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My wife of 19-years passed away from an incurable disease 2/12/2014.  The week after the funeral, I enlisted the help of my sister-in-law to go through 3-boxes of her books and some clothes.  What a mistake that was!  Books - no problem, take them all.  Clothes - Man did that rip right through me; and it was my idea!  How stupid can I get?  Guess I didn't learn my lesson since I'm posting it for all to see. You're thoughts?

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Doug, I would contact your local Council on Aging, I bet they know someone who could use it.


Great idea, I hadn't thought of that.

Next time we get rained out of the fields I will definitely be looking into this.

From time to time I come across something belonging to Ray, clothes, shoes, bits and pieces that I am never going to use.  Each time it is a hard decision to make to get rid of it and this is after five years.  I still have a lot of boxes to go through from where they have been stored and not reviewed in a while so I guess that is an ongoing problem. The hardest things to part with are the birthday presents he never opened as he died eleven days after his 70th birthday.  I find them a poignant reminder that by then he was really beyond caring about life.  I miss him still.

Well I finally got rid of Frank's favorite..................................knife!! Just a butter knife but he liked it because it had a big handle. He did not like dainty flatware. I have been carrying it around out of habit but now I have all silver flatware (big no-no before, it bothered his teeth). So I finally donated it to the kitchen at the food shelf where I volunteer and will be happy knowing it is there.

Still have his bathrobe (mine now), sweatshirt (too stained to donate, too good to throw out, I use it sometimes) and a hand knit hat he got during chemo and used to wear a lot. I don't think I will ever get rid of it.

Dear Doug,

I think we hope that if we get the "stuff" out of sight, it will help us not to remember the things that bring so much pain. The first thing I packed up was all Tom's shoes. I certainly couldn't wear them, and just felt them unnecessary. I have passed them on to some less fortunate members of his family. I kept his dress shirts, but they are packed away. His daughter wanted his T shirts. They all were screen prints of different places we went and events we attended. She made them into a quilt and used many of his jeans for another quilt, and Christmas stockings. She did a great job. I might use his shirts for a quilt, but I am not ready to start yet. I loved my husband so much, but feel I must move on. He is gone, and I am here. I do have several beautiful photos of us in our living room.

I am in the process of cleaning up his garage, too. What an achievement! He had a lot of tools and supplies. I plan to have a sale in the spring.

Good luck!



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