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What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
I had a person who was in the throes of divorce tell me that MY loss was "beautiful and romantic." My husband was dying of cancer at the time.
I felt sorry for her, and so, she went un-punched.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jerry on
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I know you may not believe this, but most people have no idea how much it hurts to lose the person your where in a relationship with. It sure is different then losing a parent,especially if you didn't live with them any longer. She probably just was concerned about you. I guess you could have said your not feeling any better and it would have ended at that. Even though she was his sister,it is not the same kind of love as you had,so she doesn't understand how you feel.
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Permalink Reply by Nurseman on -
It was my mother. Four months after Nicole died she told me to suck it up and move on. Illustrates why we're not close ;-)
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Permalink Reply by onmyown on -
Nurseman, so sorry! Hope you have found support here and are doing well.
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Permalink Reply by colimachia -
The weekend after my husband's service a lady at church asked me why we never had kids in the 15 years we had been married. As if losing my husband alone was not painful enough.
Last week (6 weeks after his passing) a lady at work who I consider a friend asked me when I am going to get out of this funk?
There actually have been a lot more but I've ignored most of them
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Permalink Reply by Gordy's widow -
Get out of this funk WOW that is as good as the gal that told me I was a lucky girl.... how stupid
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Permalink Reply by Grammie59 -
Today as I was checking my mail, a neighbor saw my photo of my husband that I have taped on the underside of the seat on my walker. She asks me who he is, I said my husband. She shivered as though sh was horrified at the thought that I taped his photo there. I said I loce to see his face as I'm walking- she told me I will never heal from this & I need to stop it and move on. I was inconsolable for about an hour. The bitter fools that walk this planet are earning some heavy negative karma. What goes around comes around! I'll be better prepared for the other fools that want to judge me.
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Permalink Reply by KayCeeMom -
I've been very lucky to not encounter too many people like this. However, I have decided what to tell the next busybody who has such "good" advice for me... "Tell you what, when you've suffered the loss of a spouse - not a parent, not a friend, I'll consider your advice."
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Permalink Reply by Gordy's widow
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GOOD ONE have to write this down....
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Permalink Reply by Gordy's widow
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OMG how rude I would have said well, maybe you don't want to look at his face SO DON"T I look at Gordy everyday and write to him in my journal..... maybe this person had a horrible marriage.... or relationship and wouldn't want to look at her spouse.... but the stupid just keeps flowing out of their mouths doesn't it!
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Permalink Reply by MyNewLife (Melody) -
Wow, I would have been devastated too and then pissed. Who is she to tell you that you'll never get over this and to move on? A neighbor? It's none of her business. I think I would have responded with silence just looking at her like she had two heads and then walked away. I've done this on the phone recently. Someone will say something dumb and I go quiet and say I have to go. I don't deal well with insensitive people anymore and I don't have to. None of us do. I grew up in the generation where if the phone rang, someone HAD to answer it. Not anymore. Same thing for doorbells, or thinking I have to stand there and listen. Nope. I just walk away now. Rude remarks don't need a response. Our grief is OUR grief to handle each in our OWN way. Sheesh.
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