I took mine off way before I started to date -- but I tend to get very long-lasting tans -- so I took mine off around the first anniversary, at the beginning of summer.... I figured that when I tan, it lasts till October, and by October, I'd probably be ready to date. Didn't want anyone to think I was cheating (or "on travel," as they say!).
Turns out my timing was nearly perfect....
At 5 months out when I received my gorgeous Victorian mourning ring from ebay. I also purchased a black/gunmetal spinning eternity ring from Wal-mart & a couple more simple inexpensive eternity rings from ebay.
It will be 4 years on the 29th. I chose our bands. They were unusual, kind of a chain look, with spaces. She loved them, and we got frequent comments about them. We thought hers was lost after she was in ICU for 10 days, but a nurse had taken it and put it away for her. After she died, I continued to wear mine, after 36 years my hand felt odd without it. I took her ring out of the jewel box a few months later, and it fits my left little finger perfectly, so I wear both for now. Will that feeling of comfort I get change? Maybe, but it feels good now. It's a part of us that I can keep with me and in a small way feel her presence. I find myself touching it often, .The lesson I learn here is to do what feels right for you. I have had close friends ask about it in a caring way, but it helps me cope now,
I just removed mine today. It would have been Ron's 79th birthday. He died last November 15.
I never took my wedding band off except fr a few occasions when I did it absent-mindedly; hadn't had it off since Ron died, for sure. It's a thin, plain platinum band so it's durable and never looked impressive enough for anyone to want to steal. Right now it's on top of the box with Ron's ashes, which is wrapped in one of his favorite flannel shirts. There's a picture of him at our wedding in 2003 right next to it. Strange days indeed, but I'm building a different life because I have to. Eventually the ring will go onto the platinum chain containing Ron's wedding bands (the original, which went missing for a couple of years plus the replacement) and the silver charm with his fingerprint.
My heart is heavy right now but I've weathered Ron's death far better than I ever expected and I'm almost relieved when I feel some grief. Next week I'll be dropping some of his ashes into the water off of Reykjavik, Iceland and that will be another sad moment. It was our last trip, just about two years ago, and one of our best. It's good for me to stop and remember what I've lost.
For what it's worth I swore I would never remove my wedding ring and my wife Kathy died almost seven years ago. I will never stop loving her but here is what is different. While I understood I would never love or marry again, I met a widowed lady at a fundraiser last October for Hospice and something I did not want or expected happened. It was as if something out of our control was bringing us together. She loves her husband too and will always love him. The thing is we fell in love with each other regardless. We married two weeks ago and I kept my ring and she hers. We share our pain and we celebrate their lives always holding them dear to our hearts. So I guess I can say the ring still has it's place on my finger but there is an added engraving on it now.
And guess what? It is possible to love two people at the same time
Oh katpilot, I am so very happy to hear this news. Congratulations to you and your new love.
so happy for you both.....as Dianne said enjoy your new love
Thanks for your story, katpilot. I'm open to another good man in my life and Ron knew that- he was 15 years older so it was likely that I'd outlive him. I'm not sure I could ever find someone I was crazy enough about to give up the independence I enjoy now, but I never say never. It will have to be in the normal course of my life, though- I'm not impressed enough with what I see on dating sites to pursue anyone.
When my husband was in the hospital is hands had become swollen and they had to remove his ring. On previous occasions this had happened before. We had plain gold matching bands and I always put his under mine for safe keeping. It has been over 4 years and still wear both and have no plans to remove them, they give me great comfort.