Hmm it's complicated. If it were just the two of us, a first marriage, no children yet. Yes! Yes! Yes! Unfortunately, our lives were already very complicated when we met. Those complications made life very very very difficult for the first 15 years of our marriage. The last 15 were amazing. So not sure. Really not sure.
We had some hell years that made us all the more devoted to one another as well as stronger as a couple able to overcome diversity ...
Out of all things, our worst problem was Bob's parents. I ignored them. Bob did not tolerate their favoritism for their other grandchildren & bigotry toward me. They went round & round over it for years. Consequently, after his death I cut them out of our lives ASAP. It's been 8 years, so we don't know if they're still alive. Regardless, we're good w/having them gone since our peace & happiness are all that matters ...
There would be no hesitation, I'd do it over in a heartbeat. But it brings up a memory. A few years back I had read a short story by Stephen King, about a man entering the afterlife to find he has a choice. He can go back to his birth and relive his life exactly as he did the first time, or he can end it in eternal blackness. This story struck a raw nerve with me and I talked to Vicky about it. She was several years deep into a terminal cancer, and she said she couldn't go through all this again. That may have been the saddest moment of my life.....still. I would never hesitate. We had the most incredible run. I loved her so fiercely for 24 years, and even through 8 years of treatments and surgeries we'd done so much. In all honesty, I'd give anything to do it all over again.
Thanks so much for asking this question. I've been reflecting and talking about this all day. I have to revise my answer from above. This question really has helped me resolve some doubts. In the midst of all the stress, we were in our little bubble together, always a team, one mind. We talked and laughed and cuddled and encouraged and were always there for each other. All the fallout after his sudden death brought some of the stress from those first 15 years back into my life; this time, without my partner/hero/helper and doing this solo has clouded my view of what it was like when we were together. But if he were by my side again: Yes, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Even if there was more stress during those 15 years. I'd yell: bring it on! We can handle anything together. We were so awesome, we really were. I just wish that I could magically go back and do it all again.
I'm not going to pontificate, however I absolutely believe that an afterlife exists. To say no is the ultimate height of arrogance.
Yes, I will see Janet again and you will be with your wife and family.
Contrary to the science channel we are more than the result of microscopic bacteria from a billion years ago.
I don't know whether I still believe in an afterlife anymore, but I always did feel as though I had known Judith in some previous life. We were a hand-in-glove fit for 30-plus years--30 of them married.
I'd definitely do it again- we were together for almost 20 wonderful years, married the last 13. I knew going in that I'd most likely outlive him since he was 15 years older. We married late in life but made so many memories together.
Not sure if Id do it again with anyone else, though. I'm 64 now. In a new relationship I'm more likely to end up as caregiver sooner (although the reverse could happen, I know). Even though I had the best of circumstances with DH (the slide downhill was pretty swift, he was sweet to the end) I don't know if I want to go through that again with someone else.
In a heartbeat. No hesitation. He was the best 43 years of my life.
Same here. I'd do it all over again in a second. No regrets.