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 I am new to this group and I lost my husband of 26 years on Valentine’s Day this year. He was 85 and I am not 79. I had been married before but he had not. We had a wonderful marriage and he was the love of my life and soulmate, i find it easy to get through the day and socialise with people but when alone at night I yearn for him to be here with me, the longing is so bad that i am physically in pain, I don’t know how to get over this feeling. I feel like there is a hole in y heart that will never close. I would like to her from someone else who has been in this position and find out how long it lasts and if I will ever get over the longing for him. The funny part is I yearn for the person he was before he got sick. He had prostate cancer that went to his bones. I cared for him at home until the last 3 weeks of his life.  Was with him when he passed away in hospital. Can someone please help me.

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Hi, I truly understand what you’re going through. Nothing can seem to fill the void in my life. I stay up late at night just thinking. Please feel free to reach out to me anytime. My husband also had prostate cancer

Hi tapevad, thank you for your comments. My husband’s ist anniversary has just passed and it was a very sad day. I went with a friend to his favourite Thai restaurant for lunch and had a glass of wine to toast him. He always enjoyed a glass of wine. I am finding that I am not as desperately sad as Iwas. I don’t break down every night in floods of tears although every time I look at his photo or think of the lovely life we shared I still cry. I don’t think we ever really get over it, we just have to learn to live with it. Prostate cancer is very hard to cope with. He went through so many indignities at the end my heart broke for him. In the end it went to his bones and he couldn’t walk, but he never once complained. My friend said he was the most stoic person she had ever known. Like you I stay up late at night sometimes until 2 in the morning. And like you nothing seems to fill the void in my life. I hope you are learning to cope as we all must but it is very hard. So many times I would just love to her his voice or feel his arms around me. He was 85 when he passed away and I am now 79 so it is not like losing someone when you are younger and hoping to meet someone else. Ther will never be anyone for me that will ever take his place. I hope you are getting better in your grief and that you can find some comfort in your memories. All the best

As with every phase, I grieved out my pining for Bob to the point of triggering it every other day if it did not start on its own ...

After grief has ended, there might be moments of "missing" your loved one which will be dramatically different from "pining", if you have healed ...

There are millions of widow/ers in the world no one would ever guess they were from a healed heart & having joy restored in their life ...

The grief process is a long journey ...

I moved back to the Carolinas because I bought his body back home to bury him. Getting involved with Christian women fellowship. I want to reach out and help others. Trying to keep myself busy. 

Hi I’m going on 20 yrs h died in Israel devastatingly and it took me 15. Months to go back to my. Bed if u have supporting people to console u and comfort you the time goes by hopefully u don’t feel the pain I have my moments still and I worry. Takes a toll on my health and I still work too. I’m now 74. I have a married religious son Whose thoughtless and instigates the children he has five ranging in ages 14 to 5. Hand it hurts u have to find a way to go on living.  My sons first gf before he married she knew the state of mind I was in I was caring all the time.  She suggested to get me a dog that cause me to have reason to go home as I was needed. To take care of him. So if u don’t have good friends or family you have to find a way to feel whole and worthy and that’s not easy. Do you work I work in the middle school as a monitor and the kids love me that helps in the summertime I work six weeks on the bus as a matron with special ed have to but when I’m home I still have my moments when I get overwhelmed and frustrated and it takes time. It all depends on ur nature.  Immediately I went to a widows group and we talked a lot of vending that helped if u wish to talk in gphere I was married at that time 27 yrs. now it would be 47 yrs. unbelievable u. Try to carry and feel u are not alone I hope I have helped you can write to me anytime at my email if you wish. Elaine 

You never get used to it.  Somehow y99u must learn to live with it


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