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I took mine off way before I started to date -- but I tend to get very long-lasting tans -- so I took mine off around the first anniversary, at the beginning of summer.... I figured that when I tan, it lasts till October, and by October, I'd probably be ready to date. Didn't want anyone to think I was cheating (or "on travel," as they say!).

Turns out my timing was nearly perfect....

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Oh katpilot, I am so very happy to hear this news. Congratulations to you and your new love.

Bob has been gone 4 years and I still wear a wedding ring. I have been on the habit of removing my rings and watch when I get home. Several months ago when I reached into the drawer to get my rings Without looking I picked up Bob's wedding ring. Since then I wear his ring daily instead of mine. Peace to all.

Thanks for your story, katpilot.  I'm open to another good man in my life and Ron knew that- he was 15 years older so it was likely that I'd outlive him.  I'm not sure I could ever find someone I was crazy enough about to give up the independence I enjoy now, but I never say never.  It will have to be in the normal course of my life, though- I'm not impressed enough with what I see on dating sites to pursue anyone. 

When my husband was in the hospital is hands had become swollen and they had to remove his ring. On previous occasions this  had happened before. We had plain gold matching bands and I always put his under mine for safe keeping. It has been over 4 years and still wear both and have no plans to remove them, they give me great comfort.

I took mine off about a year or so ago. They don't stay off. I miss wearing them and the design and meaning etc. I see wedding bands on others and I realize what I don't have but do have. If that makes sense. Donna went into the hospital 7/10/11 and died in hospice 08/07/2011. I have put the rings on as my way of remembering though I never forget. 

"On day arm and arm

We left home and and closed the door

You never returned"

I wore mine for several months after my wife died then I sent both of them to a jeweler in Upstate NY and had them melted down and had one ring made, a Claddagh. 

I've been widowed for 3 months.  I removed my wedding ring for a day last week, jut to see how I felt.  It felt so strange and detached from having been married for 35 years.  i also wasn't ready to give single- or married- men the wrong impression.

I've got it back on and feel protected again.  I will probably take it off after one year, but who knows.

I believe I answered this already - that I removed my ring shortly after Ed died.

Recently my sister and I were going through my mother's jewelry (she died in March) and we came across a ring she had made! Silver and unmistakedly an S shape! We looked at each other, I popped it on my finger where it fit perfectly, and now I wear that ring. I have missed wearing a ring so this is just so perfect.

I have answered this earlier, but here is an update: I have been widowed 4 1/2 years now. My own wedding ring became uncomfortably tight, but I did not feel comfortable with no ring. Solution: I have been wearing my husband's wedding ring on my middle finger for 4 years.  It feels like a good way to acknowledge our connection and my widowed status, even if I'm the only one who knows. I find that even with it not on my ring finger, it seems to project the "I'm unavailable" vibe I was looking for. I doubt I'll ever take it off.  This is such an individual decision, and I think anyone reading this should feel comfortable doing whatever feels right!

I totally agree, Hope.  It's such an individual decision for any of us going through this and whatever any of us decide to do....should feel comfortable for us and we should know we are doing the right thing for us. My husband died close to three months ago and I wear his ring behind my wedding ring on my ring finger. This feels right for me.  When and if that changes in the future....we'll see.

Hi everyone,

I wanted to give my different perspective and situation on the wedding ring discussion. My husband lost a lot of weight during the last 6 months of his life that he couldn't wear his wedding band anymore, and he placed it in his top drawer of his bedside stand. A couple weeks before he passed he reminded me that his band was there, because he wasn't sure he was going to make it, which led to a long emotional discussion. He wanted to be buried with "our" wedding band on, so that is exactly what I did. He has his and I have mine!

I am allergic to metal and if in contact with my skin for any length of time, it starts leaving an itchy red rash in the shape of the metal, eventually "eating" my skin raw if not removed. So when it became time to purchase wedding bands I was very nervous and wasn't sure what to do. There is a company that does make decorative rubber wedding bands, mainly for people who can't wear jewelry for safety reasons, but I really didn't want to do that. So, when we went to pick out wedding bands, the woman who helped us, told me that they can put a hypoallergenic coating on my ring and that a lot of people had had a lot of success with it, so I did that. After my husband placed it on my finger, I was amazed after a couple of days that the metal ring wasn't "eating" my skin. Yay for me! Well, 6 months before my husband passed my ring every now and then would itch and I told my husband that the hypoallergenic coating must be wearing off. We discussed having the coating redone on mine and having his resized, but we never got to it before he passed. By the time my husband passed away, I was very aware of the presence of my ring, because it itched and was irritating my skin underneath the ring, but I refused to take it off. Six months after losing the love of my life, my ring was irritating my skin so bad, it was not only itching so bad I couldn't stand it, but it was now starting to "eat" my skin. In a moment of "I've got to get this thing off my finger" moment, I ripped it off my finger, gave a big sye of relief while saying ahhh. And then I realized what I had done, and totally broke down, especially after realizing the date. It was exactly 6 months to the day of my husband's passing. I was shocked, mortified, and inconsolable. After I came around, I realized that I would never send it out to be recoated for fear that something would happen to it and be lost to me forever. I couldn't take that chance of losing the ring my husband placed on my finger. I knew I couldn't put it back on my finger, so I put it in the display case (that contains a few other precious things), that sits on my fireplace mantle, where I can see it all day long. After removing the ring, my skin healed, leaving a dark scar ring (like a tan) around my finger in the exact shape of the ring where it once used to sit. Even though it's summer and I have a tan, I can still see the scar ring of where my wedding band once sat. There are days that I can physically feel the wedding band, not the itching or sore skin, but the actual wedding ring on my finger. To the point that I have to look at my finger to verify to my brain that it is really not there! Weird, but true. I think I am going to have his signature tattooed across that scar on my finger in Indian ink that would match the Indian ink tattoos that my husband had.

I don't know if there is anyone out there, like me, that buried there spouse with there wedding band on. I just wanted to say that if there is, they're not alone.

So sorry about your loss. My hubby passed Oct. 15th '13 after 4 1/2 years of suffering with kidney cancer. He is buried with his ring. He couldn't wear it due to working in a mill. So now wearing it for eternity. I don't wear mine anymore due to being engaged.

I don't know what I will do with my diamonds.


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