While out shopping, tears were running down my face when a seemingly concerned woman approached asking if I was okay. We talked for a short while before she asked about my weeping. When I told her my husband had been killed by a roadrage rage driver, she said that poor guy is going to remember it for the rest of his life, then walked away ...
I'm sure he remembers how he got away with murder by receiving 18 months probation for careless driving as a result of his high priced attorney & the deputy DA striking a deal to keep Witnesses from taking the stand to testify against him ...
first, so sorry for your loss, and second, 18 months probation is nothing compared to what you are going through -- f- them!
Soon after my wife Susan (35 years) died, I had a person tell me they knew exactly how I felt as they had just lost their dog.
I was shocked, comparing the loss of a wife to that of a dog? I said " lost my wife." He said yes, I know, I lost my dog.
Instead of escalating the conversation, I just turned and walked away.
I can't count how many times I've heard that about a dog, or a cat. Even a grandparent I almost, sort of get..not that someone's 87 year old grandfathers death was the same as my 48 year old husband..but at least it isn't an animal. (And yes, I love my dog.)
My mom told me that I should consider “killing myself” because she didn’t want to help pick up the kids from school.
I'm at a loss for words. Thats rare for me.
Jeepers! I thought I heard it all. -- can't believe it -- but still, um , if you did kill yourself, who would pick up the kids from school? I think that would grandma's job ..... right? Hang in there, people can be awful.
She doesn’t work ananda yes, she can pick up the kids but she doesn’t want to because it’s an inconvenience to her. My mom has been selfish all her life.
Many moons ago in Griefshare, the moderator told a story of she & other widows hating on the priest of the church sharing his personal insights as well as religious proverbs. She came to learn later in her grief, if she had not had him to burn up her anger & aggression, she would have found someone else. It was effective in releasing toxins as well as a distraction, however, she had to work through guilt to forgive herself in trashing a person who only tried to help. With those who have said hurtful words, its your call in how to work through the pain to letting go ...
this was a message I was sent from someone I use to work with years ago, 2 weeks after my husbands sudden death - [yes things will be sad but you need to face reality and just deal with it. Yes you have time to be just alone and think. Remember that doesn’t mean more crying. Sometimes it’s ok.] - needless to say I didn’t bother replying back, sme people just have no idea and I’m sure if they were in the same situation it would be a different story!
“Just deal with it”? That actually sounds a little mean, let alone insensitive. Then you should think about it and not cry? I think that person needs a reality check. Totally clueless, unworthy of a response. Even a bit bizarre, I can’t imagine anyone saying something like that.