He's an "angel" now. Well, I searched the Bible and other literature, and there is no indication that we become "angels" after death.
Please accept my genuine condolences for your loss.
Well-said Callie. I'm more than 3 years along in my journey and I've learned that many people don't know what to say. As a result, some say the wrong things. My own mom started comparing my loss to my brother's loss (he died nearly 3 decades ago) and, in the beginning, started talking about what she went through and her depression. At one point I was sobbing and asked her to please stop. I told her that I would never dare compare the loss of a child or any loss to mine. I explained that it was not a contest and that both circumstances were terrible but that I simply could not grieve for my husband and relive the experience of my only brother's death because I was at the breaking point and I simply could not handle it. She said other inappropriate things, which I've mentioned in the past and choose to leave there. She simply did not know how to "fix" her grieving daughter and I helped her understand that this was not something she could "fix" but something that I had to work through myself.
You also hit the nail on the head about how people handle grief differently and how some prefer solitude while others prefer to be with other people. There were (sometimes still are) days when I didn't want to be around anyone or speak with anyone. Other times, I am fine being with friends/family. It depends on the mood/day/moment.
People can truly say and do the stupidest things, I had a cousin of my late husband stop by 3 weeks after he (my husband) died and give his condolences and then proceed to ask me out on a date. Seriously??? Well I chalked it up to him having a great ability to multitask lol. I kept thinking, goodness I lost a husband of 34 years, I didn't just break up with my boyfriend.
A person learns lots of things about people when all is said and done.
when things get difficult then you see the true side of people.
Agreed, for me the biggest thing is some of the male friends, family that were my husbands. Not sure how to understand how the male brain works, it's like most of them go from being our friends to just wanting to jump your bones. Sorry if I sound sarcastic, but it really does seem that way. It really puts a lot of things into a different perspective when dealing with neighbors and so called friends.
Yes that is just so yuk. And the creeps who will call after midnight thinking that making these offerings is appropriate. The life long friends.. fortunately one can block them on your cell phone. I changed my number and I moved. I only gave my new address to people once they were on their way. Then I moved again to a temporary location. Hearing comments like, " hey you've still got it in you" huh? You're right. I don't know how these weirdos are wired.
I know this is an older post, but soon after Gil died, his sister called a few days later and asked what happened to all of his money. I was like what money? With him being ill and not being able to work, the proceeds that he got from selling the family home went into bills. Little did I know that this sister and his son's mother were still in touch with each other. Three months later, I got a call from his son's mother asking did Gil die a dog? I was like huh? Then she proceeded to tell me that how good friends they were and that he had loaned her his car when we were married and that nothing happened between the two of them. I was again like huh? My husband was a very generous man. Little did she know that he loaned that same car to his male friend while his car was in the shop. My niece got her car repossessed, and he offered to let her use the car. It was basically his nature to want to help people out.
I'm just thankful, that I no longer have to deal with his side of the family. My family wasn't much better.