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my wife passed awyay about ,about!!,no sorry exactly 9 weeks ago , one of her last request in fact vicki all ways said dont put me in a box in the ground ,I want to be cremated and then bought home so i can look over you all for a while, But we never really got around to talk about how long or what to do with her ashes in the end. The time is quickly approaching when we need to go and collect her ashes from the creamtorium and i dont know how i will handle that or what to do with them when i get them home. Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.
Hi Sprudrat: My husband was a vet and it was his choice to be buried in a national cemetery, so that was one decision I didn't have to make. Here is a link to a discussion on here about ashes, maybe it will be helpful to you. http://widowedvillage.org/forum/topics/asheswhat-to-do-with-them?co...
You don't mention whether the ashes on in an urn. If you haven't picked one out, have the the funeral home put the ashes into an urn- they have many tasteful and beautiful designs. Urns can also be engraved with the name, dates or more. It seems your wife wanted you to keep the urn at home. Find a shelf or a mantel where you can place the urn. Many people do this.
Spudrat, My husbands ashes are in the back seat of his truck which I drive everyday. My fathers ashes are there also now. My husbands original plan was for me to load some ashes into bulletts and be shot off on opening day for deer season. I have not been able to do that yet but I did spread some around the land he hunted. My Mothers ashes were divided between my brothers and me and at her request to be mixed in with the soil of yellow rose bushes that we were to plant in her honor. I like the rose idea the best, but thats just me.
It's such a personal decision so there's certainly no "one size fits all" answer. I think we each have to do what is most meaningful to us, whatever that may be. My husband died not quite two months ago and we had most of his ashes go out on a Navy ship, to be scattered at sea with full military honors. He had spent one entire career as a Navy Officer and it just seemed appropriate. We kept some, however, as there were two other places that we also wanted to put them. One is in our little home town where our first daughter, his parents and my mother are buried and where we both grew up, met and married. The other is in the gardens surrounding the home I now live in and that I shared with my husband for so many years. We had both so enjoyed doing the landscaping and gardening and it had been a true "labor of love" so it now seems like a very fitting "memorial" to him. Just choose something that has real meaning for you and you will be fine. Wishing you all the best. L.
What places did Vicki love? I have taken my Husbands ashes to two casinos, one golf course and soon to the beach. That's what I would do. I would like that for myself also.
I bought a nice urn and my husband sits on my night stand and has for a year now. I plan for him to be with me until my time comes then we will be mixed together and released. I know that's not for everyone but that's what we wanted. I also feel great comfort with him here with me..................Lisa
My husband was cremated per his wishes, but left no plan for the ashes. I have taken them to the family cottage, left them in lakes we swam and sailed in, took them to the ocean and left them in a favorite snorkeling spot, have 2 small urns for my children, and the rest sit on his dresser in a ceramic pot I threw. Still thinking about those, may have them eventually joined with mine some day, and left in nearby memorial gardens. I would like a specific spot for my kids and grandkids to go and remember us both by, but am not quite sure of that yet, so just taking time and leaving them sit in the bedroom. The pot now has several of his hats perched on it, I have gotten used to it being there. Just because you collect them from the crematorium does not mean you have to do something with them immediately. It's been 2+ years for me, I just felt it was one decision i could put off for awhile.
Lisa (lost) Lamb that is exactly what I am doing with my Honeys ashes. He will be in a clock urn on the mantle till I die and am cremated then we will be mixed together and taken to our favorite seaside retreat and spread there. I can't wait till we are together again:)