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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I am new to Soaring Spirits and this particular group. I find myself here as a result of my beloved husband Ralph’s passing on October 5, 2017. It seems like a lifetime ago, although only 4 months. We would have celebrated our 28th anniversary on November 18, 2017, and although we had each been married before, we were the loves of each other’s lives. We shared many travel adventures, loved good food and cooking together, theater, sharing volunteer work, enjoying family and friends, never at a loss for conversation. It was truly a magical time together. 

Like so many of you, I’m sad and lonely and haven’t the first idea how to recreate my life as one half of “Us.” We went everywhere and did everything together, and now I have no one to make more memories with. I have wonderful friends who have lifted and supported me, and continue to do so; I’m so grateful for them. I look forward to being a part of Soaring Spirits and this group, sharing friendship and stories, and being comforted by our common experience.

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Replies to This Discussion

I am so glad you have many friends supporting you thru these first months!  They are the hardest.

Yes....beginning to realize you will have to go forward without him and build a new identity is a toughie.  

Give yourself time.  I know it doesn’t seem possible at the moment, but gradually you will evolve.  When you are ready, accept invitations from your friends to join them for dinner or an outing.  Try to enjoy moments as they present themselves to you.  I played a game with myself:  every day I had to find cheer and joy in at least ONE THING.  At first it was so difficult.  Gradually it became easier to do.  Letting go of “we” and “us” to embrace “me” and “i” doesn’t happen quickly.

Thank you for your reply, Gwamma. I will take your suggestion to find One Thing to find cheer and joy in every day, it’s a very good one to focus on.  I expect this to be a journey with no end, just an easing of the pain over time. Thank you again!

EarthSpirit   I don't know how you posted  this  here  and you did not do anything wrong  but if you want your posts to be seen and replied  to by your age group...when you so to the born in the 40's  page   scroll  down  to where there are  posts ( comments)  from other  WV  people  in that age group  for more response.  The posts are not titled  there.  I think Soaring  Spiriits is a different branch of widowed  village  and  you might not reach  as many  like-aged  folks as if you post   further  down  the page.  Just a suggestion.  It's  kinda overwhelming  when you get here I know.  Anyway, welcome.   laurajay  


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