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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 220
Latest Activity: Dec 10

Discussion Forum

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove Oct 21. 0 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

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Comment by feelinglonely on April 14, 2017 at 2:57am

Thanks to everyone for your kind words.  Im so looking forward to just being able to do errands and home stuff without being in pain.  When I went to the education seminar I got quite a few of the aids--grabber, long shoe horn, sock assist, long shoe horn and a couple of others.  Ive been stocking up on stuff the past few weeks at shoprite.  I have widowed lady friends from church who have offered to pick up things for me and maybe even sleep over if I need them.  I just have to arrange for someone to pick up mail.  I was also told I could get a temporary handicap things for my car.  Im going over to the police dept today to get a form. 

Thanks again for the support--it means so much,

Comment by laurajay on April 13, 2017 at 8:46pm

 Feeling lonely/Joan

Email  me  with the actual  date of your surgery  and it would be a blessing  to pray for you. Rosary, or  petition prayer  or reading Psalms...whatever  would mean the most to you.  There is power in the Word.  Medical issues as we age bring up a lot  of concerns  especially when we are dealing with them alone!  I have been bed ridden a few times with illness   since my husband died  and I was afraid.  So I get it! 

Hope you also  consider  other  aids  for  recovery--I know   a  Grip and Grab  was essential for me to function  when I could not get around.   And thought  to hygiene needs  can be planned  for ahead  for less stress when recovering.   Here's  a link  to the Grip and Grab-   other similar  tools do not last or work as well.  Stay in touch...especially  in the next two weeks if you get scared.  Hugs! lj   https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&am...

Comment by elaine on April 13, 2017 at 7:07pm

Joan, best of luck with your surgery, good positive thoughts are with you for a speedy recovery.

Hugs, Elaine

Comment by Alexandra on April 13, 2017 at 3:57pm

Hi Joan, how blessed your aunt was that she still had her mental faculties until the end. And that she went in peace. My grandmother was the same way. She died quietly at 102, but she was bed ridden for the last few years. BUT she still had a great sense of humor it was good to laugh with her.

And best of luck on your hip surgery! Won't it be nice to be able to walk without pain! Yes, don't wait til after your surgery to come back here. We are always ready with support and encouragement. Love to you, Alexandra

Comment by barbee on April 13, 2017 at 3:35pm

Feelinglonely, I've helped a couple people through hip surgery. You probably don't need any more advice, but I'll throw in my two cents. Get a leg lifter. It costs about $15 or less at the drug store and will be invaluable in getting out of bed or putting on slippers. If you can rent a hip chair, it is well worth the money for the first month or two. The seat is high, like a bar stool, and takes the stress off of getting in/out of a chair.

We "old folks" need all the help we can get to get up and down!!! Don't wait until after your surgery to check back. Those of us here understand and can give you virtual support, which sometimes is almost as good as the other kind of moral support. Altho a mate's presence can never be replaced.

Prayers and good thoughts being sent your way...

Comment by Faolan on April 13, 2017 at 2:20pm

I hope all goes well for you, and you make a good recovery.

Comment by feelinglonely on April 13, 2017 at 2:16pm

Hi Everyone--Happy Passover and Happy Easter to all!!

Have been really busy preparing for my total hip replacement in just about 2 weeks.  Had to go for blood typing, medical clearance physical and a 2 hour educational program which was excellent, but scared me even more.  I am at the point where I just wish it was over already because I am sick of hobbling and barely able to walk.  I hate looking at myself in the mirror or in store windows when I pass by.

On April 3d, my 100 year old aunt passed.  She had all her mental functions, but her body just didnt work--she needed help with everything.  She never complained--she came down with pneumonia on the Thursday before and passed on Monday at about 2:15am.  She went in peace.  Dont know what I will do without her.  She prayed the rosary every day, several times a day.  Hope she still be praying up there the day I have my surgery,.

Jeez, I wish my hubby was here to give me the moral support that only he could give.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing OK.  Will check back after my surgery.

Hugs to all

xxx

Joan

Comment by laurajay on April 10, 2017 at 4:25pm

Faolan.  Interesting  idea  that raised  my curiosity...including  a link  if anyone else  wants  more infor. on former customs of widows  in another culture.  I know of widows  who still wear black  here in the states as part of their tradition when widowed.      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sati_(practice)

   

Comment by Alexandra on April 10, 2017 at 1:01pm

The one custom I wished to be mine when Dave died, is the custom of wailing and tearing your clothes and hair. That is exactly what I wanted to do, but could only cry:)

Comment by Faolan on April 10, 2017 at 10:36am
Was it the Hindu custom in India, called Sutee, where widows were required to lay beside their dead husband on his funeral pyre?, and in some European countries widows are expected to wear black for the rest of their live unless they remarry,
 

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