I took mine off way before I started to date -- but I tend to get very long-lasting tans -- so I took mine off around the first anniversary, at the beginning of summer.... I figured that when I tan, it lasts till October, and by October, I'd probably be ready to date. Didn't want anyone to think I was cheating (or "on travel," as they say!).
Turns out my timing was nearly perfect....
I took mine off about a year or so ago. They don't stay off. I miss wearing them and the design and meaning etc. I see wedding bands on others and I realize what I don't have but do have. If that makes sense. Donna went into the hospital 7/10/11 and died in hospice 08/07/2011. I have put the rings on as my way of remembering though I never forget.
"On day arm and arm
We left home and and closed the door
You never returned"
I wore mine for several months after my wife died then I sent both of them to a jeweler in Upstate NY and had them melted down and had one ring made, a Claddagh.
I've been widowed for 3 months. I removed my wedding ring for a day last week, jut to see how I felt. It felt so strange and detached from having been married for 35 years. i also wasn't ready to give single- or married- men the wrong impression.
I've got it back on and feel protected again. I will probably take it off after one year, but who knows.
I believe I answered this already - that I removed my ring shortly after Ed died.
Recently my sister and I were going through my mother's jewelry (she died in March) and we came across a ring she had made! Silver and unmistakedly an S shape! We looked at each other, I popped it on my finger where it fit perfectly, and now I wear that ring. I have missed wearing a ring so this is just so perfect.
Wonderful ideas....I have 3 of Bill's wedding bands....and 3 of my rings...have no idea what I can make our of all of this....been thinking of it off and on doe almost 7 years...(:
I have answered this earlier, but here is an update: I have been widowed 4 1/2 years now. My own wedding ring became uncomfortably tight, but I did not feel comfortable with no ring. Solution: I have been wearing my husband's wedding ring on my middle finger for 4 years. It feels like a good way to acknowledge our connection and my widowed status, even if I'm the only one who knows. I find that even with it not on my ring finger, it seems to project the "I'm unavailable" vibe I was looking for. I doubt I'll ever take it off. This is such an individual decision, and I think anyone reading this should feel comfortable doing whatever feels right!
I totally agree, Hope. It's such an individual decision for any of us going through this and whatever any of us decide to do....should feel comfortable for us and we should know we are doing the right thing for us. My husband died close to three months ago and I wear his ring behind my wedding ring on my ring finger. This feels right for me. When and if that changes in the future....we'll see.
I am at 6 1/2 years and still not sure of what to do with our rings...I don't think there is anything I can do with Bill's to wear them....but mine are different....I put a very pretty and delicate wedding band on the other day that looks so pretty...it's all small diamond chips in a white gold band that points into a V in the center...so fragile.....I looked and looked at my engagement ring...and am thing either a pendant with just the center diamond or the small chips around it ....or what I would really like is the center diamond alone in a pendant...with the chips made into a pair of earrings.....I'm going to take it to a jeweler in my neighborhood who only has one of a kind jewelry...and see what he says is possible..finally a thought at least...couldn;t get there all these years...
I still wear mine, 17 months out. I still feel as though I'm married and I don't know if I could remove them and still feel okay. I think if I would have passed away before my husband, he would wear his until the end of his days. There are days when I feel as if I should, but then I reason, why? There is nothing that is right for everyone, so I'll just figure it out as I go along.
I am still wearing my wedding band, and his, actually. It is 5 and a half years out. I just never felt to take them off. In the meantime, I started "seeing" an old family friend in October. We dated in a platonic manner for 3 months. Our first kiss was on Christmas night, and by Jan 10 he proposed. So I now have a diamond, too. Miss Manners said that in the Victorian times a widow kept her rings on for life, or in the event f a remarriage, she kept them on until the morning of her next wedding. I feel strangely in tune with this and it is still one form of proper etiquette. ( I say a widow should do what she feels in her heart.) My new guy is very patient and understanding with all of this. He has held me in high regard for a long time, over the years of friendship. I have three grown children and I think they have been appreciative of his attitude and the rings. I will change it up before the wedding. The date has not been set.
I realized I kind of like the Victorian way - My late husband is the one who married me and fathered my three wonderful children. My fiancee is the one who has promised to marry me and he brings me much joy and love. Everything in its own time. I was never 'looking" and never tried to be available... I felt my husband's soul bless me the night before this new friendship was rekindled. (It had been nearly dormant for many years...) I felt my husband bless me and tell me to be open to the new love that was coming...
So my late husband's love is even a part of my new love.... so it is natural for me to continue to wear the rings... I may switch them to my right hand, or???? Not sure yet. I still have time.
Most guys would not be quite so understanding... So I am not saying anyone should try to follow my example. I am just a representative of a very small niche category these days of keeping one's wedding ring on all the way to the next wedding day.
Love came by surprise. I never really thought it was in the cards for me.
I am happy for you and wish you and your soon to be husband all God's blessings....I think he is patient ...but also feel you need to continue to do what's best for you ..as the wedding approaches I feel you need to decide what you will wear and wear...have you considered having your rings from your late husband reset into something you would be comfortable wearing eveyday...maybe a necklace or a reset ring? I;m sure you and you new husband will figure something out......PEACE