We seem to have been blessed. We had a long (43 years) and happy marriage, jobs that we both enjoyed, two daughters and four grandchildren that live nearby, a home and neighborhood we enjoy. We were planning to visit New England and Niagara Falls for the first time this coming fall and had so much to look forward to. Then out of nowhere my wife was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. She lost her battle on February 19, 2018 after what feels to me like a horrific struggle. I am devastated, terribly lonely, and just trying to survive day to day because the future looks so bleak. Nothing seems worthwhile anymore. Before she died, she said that she wanted me to be happy. I just don't know how to get there except to keep getting up each morning, struggle through the day, touch base with my loving and caring daughters (who themselves are struggling terribly with the loss of their mother), my grandchildren, and my friends, and plan some activities that will get me out of a large, empty home.