This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Born in the 90s

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Latest Activity: Jul 3

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Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 25, 2017 at 7:22am

We're hanging out in the WV chat room for anyone who finds themselves alone on Christmas day. Join us!

Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 31, 2016 at 10:57am

Don't be alone this evening ... we'll be in the Widowed Village chat room tonight to keep each other company. 

Event post:

If you haven't tried it yet, here's a direct link to the chat room:

Comment by Lulu on December 19, 2016 at 7:00pm
Thanks, I will pray for you too. Good luck to all this holiday season.
Comment by Mev's Wifey on December 17, 2016 at 11:19pm

Yes, I understand. I feel the same way too. Indeed, "crazy" might be the correct word to describe all this.

I am glad that you've been able to listen to it. Be very courageous, especially during these festive times. I'll keep you all in my prayers. 

Comment by Lulu on December 17, 2016 at 11:07pm
Ps I listened to I surrender, what a great song!
Comment by Lulu on December 17, 2016 at 11:06pm
Ya I totally agree Mev's Wifey. He is still my world too. Everyday of my life still revolves around him. And he knew me better then I knew myself and I feel like if he was here he would be able to figure out what I'm feeling and help me through it.
It is crazy how our lives turned out. Your hubby was right, expect the unexpected.
Comment by Mev's Wifey on December 17, 2016 at 7:36am
I totally agree with you Lulu. I am selfish too, I would prefer having him back here. He was the only person who could actually understand me and cheer me up. My was and still is my world. This end of year season will be really really hard for us.. First christmas and first new year without our soulmate. :(
Isn't this weird, we all here should have been talking about how many months pregnant we are, or about our wedding anniversary. But instead, we are unlucky enough to be talking about our widowhood. Life is really strange sometimes; you see some couples who are together but don't love each other, and then there's us, who despite the love we have for our spouse, we can never be together.
My hubby always said "You must always expect the unexpected". But I would never have expected to lose him like this, so young, leaving me with shattered dreams
Comment by Lulu on December 16, 2016 at 3:29pm
Uh 6 months, I'm by no means better but at 10 months I'm noticeably better then at 6 months so have hope Mev's Wifey. I like the 'I survived' I do that too after every big day or after I've pushed myself to go and do something hard. I still cry it out when I'm sad. Sometimes I blare the music to help me get it all out. I'll play songs that were special to us or that remind me of him. I'll wait till I get home if I can for the big crystal then I cry, sometimes I'll add in a little pity party. I figure better to get it out then sit there with it. After A big cry, to calm down I like to watch a movie. I love movies. Another thing I did, mostly at the beginning is I would read grief books. I think they made me feel normal and not alone. I'm saving a book up especially for my Christmas vacation because I have a feeling I'm gunna need a lot of comfort. I try to tell myself he's in a better place but I don't know, I'm too selfish. I'd rather he be back with me. One thing that makes me feel grateful is that I'm glad that I could carry this grief burden for him. I used to ask him if I could die first so I would never have to live without him and he said I could. But now I'm so glad he never has to feel the pain I am feeling.
Comment by Mev's Wifey on December 16, 2016 at 8:54am

Megraf, this is what I do personally. I just go day by day - and at the end of the day, I whisper to myself "I survived one more day". I let the tears out whenever they come forth. And today is exactly 6 months that I burried my hubby, but I am still in shock, I still can't truly accept that he's not going to walk through the door again. As for the mind, it's the only thing that pops up every single minute. I guess all we have to do is pray really hard and try to go on with this "new normal". But sincerely, as time is passing by, I can't say that the pain lessens, it is still the same unbearable pain as the day I heard the words "Mr. Virassamy has passed away". As the saying goes, "where there is deep grief, there was great love". I try to convince myself that he is in a better place. That there is only joy and peace up there.

By the way, Ryder is a nice name.. :)

Comment by Megraf on December 16, 2016 at 7:43am

Yes, Lulu and Mev's Wifey! Bran was so excited of the idea that we were going to try and have a baby. We would talk about what kind of parents we would be. We couldn't decide on a girls name, but we really liked Ryder for a boy. I think the only thing we can do is go day by day, trying not hurt as bad. I thought that time would make me feel better, but it is still extremely hard! How do you guys cope with the pain? Just crying or do you do something to keep your mind occupied?


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