Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I took mine off way before I started to date -- but I tend to get very long-lasting tans -- so I took mine off around the first anniversary, at the beginning of summer.... I figured that when I tan, it lasts till October, and by October, I'd probably be ready to date. Didn't want anyone to think I was cheating (or "on travel," as they say!).

Turns out my timing was nearly perfect....

Views: 31320

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I agree that it is a very personal decision and there are no rules about what is right or wrong.  I'm at 7+ years and I've adjusted what rings I've worn on my left hand over the years. I've been wearing his band and a widow ring on my left hand for a few years now. Having rings on my left hand made me feel 'unavailable', like Hope said, and since I didn't want to date it just felt right for me.

I've recently lightened up on my hardened stand about dating ... if someone drops out of the sky and sweeps me off my feet (LOL); I think I would probably move his ring to a chain if I were to start dating. 

I never could nor would remove my wedding ring even after seven years.  I will always be connected to Kathy and wear it in her honor. Here is an unusual twist however. Now that Patty and I are married and she of course felt the same way as I do about her wedding ring we found a way to keep them and honor who we still love including each other.  Patty had a special message engraved on my ring and I replaced the missing center stone of hers. We feel the closeness to Kathy and Patty's Ron yet the love we share between us is very special indeed. 

You are doing so many things to show others how to blend their new life with their old life, Stephen. Thank you.

I  so love this, gigicarol! Beautiful.

I love that.  If my husband had actually worn his band (he lost his original one and never wore the replacement) I would do the same.  But this is great.  Thanks for sharing the photo!

It is so interesting and telling about when you took of your rings.

I wore mine which were two the original wedding bands of two rolling rings one pink gold the other yellow and for the ten year anniversary a plain band with amor vincit ominia engraved for about four years after Donna's death. I took it off.

Since I don't have any jewelry I will put my bands on around Christmas and wear them until Donna's birthday 2/14. I keep thinking that not wearing them will be a good sign that I will meet someone organically... like hell. Ha

I admit I do wear Donna's rings on a chain. The joke I would tell my counselor at CancerCare was that if I dated anyone I would have to take the chain off for fear of the rings on the chain swinging during the horizontal tango and I would chip my dates tooth. 

Thanks all for your insight. 

Attachments:

Your photo is really beautiful, Mark. I'm at 7 years and still wear Vern's band with a widow's band holding it in place. I haven't planned on dating, so it really hasn't been an issue for me. I've taken them off at home at times but haven't gone out anywhere without them. However, very recently I've contemplated the option of dating and think I'd probably either move them over to my right hand or put them on a chain if that should ever happen. Your comment, however, made me LOL.

It's been three weeks, the night he died, I put my husband's ring on and took mine off.  Not sure how long I will wear it, but for now it is right.

Izzie, I also wear my husband’s wedding ring. Bob passed almost 5 years ago. About 2 years ago when I reached into my jewelry box to take out my wedding ring I picked up his wedding ring instead, and I have worn it everyday since. Peace to all.

I have what I call a "widow ring".  It is a black diamond surrounded by tiny white ones.  Only I know what it means.  It looks ambiguous.  It could be an engagement ring (and indeed, some people have bought the same ring as one).  It could be a wedding set.  Or it could be just a ring.  I wear it all the time like I did my wedding ring.

Yes I have been wearing my widow ring for years. It's basically a eternity ring of black diamonds  (Ice.com) I stopped wearing my wedding rings at 6 months.  I lost 50 pounds in four months so they fell off.  It seemed stupid to resize them.

RSS

© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service