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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 214
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

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Comment by elaine 2 hours ago

I took a course on Mindfulness, but found it difficult at the time.  Trying to get back into it now and practice the art of mindfulness in my everyday activities.  My mind seems to wander all over the place, past and future, and that is what I find so difficult, I know I have to stay in the present to find peace.

Comment by Okbobbo 2 hours ago
Laura J, thank you. I did attend the retreats for seven years in a row... They were immensely helpful... Mindful silence continues with me even more so since Laura's death. Under the instruction of my Spiritual Director (who says I have reached a plateau) I am spending more effort to achieve Centering Prayer and Meditation... in the hopes of hearing God as clearly as humanly possible. Again, thank you for caring and for the many kind thoughts you have extended to all of us here at WV. Peace, my friend.
Comment by laurajay 9 hours ago

Bob.   Nightly silent retreat  is aptly described.  However,   in a different setting   you might find your faith strengthened  in the company of those seeking greater  spiritual insight through silence.  Long ago we each had weekend retreats  and I remember writing  long into the first night  clearing my thoughts to make room for new spiritual awakening/refreshment.  I sense  increased blessings for you if you decide to join your friend on such a retreat.   Laura would be with you as you well know.   In mindful   silence  it is far easier to hear God than at any other time.   jmo                                           lj

Comment by Hope 9 hours ago

Thinking of you Jim this morning. Yes, it is hard. I realize now how codependent Ken and I were. It worked beautifully and we too both had different interests. It just hits harder when life revolved around each other in so many loving ways. I am trying to be grateful for those years and live here in the present. May God grant us peace and insight

Comment by Faolan 12 hours ago
I know from personal experience how losing a pet is like losing a family member, no matter how many pets we own, we were very much into dogs, German Shepherds and Samoyeds, we exhibited, bred, judged, and took part in obedience and agility. It saddens me to think all that too, has gone.
Comment by Okbobbo 21 hours ago
The sad reality is that loneliness comes in only one size - EXTRA LARGE.

A friend is anxious for me to join him on a men's weekend silent retreat.. I had to tell him that for me every night is a silent retreat...

Peace.
Comment by Jim 22 hours ago

GrandmaH and Barbee --Yes.  We were married young, and I realized only after Mabel died how much our lives were shaped by one another. Through the years our thoughts, ideas, habits, preferences and interests continually surprised me as to how similar we were. I never planned it that way!  We were truly blessed.  Yet.  All this makes me miss her even more...We were co-dependent on one another.  She had her own separate interests as well, such as flower arranging, hiking, mountain climbing, Tai Chi and gardening; and I developed a one acre vineyard with separate hobbies.  We were proud of our separate accomplishments, and she would bring her hiking friends to show "our" vineyard and asked me to give  a lecture on how it was developed. She tutored me on Statistics, and we passed our proficiencies for our doctorates together.    I taught her how to play tennis and had such fun hitting balls to her.  She improved so much she began winning games against me!  I was so proud of her!  I was the only husband who went to all her team's matches to cheer them on...I miss her so much now.  Her teammates use to tease and called me, "Mr. Mabel Moy."  Basically, we grew up together!  In retirement we did everything together.  She'd sing in our car and tell me the story and plots of novels she was reading.  Riding in the car with her generated a precious quality time.    It was a life worth living and I am so distraught without her now.

Comment by Lex 23 hours ago

Not silly. Last month had to have our almost 15 yr old beloved Corgi euthanized. Randy & I  participated in 8 mos of obedience & agility training when we first got her in May 2002. She comforted me when Randy died in Oct 2010 (after 31 years of marriage). She was & always will be our / my special little girl. In Jun 2014, our rescue kitty of 10 yrs died. These secondary losses, even though not human, are devastating to me and bring up all kinds of triggers. Right now I have a 17 yr old kitty and a 26 yr old parrot left. We never had children, so these four wonderful pets were our children. 

I don't post a lot; however read the many postings on a regular basis. WV has & continues to be an important part of my life. My thank you to all of you. 

Comment by elaine yesterday

It's not silly at all, Iris.  Since my husband died, almost 4 years ago, I lost one of my cats in Dec. 2016 and my remaining cat is 19 and I can see she is failing.  Dreading it when she goes, I have had her since she was 6 weeks old.

Comment by Iris yesterday

I'm not sure if it's a secondary loss or not, and this will probably sound silly to some people, but I lost my little teacup toy poodle just a month after the 10th anniversary of losing my husband.  Frosty was a long wanted pet and a gift from my husband, Chuck.  Frosty meant so much to me because Chuck hadn't really thought a teacup toy was a good idea, but he knew how much I wanted the tiny little dog.  I think Chuck loved him as much as I did.  Frosty hardly left his side the last week of his life and was such a comfort to me when Chuck died.  

Frosty had gotten old and was not in good health so his death wasn't a huge surprise.  The terrible way it affected me was.  It felt like I'd lost Chuck all over again.  I totally lost it.  I was having difficult breathing, could barely put a sentence together was just completely falling apart.  Kids were worried about me and took matters in their own hands and soon a new puppy arrived.  I didn't want a puppy, I wanted Chuck back and I wanted Frosty back.  We don't always get what we want in life, but the new puppy needed care and gave me something to focus on besides my grief.  He's been a good little companion and helps with the loneliness.

 

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