Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

Born in the 40s or earlier

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Born in the 40s or earlier

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Comment by Patty Sue on February 11, 2012 at 7:30pm

lwgma, my husband's birthday is Feb. 14 also. He would have been 73...and will be if he still is in a place that measures time. I am just staying away from displays of Valentine birthday cards! I often wonder if, in their world, they miss us like we miss them.

Comment by Macduff (Hal) on February 11, 2012 at 2:26pm

So may reminders. I ended up with a subscription to Vanity Fair when I renewed my New Yorker subscription. I hardly ever read the magazine but a front page blurb piqued my curiosity: "What was the most influential movie of the last 30 years?"

So I turned to page 330 of this 392 page issue. The movie they selected was "Diner", Betty's own favorite movie of all time. 20 years ago I bought her the DVD of it on sale but it remained unwrapped. I think Betty was saving it for a special day to watch again. Perhaps I will watch it again sometime... perhaps not. Maybe there are some bits of nostalgia better left just to memories. 

Comment by Jackie (lvgma) on February 11, 2012 at 1:03pm

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, my heart is so heavy with grief right now, Danny would have been 64 on that day.  Itaintime, I played the song and cried- both Danny and I were widowed when we met and we chose to have the dance of a lifetime- that song said it all.. Macduff what a lovely story about you and Betty.  Yes we all have are own to treasure but for you its written- most of us just have to remember.  I will never forget the way Danny and I met, and took off running too.  For all of you on Tuesday- I wish you peace and  have another dance- I need to find my dancing shoes and pull them out and put them on..

Comment by Macduff (Hal) on February 9, 2012 at 8:54am

I had mixed feelings about sharing the most personal and intimate story. Betty was so private and never meant anyone to read it, not even me. I broke out in tears as I had to re-read it several times while I got the formatting right to put it on the blog.

Initially I couldn't even scan it because it was typed on yellow paper and character recognition wouldn't word. So I actually had to rewrite it manually in Word. That was really hard on me.

Comment by itaintme on February 8, 2012 at 2:31pm

Macduff, I've not the time to read the story right now, but I shall read it very soon. I just wanted to thank you so very much for sharing the story with us. I know that I will enjoy the story itself, but we are especially blessed to know that you feel comfortable enough to share it with us. Thank you so much.

Comment by Macduff (Hal) on February 8, 2012 at 1:38pm

My wife wrote an autobiographical short story about when we met. For the past two years I kept it to myself. I believe she was an accomplished enough writer to have been published, but she was modest to a fault, and also a perfectionist, and thus she never wanted to submit anything to a magazine.

I read this short story 20 or so years ago, and it was very meaningful then. It is obviously far more so now because it is a true story of our love at first sight. It is a treasure I am so fortunate to have along with my memories. 

Because it is too long to put here I decided to put it on a blog I have, one that I don't think anybody ever reads. This way it gets published, and I can share it selectively.

 I feel close to all of you. I think you will appreciate it because you all have your own love story to remember. 

Here is the link to the story: Crazy Harry is Dead

Comment by Susan B on February 8, 2012 at 10:56am

Keith and I shared a love of music that spanned decades--much of it the classic 'pop' of it's era, till the Disco era, then we jumped ship, and began exploring jazz and world music. We loved all the big band (Sing Sing Sing! ) and Ken Burn's Jazz dvd collection. We were so in tune with our musical tastes, it was wonderful. We could listen for hours, and did, on trips. As we found new music to explore and love, we found a wonderful bond in it.

Classics such as Johnny Mathis and Dave Brubeck trilled us then, and continue to thrill me now. Thankfully, the music-love shared by us does not reduce me to tears, but brings a warm glow to my heart. When I hear a classic swinging hard, I crank up the volume and say, "This one's for YOU Sweetheart!!" because I remember how much peace music brought to us in the dark 'hospital days". 

Comment by itaintme on February 8, 2012 at 10:00am

@azgal1242, thanks for the link to the Enya song. Very beautiful. @Macduff, love the Morrison song, too. Music truly doth soothe the savage beast. Amazing how some days the songs are a great comfort and bring smiles and on other days the same song brings tears and we can't listen. 

Comment by itaintme on February 7, 2012 at 11:06pm

I know this isn't truly about our situation, but it states how I feel about Geoff and maybe some of you feel the same way. I wouldn't have missed the dance, even for the pain of loss. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbBDyxLepyU&feature=related

Comment by hendrixx2 on February 7, 2012 at 8:46am

@Macduff,

love that song by Morrison...

 

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