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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I was told that at least I have enough money.

I told person i would trade that to get husband back after I picked up teeth.

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That comes from talking to reptiles! Lol!

There are venomous vipers that also constrict the life out of people as well as use "charm" ...

It was helpfull when confused or angry to imagine one while identifying what I was talking to; human or reptile ...

The comparison to animals is ridiculous! I just had someone today tell me her dog passed and she knows what I am going through. Sometimes you just have to shake your head. I also had someone compare my loss to her Great Grandmother... that she saw once a year. 

I think people are trying hard to relate? which maybe can be thoughtful but they should really get a quick course in when to shut the f*** up!

Well, I've read all the replies... I lost my husband in May, our cat died two weeks later in June and our dog died in July -- and then my best friend died in Dec.  all in the same year.  

Still in deep grief over the loss of my love of my life.  Worse thing anyone said, and people keep saying:  "Get over it. Be happy. Wouldn't he want you to be happy?"

I'm like, where is the "happy switch" that I can click on?.... And No, it's not "happy" to be a widow.... 

I do understand that losing pets is sad and hard, as it was sad and hard, as pets are family and I certainly loved all our pets  --  but you can go to a shelter and rescue a new dog or cat -- you can't go the shelter pick up a new husband or best friend.   Just saying --- 

That I should kill myself... it came from my moms mouth. I rebelled and married outside of my religion for love. My mom asks I told me that I deserved what happened. 

OMG, that is terrible -- you do not deserve that -- it is just just awful and a reflection on who she is (your mom) not you... 

What? Picked up teeth?  Not sure I even understand that... 

My mother-in-law said "losing a son is worse than losing a husband".  That said, her husband was an alcoholic abusive SOB, and I thought, but didn't say, "Well, that's because your husband was an asshole." While my husband was the love of my life,  a bit different there, I think. Plus, she hadn't visited/spoke to "her son" in years.. and I'm was with him daily...

I was just asked Sun, by a co-worker

"If I like single life"?

I walked away sobbing so hard I was gagging.

Another one that is really bothering me

"How are you doing"?

I just want to reply, how the hell do you think I'm doing

The absolute best one- another co-worker came up to me, looked me straight in the eyes

and said "I GET IT"- later found out he lost his father of the same thing 1 yr ago. yes, he gets it.


I remember the return to work after bereavement leave (a wopping 3 days) and had the same thing happen to me. You know, I got the rock star treatment where everyone all 104 employees had to ask the same question "how are you doing" and of course I replied not bad because that's what everyone wants is for you to be better. Then my best friend came around and asked me the same question and without missing a beat, my filter was off my mouth and I was none the wiser, and I replied "do you want the same line of shit I gave the rest of the office or do you want the truth" ? I couldn't believe I blurted that out right in the middle of the office. My friend smiled and said it's lunch time let's get out of here and you can tell me the truth.

They are still asking, I reply, :"just fricken wonderful" and walk on.

I'm not this kind of person, but we do, what we have to do.

Glad you have a friend that understands. I cherish mine.

One of the worst things someone said was my doctor!  When I went to him for medication, he said, "It will take about 6 months!"  Oh, really???

Two days after my wife died a friend since I have known from 6th grade said " Well now you can start living it up and go on vacations" How do you respond to that?


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