A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I took mine off way before I started to date -- but I tend to get very long-lasting tans -- so I took mine off around the first anniversary, at the beginning of summer.... I figured that when I tan, it lasts till October, and by October, I'd probably be ready to date. Didn't want anyone to think I was cheating (or "on travel," as they say!).
Turns out my timing was nearly perfect....
The main reason why I removed it is so I dont' have to explain my situation to people (hairdresser, manicurist, parent at kids activities etc) who dont' know me, when they assume I have a husband because I am wearing a wedding ring. I dont' mind talking about it but more than anything the other person feels awkward and overly apolegtic and I'd just rather not go there. I am about to have it sized so that I can wear it on my right ring finger instead. Although hmmm..that may promote other interesting dialogue like why it is on right hand instead of left.
I totally get it, esp. the comment re: the fight to get you to wear a ring. :)
Duane initially refused but on our wedding day he surprised me by buying rings for both of us (we had agreed: no rings) -- and he wore his til the end.
at Heathrow Airport before I boarded my flight to Geneva to meet my exboyfriend from boarding school (he found me a year after Cliff died) and we'd lost touch back in 1982 ... we're allowed to be frank and honest here, right? Well I'd asked him if he could "help me out" because I'd just started thinking about and missing sex ... and so enjoyed a few weekends in different cities with him ... better than going for a massage ;-)
don't think it matters where ... but I mentioned that because at the time it was really really important to me (it wouldn't be now though) that it was "away from home". I don't know
why ... but it seemed crucial to me a year ago. Widow/er brain?
He lives over there and travels with work a lot, so it was the only time we could find with both our jobs.
I don't think it's weird Peter, maybe because it was your wife's friend, she had similar qualities?
Same for me ... only one person. And I think I asked him because, we'd already been together, I knew and trusted him and we agreed on no commitment whatsoever ... but sharing this with you has just made me understand that subconsciously I probably favoured my decision because "it didn't count" because we'd already experienced this together as teens - perhaps if that makes sense?
I will go check out your other post.
I totally get that about the understanding of the situation ... this friend of mine has become one of my most cherished sounding boards today. He is smart and a calm influence ... he talks through stuff with me, makes me slow down and think before I act, as sometimes I am blind to the fact that my emotions can be coloured or biased by grief. And we are close enough that he can say that LOL.
Wow, you widows are always worried about being insensitive and offending people... LOL
No, I assumed that you hadn't seen the other post. My wife and I used to kid about this person that she's such a handful that she'll always be single and never have the husband and children that she so desires.
LOL ;-) I love that you said that - appeals to my dry sense of humour.
Good ... I saw your reply and couldn't comment. The thread thing here is confusing me a little ... I liked what you said about you come as a package and so would they. That's how my husband viewed it - he was very giving and generous with his love and patience