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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 219
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Comment by Hope on March 25, 2017 at 7:50pm

I am turning 70 next week. It is also my wedding anniversary. He was the best present I could ever wish for. Alexandra, I appreciated what you said about this group as we struggle with our grief but at the same time we are dealing with what it means to grow old and often alone. I too felt young until Ken died July of 2015. Now I think about facing old age and knowing the best years are behind me. That's not to say I don't have hope for good days and there are friends and family  in my life that I love very much. Its just so bittersweet that so much of what I cherished most is behind me. I am really trying to find out who I am now. So much of my identity was wrapped up with my love and also my work. I retired 10 days before he died. We had these great plans for our golden years. Every day I wake with a certain anxiety about what I want to do with my life going forward. Do any of you feel this way? I pray for something that will ignite some passion in my life. I am believing it will come. Feelinglonely and Barzan I am thinking of you with your surgeries. May you have an easy recovery. I have been in a lot of pain the last week with sciatia in my backside and down my leg. I will likely see a doctor on Monday. I've been nursing it and taking Advil.  Where do all of you live? I live outside of Chicago in a little town called Woodstock Illinois. Blessings and prayers to all of you

Comment by Alexandra on March 25, 2017 at 6:46pm

Hi to both Barzan and Feelinglonely (and everyone), best wishes to both of you in both the surgery and the recovery. I look to this site quite often even when there is no posts. I look at your profiles and see where you are from and if you have a picture of you and maybe your loved one. I also belong to the widowed in 2016 forum, but as time goes by, I feel closer to this group because of our ages. Everyone here knows what it is like to lose that part of you AND be dealing with the issues of health and aging. I always felt young when I had Dave but now I am very aware of the passing of time and my ride of this river of life. I am closer and closer to the ocean. Not bad but still, you all understand. Thanks for being here. Hugs, Alexandra

Comment by feelinglonely on March 25, 2017 at 1:14pm

Barzan--Good for you!  I bet you are happy to have gone thru with the surgery and now you are pushing on.  I am scheduled for total hip replacement at the end of April and I am scared to death.  My husband was my rock and support--they thought of doing it without him is so painful.   This is all I think about day and night, but I have no choice--I either do the surgery or I cant walk.  Right now I am hobbling around every where I go.

Good luck Barzan with your continued recovery! 

Comment by Barzan on March 25, 2017 at 12:33pm

Haven't had much of an opportunity to check in but want to report that I have had my total knee replaced Monday and am doing well.  The exercises are at times a killer but am pushing through.  I can hear my husband urging be on.  My mother-in-law (92) is staying with me.  She is very healthy and spry and a good task master.  My friends and family have given me additional support and am grateful. 

You all are always in my thoughts, even as I'm away from my computer.  Hope all is well.  Be blessed.

Comment by barbee on March 25, 2017 at 11:45am

I read something this week that really spoke to me about the concept of 'moving on'. I don't know who wrote it. It has been a big help to me to read and re-read this and I hope it might help you, too.  Barbee

Think not so much of 'moving on' but of moving 'forward'. And as you move forward, you ALWAYS do so with your loved one by your side, in your heart, within your very breath. They are part of you now and always. You move forward with them and continue to engage in life because of their inspiration.

Comment by Jim on March 20, 2017 at 7:55pm

Hi Faolan.  Its those small, trivial incidences that sets me back, too.  The sort of thing you'd never think was important when I dropped Mabel off at Super Supplements where she ran her errands in picking up her vitamins and supplement.  I'd sit in the car and wait...and that was all.  Thing is i drove her there so many times the thought of doing that causes a meltdown in me.  I never know when something trivial will set me back.  Surprise!!!...sad. 

Comment by Alexandra on March 20, 2017 at 7:22am

Hi All, Faolan, I'm so sorry you've lost that small but important connection with our dear hubby. It reminded me how every time I go to the grocery store and I walk by the wine department it makes me sad. The cart wants to turn down that aisle! In his last days (well, months) he could not eat solid food so he got to have all the wine he wanted ~ and he wanted a lot! We laughed together, what was it going to do, kill him? The doctors didn't think it was all that funny, but my kids did and so we had a loving and easy going time. That aisle is so bittersweet!

Comment by Faolan on March 20, 2017 at 6:41am
Yesterday I accidentally dropped my parrots ceramic water dish and it smashed into smithereens, I found myself in floods of tears as I swept up the shards, why?, because it was the last thing he bought for her. I had no qualms redecorating and redesigning my bedroom, no qualms when I cleared out his things, yet this one, small, trivial incident set me back.
Comment by Faolan on March 20, 2017 at 6:41am
Yesterday I accidentally dropped my parrots ceramic water dish and it smashed into smithereens, I found myself in floods of tears as I swept up the shards, why?, because it was the last thing he bought for her. I had no qualms redecorating and redesigning my bedroom, no qualms when I cleared out his things, yet this one, small, trivial incident set me back.
Comment by only1sue on March 20, 2017 at 2:26am

I have been away from this page because I have had computer problems.  It is a blessing to have a full service again.  I guess we all go through similar experiences with our health, our aloneness etc.  It is good we have this forum and this group to help us feel that what we are going through is normal..wellnormal for this stage of our lives anyway. 

 

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