This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Born in the 40s or Earlier


Born in the 40s or Earlier

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to

Members: 178
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Born in the 40s or Earlier to add comments!

Comment by Bonnie 2 hours ago
Great ideas, Barbee thanks for sharing them.
Comment by Bonnie 2 hours ago
Hope, I am also looking for ways to keep my life more full. In the year and two months since my husband died, I feel I just sort of floated through time in a daze. I can hardly remember the first few motns, just feeling numb, angry, sad, lost and not knowing what to do. I travelled with my children and friends, kept going to my painting studio, but I resigned from any and all activities that required me to be somewhere on a regular basis as I just couldn't. But I did find that when I pulled myself into some congenial group activities it was better. Is there any kind of volunteer activity you would like? Do you sew? make anything? are there associations or groups that do the things you like, or are there lessons you could take? I did take painting classes and they were good--I still do a drawing class every week, or at least most weeks. It's a small and congenial group and it has been very supportive. I haven't wanted to join grief groups that just talk about painful feelings, so I have tried to keep to positive activities. I am now starting to re-connect with some more active volunteer things but only if they are fun and fulfilling for me. I gave myself all of last year to be very self-indulgent and outside of meeting required responsibilities that frankly were hard to meet, I didn't do anything I didn't want to do. I hope you can find some appealing things to get you into new directions. Art has been a road for me and I am grateful.
Comment by offthewall 2 hours ago

There are many things I do - and many more I want to do - if only I had the energy!!  I go to weight loss support group each week and meet with friends 3x week and go to book club 1st Tues of the month and now have a friend to go to local plays with.  I walk when I have energy and will go to botanical gardens soon to walk.  A lot of time spent working - looking for "stuff" to sell and then taking photos, whiting ad copy - and then packing and mailing.  BUT...  still have a lot of time just reading or watching NETFLIX. 

Will be doing babysitting at least 2x week until my son heals from his foot operation.

To do in future:  would like to learn Spanish, understand Calculus, go bird watching. Want to get back to canoeing and kayaking but need to lose the weight so I do not sink the boat!!!

Maybe will pick apples soon.

Would volunteer places but no energy to do that right now.  Lots of museums here in Richmond - want to go to them.  Going to do my yoga breathing now - that helps if only for a short time.  Bev

Comment by barbee 2 hours ago

Hope, do you have some hobbies or can you take a class to learn something new? Fabric and craft stores always seem to be offering something. Reading helps me. Keeping music on in the background makes the house seem less empty. I adopted a cat last spring and that really helped. (Unfortunately, she got very sick very quickly and I had to put her down last week so my house seems too quiet again). Check out activities at your senior center. Maybe help a church serve food to the homeless. Volunteer at an elementary school to listen to young children read.Start a coffee group in your neighborhood. (We call ours Muffin Mondays and get together from 10-12 once a week.) Look in your local newspaper and see if something grabs you as being something fun to do. I now it is hard, but you just gotta get up and do -- even when you don't want to! You can make it happen!!!

Comment by Bonnie 2 hours ago
Maggie, I agree that age doesn't matter when it comes to grief--it is just as hard whenever. What does matter is that I don't see as much time ahead of me and that certainly affects my trying to figure out how to redefine my life. If I were younger, I think I would be looking for some kind of job and might even return to teaching at least part-time but I simply don't have the energy to do either right now. I have a close friend who was widowed suddenly in a truly horrible way--her husband died in the seat next to her on an airplane near Greenland as they were flying home to Atlanta from Europe. She was only 59 at the time. She told me that it took her over five years and she still grieves, but she has found new happiness with someone else and has recreated a very full life. I don't see how to do that at my age. The third anniversary for you and the second for me and yes, the loneliness is worse and I don't think it will ever leave me entirely. I am still trying to stay busy but I just find much of it sort of flat and I am going through the motions and frankly would rather just be sitting in my chair at home. But I know I can't just give up and stop living. I do have hobbies and they do help. I hope you can perhaps find something that is at least interesting enough to you to keep you going back. Reading has been a comfort to me, but it is still a solitary pursuit. I am sending you warm wishes to help move you through tomorrow and into a new day and on to a new page that may be a bit less painful.
Comment by Maggie 3 hours ago
Bonnie, I will be thinking of you as well tomorrow. The third one for me. Honestly the "dates" don't effect me as its all hard and sad. You are 10 yrs older than me and I use to feel, "oh I wish I was ten years older and all this loneliness and grief would end sooner. But hearing from you makes me realize age means NOTHING. it hurts just as much regardless. The loneliness is the same.
My energy level is definitely down, but mostly I believe it's due to there being no incentive. I've been through the busy busy and ultimately i found that wanting. Part of my problem is that I had no hobbies as a younger person. Reading, gardening...that's about it. I'm grateful for many things, but I still feel cheated somehow.
Comment by Hope 3 hours ago

Looking to ask what things you all do to fill your time when you are not working and your spouse is gone. Please tell me all ideas. I am looking to find ways to keep my life fuller than it is now. Right now I sit around the house too much!

Comment by elaine 3 hours ago

HeartsForever, you have really been through a lot, no wonder you are tired.  I certainly had more energy 2 years ago and can only think it is a combination of grief and age.   I walk with a bereavement group, but they all seem to do better than me and I see 80 year olds with loads of energy.  I do have trouble sleeping and am sure this contributes to the tiredness.  Does anyone else have this problem?  I usually fall asleep, but wake up so early. 

Comment by Hope 8 hours ago

I need to start walking off some of my anxiety and stress

Comment by offthewall 23 hours ago

Am going to go "to the wire" fighting.  Think if I could just lose the excess weight - I would not get so tired and that is surely true.  Worked all day traveling to buy "stuff" then cleaning it and taking photos and putting a lot up for sale.  Seems like a lost cause - because I make a few hundred - and then get hit with huge dental bills.  Guess my hoped for Alaskan vacation may not come to pass. (not sure how much I would enjoy it by myself anyway).

My husband was a fighter up until the very end - his memory inspires.

At least I usually get to sleep easily now - being so tired out.

Have to start the morning walks again - 1 week of rain has put me off that regime.  Better for me to be tired out than to dwell in the past.  Bev


Members (177)


© 2015   Created by Soaring Spirits.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service