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Born in the 40s or Earlier


Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 220
Latest Activity: Dec 10

Discussion Forum

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove Oct 21. 0 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

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Comment by Macduff (Hal) on February 9, 2012 at 4:54am

I had mixed feelings about sharing the most personal and intimate story. Betty was so private and never meant anyone to read it, not even me. I broke out in tears as I had to re-read it several times while I got the formatting right to put it on the blog.

Initially I couldn't even scan it because it was typed on yellow paper and character recognition wouldn't word. So I actually had to rewrite it manually in Word. That was really hard on me.

Comment by itaintme on February 8, 2012 at 10:31am

Macduff, I've not the time to read the story right now, but I shall read it very soon. I just wanted to thank you so very much for sharing the story with us. I know that I will enjoy the story itself, but we are especially blessed to know that you feel comfortable enough to share it with us. Thank you so much.

Comment by Macduff (Hal) on February 8, 2012 at 9:38am

My wife wrote an autobiographical short story about when we met. For the past two years I kept it to myself. I believe she was an accomplished enough writer to have been published, but she was modest to a fault, and also a perfectionist, and thus she never wanted to submit anything to a magazine.

I read this short story 20 or so years ago, and it was very meaningful then. It is obviously far more so now because it is a true story of our love at first sight. It is a treasure I am so fortunate to have along with my memories. 

Because it is too long to put here I decided to put it on a blog I have, one that I don't think anybody ever reads. This way it gets published, and I can share it selectively.

 I feel close to all of you. I think you will appreciate it because you all have your own love story to remember. 

Here is the link to the story: Crazy Harry is Dead

Comment by Susan B on February 8, 2012 at 6:56am

Keith and I shared a love of music that spanned decades--much of it the classic 'pop' of it's era, till the Disco era, then we jumped ship, and began exploring jazz and world music. We loved all the big band (Sing Sing Sing! ) and Ken Burn's Jazz dvd collection. We were so in tune with our musical tastes, it was wonderful. We could listen for hours, and did, on trips. As we found new music to explore and love, we found a wonderful bond in it.

Classics such as Johnny Mathis and Dave Brubeck trilled us then, and continue to thrill me now. Thankfully, the music-love shared by us does not reduce me to tears, but brings a warm glow to my heart. When I hear a classic swinging hard, I crank up the volume and say, "This one's for YOU Sweetheart!!" because I remember how much peace music brought to us in the dark 'hospital days". 

Comment by itaintme on February 8, 2012 at 6:00am

@azgal1242, thanks for the link to the Enya song. Very beautiful. @Macduff, love the Morrison song, too. Music truly doth soothe the savage beast. Amazing how some days the songs are a great comfort and bring smiles and on other days the same song brings tears and we can't listen. 

Comment by itaintme on February 7, 2012 at 7:06pm

I know this isn't truly about our situation, but it states how I feel about Geoff and maybe some of you feel the same way. I wouldn't have missed the dance, even for the pain of loss.

Comment by hendrixx2 on February 7, 2012 at 4:46am


love that song by Morrison...

Comment by Blue Snow on February 6, 2012 at 6:06pm

I haven't even had the TV on much since my husband passed in January. It's just too hard when some little thing broadsides you with a memory.

Comment by Macduff (Hal) on February 6, 2012 at 5:08am

Betty and I played Van Morrison and Rod Stewart at our wedding. I sometimes listen to the 70s music station satellite radio in the car and they often play them. The tears start flowing the second "Moondance" starts... "can I just have one more moon dance with you my love" my heart screams out. 

Moondance sung by Van Morrison

Betty had a 1998 red Ford F150. She loved her truck. I sold it a few months ago to a friend whose car broke down for good, but before that only I drove it when I needed a truck. 

That was always difficult because I was so very aware I was touching that steering wheel she had in her hands, in the truck that her parents blasted her for buying saying it was "too big for a woman". The truck in so many way represented who she was, the intellectual tomboy. 

Comment by hendrixx2 on February 6, 2012 at 4:52am

So sorry for the pain you're feeling now, your post expresses what I have felt many times now and expresses it with great clarity for me. will I be happy again? can I ever again enjoy the common things some of us take for granted. I've been using Donna's car for the past few weeks, and at first I could not listen to the station she had it set to without breaking into tears, it reminded me too much of the many times we had been together in that car. Like you, the sadness I feel sometimes is just incredible, and slams home the fact that she is gone. I too miss the physical aspects of our lives together and am still muddled as to a suitable solution; mabey it will come for us, mabey not, I just don't know. Truly sorry you're going through this now and am praying for some peace for you. Take care of yourself and know that all here can understand what you're going through.


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