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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

My counselor and husband's cardiologist (I stay connected with him because of his compassion for my husband over the years) identified what I described as "anxiety attacks."

I added time to my morning meditation and bible scripture meditation. That's been life-asserting (such a word?) and life-saving.

A short time later, I ordered a body pillow. It's a little comforting to roll over and hug the pillow in what was my husband's body. Not at all the real thing but comforting. The company even sent me a sympathy card! The pillow was ok but again, not enough. So I kept adding! 

Carrying a brown paper bag with me to breathe in and out of in case of a trigger to my knees and unable to breathe.

Then I ordered a blanket with various photos of my husband all over it. I was starting to feel a little better.

My doc prescribed, for a limited (governmental regs), an anti-anxiety med.

Next, one of my nieces told me to look into weighted or anxiety blankets.

All were working up until, the Arlington National Cemetery service at exactly 6 months. Because of the regulations on the meds, my doc referred me to a psychiatrist - I feel crazy a lot so why not! In any case just last week she prescribed Lexapro for balancing all those neuropeptides in my brain that are likely to ZERO she suspects. I liked that she acknowledged having a father, husband and mother (2 weeks after my husband) die in just 9 months is heavy grief. That made me trust her and so now, yeah, I'm trying the new med.

I bought the blanket, at An email this morning has the code BDay7 for 25% off if interest. The company offers them through Amazon. However, after ordering from Amazon, I ended up working directly with the company. The first weight I ordered wasn't doing it, and they made things SO easy to get the right one, and they managed the entire exchange without hassle.

Do you have anxiety from your loss? How do you manage? I'd love other ideas as now at 7 months, and I know I have to give the new med a month, I would rather not be tied to medication forever!

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Inside, I wish I had some advice.  I just don't know of anything to add.  However, I believe after all you've been through you're doing well.  Through everything you still have the courage to get up and face the world like a hero!  Keep taking care of yourself and keep praying!  

Rainy (Misty) I appreciate you and what you say, always.

EMDR Therapy for trauma ...

Your mental health worker will prescribe a type of therapy, however, you can ask if you are a candidate for it. EMDR was my lifesaver ...

SweetMelissa2007 I will ask both my counselor, and new psychiatrist about EMDR Therapy for trauma. Thank YOU.

Very welcome ...

Anxiety attacks caused by trauma does not heal on its own - PTSD develops if it's not cared for properly. Talk therapy w/a mental health worker can provide relief from pent up emotions & the need talk, however if any trauma exists it's far more beneficial to have it accompanied w/an additional therapy to address it. EMDR is eye movement desensitization & reprossessing therapy w/different approaches such as handheld light devices, an object used by a licensed EMDR therapist similar to what has been demonstrated on TV or in videos to put a person into a sort of hypnotic state. The best part is it does not require meds as well as can help in getting off them. Remember, a medical doctor same as a psychiatrist prescribes meds to ease symptoms while a mental health worker addresses the problem for healing ...

If your counselor is not a licensed EMDR therapist, you can ask about a referral from her/him or your insurance company ...

Blessings ...

It seems you are doing everything right. There is no hurrying grief relief. In my experience, you don't get over it; you learn how to get through it. It's been over five years for me and there will always be some parts of my life that have gone missing.

At "only" seven months, you are still in early stages, even if if feels like a million years. Be more forgiving of yourself and have more patience. That may sound trite, but becoming your own best friend is essential. The meds can be a good thing, if used carefully and temporarily. There are lessons to be learned along the way. Don't race to hurry the process. Things will smooth out for you. Being here on WV with other survivors, sharing your feelings, making positive suggestions, are all healthy signs. 

Hugs and blessings to you.

barbee thanks for the reminder of being more forgiving of myself. I pray for trust, patience and joy to come every day.

Ma_Megabyte I love what you've made your body pillow! I often reach over to Marty's pillow just to rubs my hands all over it. 

Over at I created a sherpa photo blanket with some of the many faces of my husband.  I do the same as you do with it except, on my sofa.

Acupuncture, also ...

Many people complain it's not helpful or they don't feel anything - that's the time when a better practioner needs to be found!

This was very relaxing, relieved anxiety as well as kept me from continually breaking teeth from months of a high stress level ..


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