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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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I took mine off way before I started to date -- but I tend to get very long-lasting tans -- so I took mine off around the first anniversary, at the beginning of summer.... I figured that when I tan, it lasts till October, and by October, I'd probably be ready to date. Didn't want anyone to think I was cheating (or "on travel," as they say!).

Turns out my timing was nearly perfect....

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I have what I call a "widow ring".  It is a black diamond surrounded by tiny white ones.  Only I know what it means.  It looks ambiguous.  It could be an engagement ring (and indeed, some people have bought the same ring as one).  It could be a wedding set.  Or it could be just a ring.  I wear it all the time like I did my wedding ring.

Yes I have been wearing my widow ring for years. It's basically a eternity ring of black diamonds  (Ice.com) I stopped wearing my wedding rings at 6 months.  I lost 50 pounds in four months so they fell off.  It seemed stupid to resize them.

I took my band off probably about 6 months after.  I don't really remember the date which is odd for me. Anyway, I think I'll always feel like I'm still married to him but I didn't feel right wearing the ring anymore.  It's been about 2 years since I stopped wearing it and just now I looked at my ring finger and realized that the indentation is gone now... I love that some of you have had your rings reconfigured and would really enjoy seeing photos.

I tried removing both our rings when I started dating, but I started dating too soon for me. I broke up with the guy and started wearing both rings together again. I liked the soft clink of his ring against mine. He had bigger hands and I used mine to keep his in place. But about a year and a half ago, I put his away in the silver ring box that our ring bearer held while walking down the aisle during the wedding ceremony.

Almost three and a half years later, I still wear mine as a reminder of how much I was loved and how proud I was to be married to Gary.  I’m not ready to start dating. If I ever decide to take mine off, I’ll put it in the silver box along with his.

No removal here.

I’ve been waffling about what to with my rings. I’m over a year now.

My house was recently broken into and a bunch of my jewelry was stolen. I’m so thankful I was wearing my rings at the time. 

I've never posted here before, however I have been reading/viewing many posts in this and other areas.  I have had to deal with loss too many times in the last 10 years (father, brother, close friend, and recently spouse) that I initially had a strong exterior when it comes to loss.  However my spouse was a very different thing.  We were high school sweethearts, dated 7 years, married 10, have 4 very small children and her death due to cancer came quick, 7 months, 2 months after the birth of our fourth child. My wife died at the young age of 35.  I thought I was doing ok, however this past weekend we would of been celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary and fathers day on the same weekend.  It was rough, however I did decide to try taking my ring off.  I'm not someone who normally wears jewelry but for the last 11 years my wedding band has exception.  I rarely ever took it off.  Now, a few days later after it's off, it's still a pain when I don't see it there.  I'm not sure if it's right or if I will keep it off, but I feel like it's a step.  I know I'll love her forever, but I also know I need to grow. I'm not sure what is "right" but just wanted to add to the comments, and say thank you for all who posted as reading the variety of other peoples decision and reasons really does help.

Zwesr2000...I am so sorry...the best I can say is there are no rights and wrongs with grief...it is an individual decision if and when you remove your wedding ring...we are all different ...do what makes you feel best...I am at 7+ years and at times wear one of the wedding bands my husband gave me on my right hand ...and at times don't......wishing you peace with your decision..

Condolences on the death of your beloved spouse.

There is no "right" or "wrong" when adjusting to the death of a spouse (or any other loved one).  Do not allow anyone to tell you otherwise.

Personally, I prefer to keep wearing my wedding band; I see no reason to cease wearing it.

norm

Losing one's spouse IS different.

Sounds like you should keep wearing your wedding band. I wore mine on my left hand for 5 years.  I still wear my widow's ring.  My wedding ring doesn't fit on my right.

So sorry for your loss but i'm glad you found us.

Zwrest I am sorry you had to find us but it is good to have you on board.  Slick really has it right. "There are no rights and wrongs with grief". No two grief's are the same. We just share the same loss of a loved one. We do evolve and yes we even grow with what has happened to us. I say this after eight years so it is easy for me to talk that way now. Your wedding ring is not what keeps your love alive. That happens simply because the love is true. I still wear my ring and will die with it on. I was part of a book titled "Grief through the eyes of men" in which I spoke about how I would always wear it and never marry again because I was a done deal long ago and had already found perfection. The day the book came out was the day I met a widow who I would then marry. She felt the same way and wears her wedding ring still today. I contradicted myself for certain which proves that you never know what may transpire to change your life. I will always love Kathy and for all of time but now I have an inscription inside my ring that my bride Patty put there that joins us both in a four way love affair.  Grief does not end even if you find new love and there is not a day where we don't think about them. Sometimes we hug each other in our pain while knowing they brought us together. But it is not the ring that keeps the love alive. 

Yes you will love her forever and I hope you can feel her strength and guidance to help you on your grief's journey. It is indeed difficult but know you are not alone.

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