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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

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Members: 239
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

Joining seven weeks after my wife's death

Started by Neush. Last reply by norm yesterday. 12 Replies

We seem to have been blessed.  We had a long (43 years) and happy marriage, jobs that we both enjoyed, two daughters and four grandchildren that live nearby, a home and neighborhood we enjoy.  We…Continue

Coping with yearning for dead husband

Started by Noelene T. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Jul 11. 18 Replies

 I am new to this group and I lost my husband of 26 years on Valentine’s Day this year. He was 85 and I am not 79. I had been married before but he had not. We had a wonderful marriage and he was the…Continue

First post - Aloha

Started by bellgamin. Last reply by Bonnie Jan 6. 8 Replies

My  first post. Aloha from Hawaii. I was born in 1930 when (as they say) dinosaurs roamed the streets of Honolulu.My wife, Imiko, & I had been married for 56 years when she died of cancer. She…Continue

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Gwamma Jan 5. 8 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by laurajay on Monday

barbee...I love   good  news.....so  happy  you got it  figured out...doctors...love em  as  they  save lives  but  medical  mixups  are very  real....specialists don't  do  group  consults so we have to  stay  on top of things etc.  as for your love life....being  a romantic ~  it's my  belief  people who were  loving caregivers  to their  spouses before  their  spouse  died....certainly  deserve  what they missed  for a long  time while they were caregiving.   Yippee~   thx  for update...moving  you down  on  the  prayer  list....lol    hugs   lj 

Comment by barbee on Sunday

LJ--thanks for caring. Yes, after over a year of struggling and getting worse we finally decided it was medication interactions. My new primary doctor discontinued one med immediately and then weaned me off the three others gradually. None were prescribed by her. All were from specialists for unrelated issues; however, each med had headaches and dizziness and double vision as possible side effects. Together they almost killed me!  I'm back home, driving again, given up the walker and cane to assist, able to read again. My guy and I have been together for four years now and he was a wonderful support through all this, helping me and keeping my kids informed.

Comment by laurajay on Saturday

barbee..how are  you and your fella  doing?  ever get medical diagnosis  for the  strangeness  you were  feeling/going through?  hope all is well       lj

Comment by barbee on Saturday

Sue -- your positive attitude will go a lo-o-o-ng way to a successful surgery and good recovery.

There might be some blessings to be found in not being able to plan the future. Relax and see what happens.

Sending prayers, positive thoughts, and (((HUGS)))

Comment by laurajay on Friday

sue-  see you mentioned  to  cee your  surgery  is scheduled  for next week. You  know you have  my continued  prayers  and you  also  have my Christian  love.  May  God's grace be upon  you  and  your  doctor(s) and staff.  Be sure  to  let  us  know  when  you  are strong  enough  for  an  update,  Keep  the  faith  and remember  you   are  a beloved  child  of God.      hugs  lj

Comment by only1sue on Friday

Cee, surgery is next week and I know  there are so many small tasks to do before then. It is hard to plan my future now as there is not a predictable outcome.  So all I can do is keep cheerful and hope for the best.

Comment by Cee on July 10, 2019 at 1:32pm

only1 Sue, how are you doing? I didn't see when you were going in for your surgery but hope all goes/went well. Hope to see you on soon.

Comment by Cee on July 10, 2019 at 1:28pm

I was reading your posts on how Dr. treat us "ex youngsters" and realized how true it is and if you have put on weight - forget it. they treat you like -why are you taking up my time. My Dr. moved and I had to get a new one, I don't know what this one expects to find but I think she is determined to find something and keeps sending me for tests even when nothing special shows up. and then when I ask for help with something, I get ignored. I have knee problems and went to several local Dr and got told nothing we can do. Finally a new podiatrist I have been seeing recommend that I go to a more Nationally known organization. So tomorrow is my first visit with them, even if they can't  fix it but can just give me something for the pain so maybe I can get back to being more active I will be happy. So wish me luck.

 HUGS to all, nice to know there is a place to go that I am not alone in how I feel.

Comment by Bonnie on June 23, 2019 at 8:08am

Laurajay, I always appreciate your insight and understanding.  This time I am very much in snyc with you.  In early July  it will be five years since my husband left and I am already feeling the darkness of continuing grief starting to settle in.  I have felt that by now I should be moving forward in more ways than I am but instead it does seem to be harder, to be more of an effort and yes, I am tired of it and there are so many days when I just want to give up.  My family and friends have been wonderful and supportive, my health for my age is good but I am like you just not the woman I used to be and I’m not sure I much like the person I am now.  I keep telling myself that I need to simply get on with it, that I am a lucky person in so many ways not least of which are the 34 years we did have together and the rich memories I have of them.  I am not just indulging in self-pity but I just feel so terribly sad, and the teaars still come and I have little or no interest in anything.  I know it is depression, but I don’t know what to do about it.   Thanks for sharing your feelings.  They do tell me that I am not alone in mine.

Comment by laurajay on June 22, 2019 at 11:31pm

You are wise and brave Sue.  Not sure  how I would react  in  your situation.  I still can't believe  how  many  unexpected  things seem to have come to be  since  widowhood  came in 2012.   .So  much harder.  So much more alone  each  year  that passes.  Tired  from  coping with so much .  I'd  always imagined my  husband to be with  me  during  adversity as we grew old together~  and I am  both  embarrassed and  afraid  going  forward  into  the  unknown.  So  different than  the  woman  I used to be...I  applaud you for your faith  and courage..  Let me know  when  you  have a specific date  for  the  surgical  procedure,  if you  can.    lj

 

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