Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

Born in the 40s or earlier

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Born in the 40s or earlier

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Members: 128
Latest Activity: 13 hours ago

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Comment by offthewall 13 hours ago

Maybe too much activity of me??  I am out 4-5 evenings each week with various social clubs, charities, friends. This in in addition to a part-time job and clearing out the house. On the evenings I am home, - read, listen to books-on-disk, and watch TV (mostly start to watch TV and fall asleep).  Sometimes this is OK - and sometimes I feel so lonely and abandoned. I find it hard to watch baseball on TV - because we always did that together. 33 years together and now just me and the 21 year old cat.  Hope to be able to afford to get a dog after I move to a condo (after house sells).

Comment by offthewall on Tuesday

New to Widowed Village. It will be 10 months soon. Have been super busy getting rid of everything (almost) in huge house and my husband was a hoarder - especially papers.  I knew I had to get house ready to sell - could not afford and much too big for me too (plus it is 175 years old and impossible to keep up). My husband and I discussed my my moving to a small condo near my son and granddaughters (350 miles away).  After 9 months there is still "stuff" to dispose of - but house is on the market anyway. I still work part time too. Plus the physical activity is tough with 2 hip replacements - and the weight I have gained in the last 1 1/2 year (working now to get that weight off!). Not so sorry to sell after the horrible winter and multiple house problems (leaks, flood, no heat).  Just soooo tired.

Comment by Patty Sue on Friday

only1sue, you ask a good question as to what we do in the evenings. I watch way too much TV but do play Scrabble online a lot and read. The widow/widower group I belong to has happy hours at various restaurants around north county San Diego and I go to those about twice a month--sometimes by myself, sometimes with some other widow friends. I have difficulty driving at night because of some eye problems so unless I can go with someone else, I usually stay home...but I was never much of a party animal anyway. The local university has classes for seniors and I think I will look into going to one of those.

Comment by patarky on April 10, 2014 at 2:52pm

I'm 16 months out from my wife's passing after a 6 year cancer battle.  Yesterday was her 68th birthday.  We both loved music, and a few weeks ago a friend asked me to go with him to a blue's club - his brother was playing drums for a small band, and his wife doesn't enjoy that type of entertainment.  I only had a few beers, but best time I have had since we started the battle with multiple myeloma.  I'm in Houston, so there are numerous small clubs around as well as symphony appearances.  Before her diagnosis we would go to live performances - jazz, blues, folk and classical.  I had forgotten how much I enjoyed it. It was still lonely since I wanted her there, but for the first time in years I actually had a good time, and intend to do this more often now.

Comment by Maggie on April 10, 2014 at 7:43am
I hate the short days as well. I'm in the States and just now Spring Is coming and the days are longer. Just to be able to be outside and the dark not coming until about 7:30 or 8:00 now helps. Maybe an evening class or dinner out with a friend. Nighttime is hard and lonely. But it's all lonely. Life is just not the same and the lack of meaning and joy can be very difficult
Comment by only1sue on April 10, 2014 at 3:31am

I am 18 months out and really starting to feel the loneliness.  I don't know if it is because here in Australia we have just gone off daylight saving and the nights are longer but it seems as  if at 6pm the world quietens down and I feel isolated.  I have not been one for going out at night since the stroke Ray had in 2005 (his fourth) and now wondering if I should find something near by that I can go to in the evenings to have something to look forward to? What does everyone else do in the evenings besides stay at home and watch TV?

Comment by cee on April 4, 2014 at 9:55am

Mfarm it is good that you have your son-in-law to help you with this. I hope it works out for you. And if they pay you -think of it as a bonus and do something for your self or in memory of your loved one.  My place is only farm land. no buildings, the last of our family to live there was close to 100 years ago. The local Legion share farms it as a fund raiser. The biggest downfall was years ago when the government declared it "wetland". The Legion can continue to farm it, but if they stop or I sell it - I becomes "useless" land and cannot be used for anything. So no one is going to want to buy it.

 Enough of this. Hugs and wishes for a peaceful day.

Comment by MFARM on March 29, 2014 at 1:53pm

Cee, sorry that happened. We have several electric and gas easements on the farm I  live on, but they all paid pretty well. My husband always said he'd gladly give it all back plus interest if he could get rid of those poles in the field.

Comment by cee on March 29, 2014 at 9:42am

M Farm,  I had the same thing with my home farmland, they took and easement for new highline wires. I don't remember how many posts they put in but they paid me a samll amount for each and they did clean up around it when finished. Took away a small amout of the farmable land and they didn't pay for not having future use of that area.

Comment by MFARM on March 28, 2014 at 7:29pm

My son in law is an engineer for the county roads in a different state. My daughter says he negotiates these things with individuals all the time and nobody gives them away. I actually was so involved in the absence of my husband, I forgot about this reource, albeit miles away. I guess I'll call him for some advice. Thanks for all your inputs as well.

 

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