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So this might be a morbid topic, but death is what unites us...
Has anyone given any thought to where they want to be buried?
A year ago if someone asked me I'd have said, right there above my wife, you see it, that spot where the grass hasn't even grown in yet.
But as time went on and I thought about there being another wife, it became more of a conundrum with so very many variables, and to this day is a question to which I have no definitive answer, but which comes to mind anytime the idea of future happiness does.
Cliff was cremated and his ashes scattered via fireworks. I have some left which are kept in a locket and I will be cremated wearing that locket and my wedding ring will be put in the coffin (I decided to leave his wedding ring on him after he died).
Even if I were to have another relationship, I wouldn't change this.
Just remembering that even though my dad remarried after my mom died, he stipulated in his will that his ashes were to be buried with hers so that my sister and I could visit them together.
It's a hard choice for some people, I'd imagine. Especially those who are widowed young (and never stop loving their first spouse) who remarry and love the new spouse (equally yet differently, somewhat like a mother finds enough love in her heart to love each child equally). Because they may have been married for 5 years to one, then another 40 years to the next. THAT would be very difficult I think?
it's hard isn't it? I think being cremated gives you the option as you described above ... but as you say, not everyone wants to be cremated. And that means you either make the choice or let your spouse make the choice.
Interesting because a blog I follow describes this issue today - here's the link if you want to read it:
I loved what you said in your closing words. Succinctly (must focus on that LOL) and so astutely. So true.
The comment about the plaque on the grave just made me contemplate the other half of Claire's stone if I don't end up on top of her. I'd always imagined that if it weren't me then Hannah would want to eventually be with her mother, but hopefully she'll have her own family one day as well, and will likely want to be with them, so maybe if I'm not there I should still have my name added, along with the location where my body can be found, in case anyone is looking for me.
I can be found at XXX Cemetery
Plot number XX by the oak tree.
I'm glad I sent the link then. She wrote that blog post on the day you were wondering about it. I love how we can all help each other and not even know we are! You know if you have a plaque like you described, if it was a memorial plaque (e.g. you added the words "In Memory Of" or similar, then you are still there, because you have chosen to be memorialized there. Similar to the way that some of the bereaved don't visit graveyards, but opt to sit on a bench erected "in memory of ..." and remember them and reflect. Your body can be somewhere else like you said. But your daughter could lay flowers by the stone AND the plaque. Your spirit(s) will be all around her wherever she roams <3
And I did notice the year of death you entered BTW ;-)
I mentioned being taxidermied to someone else and they sent me this article...