I am new to Soaring Spirits and this particular group. I find myself here as a result of my beloved husband Ralph’s passing on October 5, 2017. It seems like a lifetime ago, although only 4 months. We would have celebrated our 28th anniversary on November 18, 2017, and although we had each been married before, we were the loves of each other’s lives. We shared many travel adventures, loved good food and cooking together, theater, sharing volunteer work, enjoying family and friends, never at a loss for conversation. It was truly a magical time together.
Like so many of you, I’m sad and lonely and haven’t the first idea how to recreate my life as one half of “Us.” We went everywhere and did everything together, and now I have no one to make more memories with. I have wonderful friends who have lifted and supported me, and continue to do so; I’m so grateful for them. I look forward to being a part of Soaring Spirits and this group, sharing friendship and stories, and being comforted by our common experience.
I am so glad you have many friends supporting you thru these first months! They are the hardest.
Yes....beginning to realize you will have to go forward without him and build a new identity is a toughie.
Give yourself time. I know it doesn’t seem possible at the moment, but gradually you will evolve. When you are ready, accept invitations from your friends to join them for dinner or an outing. Try to enjoy moments as they present themselves to you. I played a game with myself: every day I had to find cheer and joy in at least ONE THING. At first it was so difficult. Gradually it became easier to do. Letting go of “we” and “us” to embrace “me” and “i” doesn’t happen quickly.
Thank you for your reply, Gwamma. I will take your suggestion to find One Thing to find cheer and joy in every day, it’s a very good one to focus on. I expect this to be a journey with no end, just an easing of the pain over time. Thank you again!
EarthSpirit I don't know how you posted this here and you did not do anything wrong but if you want your posts to be seen and replied to by your age group...when you so to the born in the 40's page scroll down to where there are posts ( comments) from other WV people in that age group for more response. The posts are not titled there. I think Soaring Spiriits is a different branch of widowed village and you might not reach as many like-aged folks as if you post further down the page. Just a suggestion. It's kinda overwhelming when you get here I know. Anyway, welcome. laurajay