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Hi I’m new to the group. I lost my husband May 29,2019 after 48 years of marriage. I keep hoping it will get easier but it’s not some days it’s worse. Some of the things I have read on here have already made me know I’m not crazy. Thank you 

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My wife would have been 90 today.  It's been 10 years.

Hi Don I’m so sorry for you loss. I hope you are doing okay. Do you some family around you?

No Judy .  I don't have any family living here.  If you were ever up this way I'd enjoy taking you to lunch or dinner

Hi Don...so sorry to hear you lost your wife ... how long were you married? I lost my hubby a couple of months ago..9/11/19 and I still can not adjust to the fact I can't discuss things with him so I just do  'all the talking'  now :)...somehow that helps..I have a photo of him with a very familiar expression and I talk to him that way. I still have his ashes and plan to have them scattered in the Gulf 

Take care...take care of yourself..God Bless

Hi Judyrose...My hubby died 9/11/19 after 50 years of marriage... so I sort of relate..My condolences to you,,,I keep trying to remember what I have heard so often..each person is different and we grieve in our own unique way...but I can relate to feeling crazy too after some of the thoughts I have or things I do...it is like no other loss I have ever had in my life...Take care  God Bless

Welcome Judyrose, those of of us here understand, I agree some days are better some are worse. This has been an especially hard Christmas as some physical problems prevented me from getting any decorations down from the attic. I feel like I just shut down and am waiting for the holiday to be over. I live in an area where I have no family and not really any good friends. so really feel the loneliness.  and I may be being picky this year but the few presents i did receive where not things I would have chosen.  I do have an invite for a late dinner today so have that to look forward to.

HUGS to you and to all in this group, I hope you are able to have a peaceful day.

It does feel a bit crazy - thats because its so traumatic!!!!!

im widowed about 1 1/2 yrs and have never suffered this kind of pain, physical and emotional - and I have suffered significant losses in my life.   As many have said, my husband was my soulmate, we were best friends - I found stability in him - as they say - he was my rock --- still is now in spirit but I am working on that part.   Not being able to touch the physical body and feel his energy as I did

is what is so excrutiatingly painful.    I always said that when I would just grab his hand or hug him I would almost instantly be grounded and feel safe! I did realize it then, but now even more so.

For me, I do believe that we are here for a reason -    we often don't know what that is - and sometimes we just float around until we feel that we are significant.  Whatever the reason is for this happening - I sure wish I knew - but probably won't know for a long time and maybe not in this lifetime!!!!! However, I do have a very subtle kind of "knowing" that he was taken when he was as he was not meant to be here on earth during this pandemic and that he can be more helpful now that he is in spirit.

Paradoxically, this pandemic, beginning in March this year, I have been working from home - more at home than I ever was.   Tony was retired and at home - took care of the house, dogs, errands - everything...He was an artist and kept himself busy.

His one big wish was for me to start being home more so we could be together more!!!!!! well, here I am!!!!

makes no sense at all does it.......!

you're RIGHT.  iT  MAKES NO SENSE.  Now  I have everything under control and paid off, in full, but no one to share the leisure  time  for pleasures  like swimming, kayaking;  fishing  trips ,  dancing and hikes.

 

maybe its not about making sense - but it is certainly a cruel twist of fate as far as Im concerned.

Its true that activities are not the same without my husband - we did everything together.

We did best as far as enjoying ourselves when we had "down" time - 

I have a pit in my stomach whenever I think about it too much - or think about him and miss him really being here, physically

that part is irreplaceable - it doesn't resolve with any of the "understandings" we try to come to 

just missing his presence -    his touch -   the physical touch is also irreplaceable - I would just get a hug from him and it felt like everything was going to be o.k.!    what a terrible time for him to not be here!     it adds another layer of grief, sorrow and hopelessness.

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