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I am sitting down in my office trying so desperately to work and I cannot just stop crying.  it mostly starts when I go over all the pictures of us in my work laptop and I try to comprehend how I am going to move on.  I realise I have to move on.  its going to be 90 days in a couple of days...yes i keep count...and I cannot stop crying sometimes. I cry.  I cry.  Yeah well I know it has its benefits, but I need to do some work; even if it is to complete one task!  At this point i am thinking of taking out the pictures and videos because I think they are distracting me but then again I am not so sure.  I do not want to do something that  will make me hate myself more than I sometimes already do for the wrong reasons I am sure but still hate meself nonetheless .  Worse still my Joan always said I could get over anything...She was dead wrong!  Life sure stinks when you end up with the short end of the stick and you are so mixed up and cannot do a damn thing about it...You think you are making progress and then wham! you are back where you thought you had left!  Theatre of vanishing lights...

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Damianino so sorry for your loss.  What a beautiful wife. It is so early for you and so hard to get through the days.  I can see why it is so hard to decide how to handle the pictures on your computer.  Is there some way you can store the pictures for now  without losing them as they may bring you peace at a later time?  Maybe you can print a picture and keep it in a desk drawer or nearby to look at when you want.  Just a thought.  It may not be right for you.

I know my husband was worried how I would handle my loss and he told everyone to take care of me.  But it is so hard as everyone has gone on with their lives.  But he did say he thought I would be okay as I think he needed to know I would survive so that he could leave peacefully.

Be easy on yourself.  Yes I know the feeling of making progress and then a wave just rears up and smacks you in the face.  But know that the tides change and maybe the next day will be better.  Peace.

 

Thanks a million wildflower. I wonder why I did not think of that- makes me wonder if I am loosing it. I will have to shift them to a cd , dvd, and back up in an external hard drive and cloud as well. I cannot risk loosing them. If I do I will hate meself for ever. So sorry for your loss. You are lucky- I hope you do not misunderstand me- your hubby knew he was going and was even trying to ensure you were looked after. My wife asked me if I thought she was going to be ok and I was seriuously positive and told her so and less than a day later she was gone. If anyone had told me she would not come out of the hospital alive I would have laughed at them. To top it off she was my rock. She was as sensible as she was beautiful. She was worth her weight in gold and generous to a fault. Thank you for your support and I will alwasy be appreciative for your kind words. I wish you progress in the never ending journey on grief. Lane. Damianino

That's what I would do.  I would move all the pictures off on to a memory stick and put it in your drawer.  When you are ready they will be right there.  It is so tough because every little thing has a memory attached.  It's a personal landmine.

Dear Smp1122 , you hit the nail on the head -every little thing is a personal landmine! When news of her death broke, her phone kept ringing Non stop. Recently I caught myself calling her number repeatedly listening to the ringing with eerie feeling that she just might pick the phone! Thanks for your advice smp. I will have to demine all the fields around me

I still listen to the voicemail messages....7 months out.  Technology will be a blessing and a curse all at the same time...but I suspect a blessing eventually.

Yeah I totally agree. Yeas ago you had a few bits and pieces here and there.  Today you have an archive in a phone or laptop.  A curse initially, but overall a blessing

Damianino:

Hey man, been there on this one. As far as the pictures go on computer I just don't allow myself to look at them. They are still there, but I've told myself I cannot go there. It's a mind trick I use & for now the bluff is working, (I must have a simple mind) LOL. Then there are the printed photos in frames on my desk. I had to turn every one around that has my wife in the picture.

Hang in there. We are both in the beginning stages of a long, once uncharted journey until we found Widowed Village, and now we have the combined resources of the awesome group/family to help show us the way.

Always here for you.

Take care.

Doug
Yo Doug! Your trick is working aye? I like your spirits...grab a laugh when you can.....fancy you saying you. Have saimple mind cause your mind trick of not looking at the pictures in your computer was working. I managed to pull one in a post when I said that my wife always believed I could get over anything but she was dead wrong!
I have resolved to get them into storage on cds, dvds, and external hard drive and keep them withing easy reach incase my sanity depended on it. Ou are so right; this site is a blessing to us given the combined resources available from all members. We will get there whatever that means. Thanks for your support and comments. I truly appreciate. Damianino!

I recently had to go through all of our pictures to make a cd of ones of him to give to his mother. So many happy memories there. In between the tears I did have some laughs and some happy memories as I looked at our life through pics of friends and events. I do have pictures of him around the house and wouldn't remove them, they make me feel like he is watching over me.  I even have the board from the funeral of pictures of him at various times of his life, pic of him with friends and family and pic of him and me. It is near the door to my computer room so I pass it everytime I go in and out or even when I look up. I find it sad but comforting. It is probably getting time to take it down as some of then pic are falling up. What I may do is make a smaller collage of some of them and it that up. The pics on the computer are in their own files so only see them when I want to - except for a couple that are on my desk top along with my son and grandchildren.

HUGS, peace and happy memories.

Oh yeah, its the memories that gets you especially with the pictures to remind you.  The ones in the house: not many or mainly the one from the condolence register is looking over us all.  That is staying.  Others will have to stay somewhere else till I decide what to do with them.  Thank you for your support.  You guys are it! Shalom!

She is beautiful and the one of the two of you is such a happy picture. No advice I can see why you cry and I don't think you'll get over this but you will make it through it

Thanks for your comments daisy. It has become clear to me that I will indeed never get over her! I need to begin the accept that so that I can make room for her in my trip down grief lane! She was nice as she was as fine and stuck with me despite the tacky treatment from my folks at some point. Of course I gave it back the them! Thanks for your comments again and may I add you?

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