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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 226
Latest Activity: Apr 10

Discussion Forum

Joining seven weeks after my wife's death

Started by Neush. Last reply by Widow2015 Apr 7. 6 Replies

We seem to have been blessed.  We had a long (43 years) and happy marriage, jobs that we both enjoyed, two daughters and four grandchildren that live nearby, a home and neighborhood we enjoy.  We…Continue

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Summergirl Feb 28. 6 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

Joining the Club that no one wants to belong to...

Started by EarthSpirit (Carol). Last reply by EarthSpirit (Carol) Feb 27. 5 Replies

I am new to Soaring Spirits and this particular group. I find myself here as a result of my beloved husband Ralph’s passing on October 5, 2017. It seems like a lifetime ago, although only 4 months.…Continue

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Comment by Frank on April 14, 2017 at 9:15pm

Hi Elaine,

I'm sorry you have to make that decision.  I've been in your place several times first, with our kennel in Norfolk, and again with our cats while in Denver.  One lived till 16 and the other into her 20's.  After we had to put her down it was about a week and Susan walked into the office crying.  I looked up and asked what was wrong, and she said she missed our furry friends and that she thought it was time to get another pair of kittens, what do you think?  I told her that I'd been missing them all week and agreed. That evening after we closed the office we went to a shelter and found two 6 month female kittens. 

Susan passed in December 2012 and the kittens were then a couple of years old.  Now I'm "home alone" with my two Attack House Cats, and I cannot tell you how much they mean to me.  Butterscotch sleeps on my legs while I watch TV and Licorice, Susan's cat, is starting to rest in my lap (when it is available).  In the middle of the night they hold what I call "The Feline 500." One will swat the other and they are off. Leaping from the bed they chase each other down the hall, over the living room  furniture, back up the hall leap onto the bed (and me) and then down and back again when they both fall asleep as if nothing was going on. 

Each night when I go to bed "Susan's" cat Licorice stands on my chest, and then burrows under the covers, turns around and kneads me while I scratch her head.  I would swear Susan's pulling her strings.   Give yourself some time and then I'd go to the nearest shelter and find a pair of kittens and welcome them into your life.  You will never be sorry.

((((HUGS))))

Frank

Comment by elaine on April 14, 2017 at 7:23pm

I think I am shortly going to have to make the hard decision to have my cat put to sleep.  She is 19 and has had a good life, but this is really difficult.  I feel as though I am in a fog.   Dreading tomorrow.

Comment by feelinglonely on April 14, 2017 at 2:57am

Thanks to everyone for your kind words.  Im so looking forward to just being able to do errands and home stuff without being in pain.  When I went to the education seminar I got quite a few of the aids--grabber, long shoe horn, sock assist, long shoe horn and a couple of others.  Ive been stocking up on stuff the past few weeks at shoprite.  I have widowed lady friends from church who have offered to pick up things for me and maybe even sleep over if I need them.  I just have to arrange for someone to pick up mail.  I was also told I could get a temporary handicap things for my car.  Im going over to the police dept today to get a form. 

Thanks again for the support--it means so much,

Comment by laurajay on April 13, 2017 at 8:46pm

 Feeling lonely/Joan

Email  me  with the actual  date of your surgery  and it would be a blessing  to pray for you. Rosary, or  petition prayer  or reading Psalms...whatever  would mean the most to you.  There is power in the Word.  Medical issues as we age bring up a lot  of concerns  especially when we are dealing with them alone!  I have been bed ridden a few times with illness   since my husband died  and I was afraid.  So I get it! 

Hope you also  consider  other  aids  for  recovery--I know   a  Grip and Grab  was essential for me to function  when I could not get around.   And thought  to hygiene needs  can be planned  for ahead  for less stress when recovering.   Here's  a link  to the Grip and Grab-   other similar  tools do not last or work as well.  Stay in touch...especially  in the next two weeks if you get scared.  Hugs! lj   https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&am...

Comment by elaine on April 13, 2017 at 7:07pm

Joan, best of luck with your surgery, good positive thoughts are with you for a speedy recovery.

Hugs, Elaine

Comment by Alexandra on April 13, 2017 at 3:57pm

Hi Joan, how blessed your aunt was that she still had her mental faculties until the end. And that she went in peace. My grandmother was the same way. She died quietly at 102, but she was bed ridden for the last few years. BUT she still had a great sense of humor it was good to laugh with her.

And best of luck on your hip surgery! Won't it be nice to be able to walk without pain! Yes, don't wait til after your surgery to come back here. We are always ready with support and encouragement. Love to you, Alexandra

Comment by barbee on April 13, 2017 at 3:35pm

Feelinglonely, I've helped a couple people through hip surgery. You probably don't need any more advice, but I'll throw in my two cents. Get a leg lifter. It costs about $15 or less at the drug store and will be invaluable in getting out of bed or putting on slippers. If you can rent a hip chair, it is well worth the money for the first month or two. The seat is high, like a bar stool, and takes the stress off of getting in/out of a chair.

We "old folks" need all the help we can get to get up and down!!! Don't wait until after your surgery to check back. Those of us here understand and can give you virtual support, which sometimes is almost as good as the other kind of moral support. Altho a mate's presence can never be replaced.

Prayers and good thoughts being sent your way...

Comment by Faolan on April 13, 2017 at 2:20pm

I hope all goes well for you, and you make a good recovery.

Comment by feelinglonely on April 13, 2017 at 2:16pm

Hi Everyone--Happy Passover and Happy Easter to all!!

Have been really busy preparing for my total hip replacement in just about 2 weeks.  Had to go for blood typing, medical clearance physical and a 2 hour educational program which was excellent, but scared me even more.  I am at the point where I just wish it was over already because I am sick of hobbling and barely able to walk.  I hate looking at myself in the mirror or in store windows when I pass by.

On April 3d, my 100 year old aunt passed.  She had all her mental functions, but her body just didnt work--she needed help with everything.  She never complained--she came down with pneumonia on the Thursday before and passed on Monday at about 2:15am.  She went in peace.  Dont know what I will do without her.  She prayed the rosary every day, several times a day.  Hope she still be praying up there the day I have my surgery,.

Jeez, I wish my hubby was here to give me the moral support that only he could give.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing OK.  Will check back after my surgery.

Hugs to all

xxx

Joan

Comment by laurajay on April 10, 2017 at 4:25pm

Faolan.  Interesting  idea  that raised  my curiosity...including  a link  if anyone else  wants  more infor. on former customs of widows  in another culture.  I know of widows  who still wear black  here in the states as part of their tradition when widowed.      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sati_(practice)

   

 

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