory attached. It's a personal landmine.
I still listen to the voicemail messages....7 months out. Technology will be a blessing and a curse all at the same time...but I suspect a blessing eventually.
Yeah I totally agree. Yeas ago you had a few bits and pieces here and there. Today you have an archive in a phone or laptop. A curse initially, but overall a blessing
I recently had to go through all of our pictures to make a cd of ones of him to give to his mother. So many happy memories there. In between the tears I did have some laughs and some happy memories as I looked at our life through pics of friends and events. I do have pictures of him around the house and wouldn't remove them, they make me feel like he is watching over me. I even have the board from the funeral of pictures of him at various times of his life, pic of him with friends and family and pic of him and me. It is near the door to my computer room so I pass it everytime I go in and out or even when I look up. I find it sad but comforting. It is probably getting time to take it down as some of then pic are falling up. What I may do is make a smaller collage of some of them and it that up. The pics on the computer are in their own files so only see them when I want to - except for a couple that are on my desk top along with my son and grandchildren.
HUGS, peace and happy memories.
Oh yeah, its the memories that gets you especially with the pictures to remind you. The ones in the house: not many or mainly the one from the condolence register is looking over us all. That is staying. Others will have to stay somewhere else till I decide what to do with them. Thank you for your support. You guys are it! Shalom!
She is beautiful and the one of the two of you is such a happy picture. No advice I can see why you cry and I don't think you'll get over this but you will make it through it