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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 220
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Discussion Forum

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove 1 hour ago. 0 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

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Comment by Barzan on March 25, 2017 at 12:33pm

Haven't had much of an opportunity to check in but want to report that I have had my total knee replaced Monday and am doing well.  The exercises are at times a killer but am pushing through.  I can hear my husband urging be on.  My mother-in-law (92) is staying with me.  She is very healthy and spry and a good task master.  My friends and family have given me additional support and am grateful. 

You all are always in my thoughts, even as I'm away from my computer.  Hope all is well.  Be blessed.

Comment by barbee on March 25, 2017 at 11:45am

I read something this week that really spoke to me about the concept of 'moving on'. I don't know who wrote it. It has been a big help to me to read and re-read this and I hope it might help you, too.  Barbee

Think not so much of 'moving on' but of moving 'forward'. And as you move forward, you ALWAYS do so with your loved one by your side, in your heart, within your very breath. They are part of you now and always. You move forward with them and continue to engage in life because of their inspiration.

Comment by Jim on March 20, 2017 at 7:55pm

Hi Faolan.  Its those small, trivial incidences that sets me back, too.  The sort of thing you'd never think was important when I dropped Mabel off at Super Supplements where she ran her errands in picking up her vitamins and supplement.  I'd sit in the car and wait...and that was all.  Thing is i drove her there so many times the thought of doing that causes a meltdown in me.  I never know when something trivial will set me back.  Surprise!!!...sad. 

Comment by Alexandra on March 20, 2017 at 7:22am

Hi All, Faolan, I'm so sorry you've lost that small but important connection with our dear hubby. It reminded me how every time I go to the grocery store and I walk by the wine department it makes me sad. The cart wants to turn down that aisle! In his last days (well, months) he could not eat solid food so he got to have all the wine he wanted ~ and he wanted a lot! We laughed together, what was it going to do, kill him? The doctors didn't think it was all that funny, but my kids did and so we had a loving and easy going time. That aisle is so bittersweet!

Comment by Faolan on March 20, 2017 at 6:41am
Yesterday I accidentally dropped my parrots ceramic water dish and it smashed into smithereens, I found myself in floods of tears as I swept up the shards, why?, because it was the last thing he bought for her. I had no qualms redecorating and redesigning my bedroom, no qualms when I cleared out his things, yet this one, small, trivial incident set me back.
Comment by Faolan on March 20, 2017 at 6:41am
Yesterday I accidentally dropped my parrots ceramic water dish and it smashed into smithereens, I found myself in floods of tears as I swept up the shards, why?, because it was the last thing he bought for her. I had no qualms redecorating and redesigning my bedroom, no qualms when I cleared out his things, yet this one, small, trivial incident set me back.
Comment by only1sue on March 20, 2017 at 2:26am

I have been away from this page because I have had computer problems.  It is a blessing to have a full service again.  I guess we all go through similar experiences with our health, our aloneness etc.  It is good we have this forum and this group to help us feel that what we are going through is normal..wellnormal for this stage of our lives anyway. 

Comment by Alexandra on March 18, 2017 at 2:02pm

Hi All, wow, it just takes one to post and then we all come out! Barbee and Elaine, I was born and raised in Seattle! Unfortunately I won't be going that far west, I'm crossing in eastern Montana. But wouldn't it be nice to meet! I am fortunate enough to be able to meet up with Jim when I pass through Fort Collins. Jim, I'm so glad you are feeling more settled.

I spent the morning clearing out stuff that I have not even looked at for the six years that I have lived in this rv (we were full time rv'ers and now it's just me) So that felt good. But still lots of memories even looking at old broker reports and out of date insurance policies! Oh well, one day at a time. 

Jim, I will be in Denver with my brother on Dave's birthday so I guess I won't be alone. I will be alone on the date of his death and I think that might be a good idea. It will be a hard day I'm sure and I don't want to have to pretend that I'm fine, if you know what I mean.

I'll probably be posting here, tho':) Hugs to all, Alexandra

Comment by Jim on March 18, 2017 at 5:18am

Hi All.  Thanks for sharing, Alexandra.  Mabel's birthday was in March .  I called my son and told him wanted to be with them.  Didn't want to be alone that day.  I knew I'd be depressed in her absence...I don't have anything inspiring to say either.  I am well and gainfully occupied.  Am taking banjo lessons and enjoying it.  Have signed up for Watercoloring Art class.  Hope to do some fishing when the warm weather comes...am grateful for new friends here in Ft. Collins.  Miss my old ones who were so supportive...Sorry I will miss you, Barbee.  Everett was an old stomping ground for me!

Comment by barbee on March 17, 2017 at 8:08pm

Alexandra, I'm a little north of Seattle. Maybe another stop when you're here in the Pacific NW?

 

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