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I had a person who was in the throes of divorce tell me that MY loss was "beautiful and romantic." My husband was dying of cancer at the time.


I felt sorry for her, and so, she went un-punched.

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A relative who called last night told me, you need to change your message on your answering machine. It has my husbands voice. It's only been 6 weeks since he died!! I said no, I like to hear his voice. I could tell the relative was puzzled:) but then he has never married.

I have a friend who died 2 years ago and it was lovely to hear her voice on her husbands answering machine. 

As long as it doesn’t cause pain, leave it. I have my grandson put one on mine— don’t find it necessary to advertise “ Woman Alone”.  Just being aware of my situation!

My husband died Sept 2014.  The following Christmas so just after the 1 year mark, I called my brother in law. They live across the country from me in my husbands hometown.  I said how are you doing, he said, "We're all missing Gary but I know you can't understand that!"  I have never spoken to him again.

OMG! I’m glad you were able to cut them out of your life. Man, my in-laws are driving me crazy, but the worse has only been from the brother who told me I need to give his parents a break because they were suffering just as much as me maybe even more so because they did know him longer.  I never said I thought I was suffering more (though I thought it).  It just irked me he would say that. 

I wonder...could that have been sarcasm?  

Two weeks ago someone asked me what happened the night Jerry died.  I proceeded to tell him about doing CPR on him.  Mind you there were three of us doing CPR and Jerry's daughter is an ACLS certified RN, who by the way works in an ICU unit.  This fool proceeds to tell me we probably didn't do CPR correctly.  

God bless the ignorant! 

CPR doesn’t work on everybody. My husband had a massive heart attack—it depends on what was wrong. Not everything is survivable, but it does save some lives. Yes, there are ignorant people. That person showed ignorance on two counts.

Yes Callie, in Jerry's case CPR would never have saved him.  The coroner even told us with the amount of plaque in all of his arteries, even being in the hospital wouldn't have saved Jerry.  

I am sorry that someone was so callous and ignorant.  I am sure some small part of his brain was telling him to shut up, even as he blabbered on.  (Wish he had listened to it!) You did not deserve to hear the drivel that came out of his mouth. Obviously, you tried hard to save your husband and had a lot of well qualified people helping you, too. It was simply not possible, and I am so sorry about what you went through that horrible night.  

These dumb comments come from a sincere fear of death. Most can avoid thinking about it most of the time, but when confronted, panic and say the stupidest things imaginable.  This site is where we post them and laugh derisively, because we know better.  Then we can toss them into the trash can where they belong. We're with you in strength...


I called those people "A" holes & occassionally still do just 'cuz ...

If its any consolation, I asked if CPR had been performed on Bob him following his massive cardiac arrest even though I had already been informed he was brain dead before his heart shut down. The wonders of shock - I'm sure someone laughed at me but whatever - I still had to run my course of anger to get it out ...


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