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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to widville@gmail.com.

Members: 201
Latest Activity: 17 hours ago

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Comment by Ski 17 hours ago
It is funny how I can be feeling pretty good and all of a sudden it hits me that Dave is gone and I will never see him again and it just feels like the bottom has fallen out of my world and I feel disoriented. Then the feeling fades and I can go on. It is so difficult , but as I have posted before my being sad will not bring Dave back, I will always have him with me and therefore I must try to be content and enjoy my time left to me, without this site and some others I would not be able to be where I am. Your stories and thoughts let me know I am not alone and that is a true gift
Comment by elaine on Wednesday

Peace of mind comes piece by piece.  I came across this yesterday.   Hopefully, it will happen for all of us eventually.  Maggie, I feel the same as you, kind of disoriented by the change in my life, but still wading through.  Making some changes in my home which I hope will help.

Comment by Faolan on Wednesday
Here in the UK we have "sheltered accommodation" for people over fifty, there are wardens whom can be summoned in emergencies, and although the apartments are self contained, there are facilities for socialising, sensory rooms etc. I don't feel "old" enough yet, but my parents and MIL were very happy living in them.
Comment by Maggie on Wednesday
Hope and Barzan, I have been feeling the same way. I can't tell you how tired I am of feeling lonely and how tired I am of the effort to try to keep busy or get involved with something to give me some contentment. I feel I have really tried over the past three years and lately it seems like it's just not working anymore. Plus I've moved and left our home of 11 yrs together/3 on my own and all the memories and hopes we had and a life to be shared into old age. My move would have been more successful, had my SIL, who shares my home, had not met up with an old beau and now I will be alone again within the year. Now I question if I should have moved and counted on her companionship. I'm rather disappointed. How do all of you manage your day in and day out without feeling so lonely. When I'm with people it helps at the time, but then....the reality is always there.

And Jim, best of luck to you! I envy the type of place you are moving too. I doubt if you'll ever be alone again with so many people right there.
Comment by Barzan on Wednesday

First of all, I wish safe travels to you Jim and happy new adventures is Ft. Collins (I live near Golden). 

Secondly, Hope, I understand what you are feeling.  I can be in a roomful of friends and I am still lonely because I miss my husband so much.  There are little thing that really get me going even after 5 years.  For instance, last night I was thinking about a trip we took with a group of friends and had to leave our collie with some friends.  The friends called because of an emergency and we had to make phone calls to have someone else take our dog while we were gone.  I must have spent an hour trying to remember who they were and am still stumped.  There is no one to ask.  My husband would have remembered but he's gone.  I think this is one of the hardest things to deal with, you cannot re-share memories.  They are only yours now or gone forever. 

Comment by Jim on Wednesday

Barbee:  Thanks!

I am closing down my computer today and hope to get back online when the Movers deliver my computer there.  Hopefully, it will not take more than a week.  'They come this Friday to pack some things and load up for my move.  Am looking forward to this move.   I will miss hearing from you all.  Bye for now!!!

Comment by Faolan on Wednesday
Hope, It can feel like wading through water, I know, but it takes a lot of patience and time.
Comment by Hope on Wednesday

Been having a meltdown the last few days. Some days I think I am getting used to this life living alone and then bam...it hits me like a tsunami. I miss him so much and while I have friends and family its lonely without the one person who really gets me.. Some days it just feels like too much to carry day after day.

Comment by barbee on Tuesday

Jim, couple quotes for you as you move and settle in:

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."

 -- Marcel Proust

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."  -- Neale Donald Walsch

Your move sounds so positive and healthy! I wish you only contentment and peace.

(((HUGS)))

Comment by Jim on Tuesday

Maggie:  Yes.  It is a full service retirement community.  Best thing is they did not require a "buy in" fee.  Some homes are expensive because of the buy in fee.  Ours go on a month to month basis which gives me more options should I decide to move out.  They  have a separate Assisted Living facility, a nursing home and a medical clinic on campus.  I was there for lunch and met a fella who came to see his mother.  She was eating lunch with us, but was staying at the Assisted Living facility.  My daughter in law's home is in Gainesville.  Her dad was a professor at the university -- now retired.  Am moving to Ft. Collins because my son and his wife lives there.  She flies to Gainesville wheneveer her dad gets sick or is hospitalized.  They were happy to hear that am coming to Ft. Collins!  I didn't want the kids to fly and rent a car to see me if I should ever get sick!

The University environment is healthy for me.  I can attend concerts, lectures and go to sporting events.  Can audit classes there.  I find being with young people stimulating.  I like that energy.  My "home" offers free shuttle services around town, so I can get to a huge gym, workout,  and come home; can visit the public  library and shop.  Best of all are the people living there!  They have community TV sets, so I don't have to watch TV by myself.   They have a small library.  Lots of small public rooms for socializing.  They have planned social events and am looking forward to those. 

 

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