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I had a person who was in the throes of divorce tell me that MY loss was "beautiful and romantic." My husband was dying of cancer at the time.


I felt sorry for her, and so, she went un-punched.

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I had a "friend" half in the bag call me up on New Years Day.  This person lives in an apartment in a seedy neighborhood, with a party husband, has no job, no kids, no house, doesn't even drive car say to me and has a cat not a dog.  She said "I have been thinking a lot about you lately and I feel guilty because I have so much joy in my life."  I just hung the phone up on her.  My whole world could be turned upside down but I have a beautiful little boy, a home, car, job, parents and inlaws that adore me and a very cute loveable dog.

So many people try to make our grief about them. I hope you dropped your "friend". 

that is so true.  so insensitive and just weird.

She should have just shut her mouth after the first statement.  ("I have been thinking a lot about you lately")  That would have been a kind way to conversation about YOU and how you were doing.  But some people have no conversational skills.

One lady sent me a facebook message when I "friended" her (I joined FB a few months after DH died).  I was glad to hear from her and mentioned again that Tom had died.  A few days she wrote and didn't acknowledge it, just told me all the things she'd been doing, and "we have to get together sometime and catch up."

PS I like that expression "half in the bag"  :)

I know Feline59, that happened to me too a couple of times.  It's sort of like an a everyday natural occurrence. I just cannot believe the insensitivity of others and some being family members!

i had a "friend" and I use that word loosely - never say anything about Justin - even when I posted on the 4 year sadisversary - and most love was coming through which helped me so much and what she posted "did you get a tatoo?"  Really....  So, I have not answered any phone calls, private messages and then the next one she goes "are you upset with me since I sent you instant messages and haven't heard from you."  All about her - as usual....

Well my husband and I adopted our 2 daughters when they were 1 & 3.  It was a kinship adopt case.  My sister and her children have a problem with drugs.  I had allowed them to see the girls until 1 1/2 years before my husband was in the accident.  At that time they tried to kidnap the girls.  We had stopped all contact of any sort then.  They showed up at the hospital right at the same time I was taking my husband off life support.  They wanted to "support and see the girls".  I had given the girls a choice, they could come to the hospital or they could remember daddy playing and having fun with them.  The girls had opted not to come to the hospital.  My sister made that trip for nothing.  I did not allow them in ICU or go to the waiting room to see them (Being with my husband was more important to me).  We still do not have any contact with them at all.  They are "so hurt" because I wouldn't take time to go talk to them.  DUH!!!!!!!!

I think you good choices and should feel good about having done so. 


Best thing you could have done!!!  For you and your girls.

don't know what to say

Good for you BPS..It takes all kinds to make a world and sometimes they are a part of our family...But yes , I woulda done same thing ..Blessings..Norman

During this kind of a stressful, life changing event….it's not about anyone else but you and your loved one.  No contact?  what a blessing!  


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