Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Born in the 40s or Earlier

Information

Born in the 40s or Earlier

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 232
Latest Activity: Jan 6

Discussion Forum

First post - Aloha

Started by bellgamin. Last reply by Bonnie Jan 6. 8 Replies

My  first post. Aloha from Hawaii. I was born in 1930 when (as they say) dinosaurs roamed the streets of Honolulu.My wife, Imiko, & I had been married for 56 years when she died of cancer. She…Continue

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Gwamma Jan 5. 8 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

Joining seven weeks after my wife's death

Started by Neush. Last reply by sis Jan 3. 11 Replies

We seem to have been blessed.  We had a long (43 years) and happy marriage, jobs that we both enjoyed, two daughters and four grandchildren that live nearby, a home and neighborhood we enjoy.  We…Continue

Coping with yearning for dead husband

Started by Noelene T. Last reply by Sun Flower Dec 16, 2018. 11 Replies

 I am new to this group and I lost my husband of 26 years on Valentine’s Day this year. He was 85 and I am not 79. I had been married before but he had not. We had a wonderful marriage and he was the…Continue

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Born in the 40s or Earlier to add comments!

Comment by only1sue on December 25, 2018 at 11:11am

Laurajay, so sorry you are afflicted with the shingles, It is a nasty disease. My Mum had it and nerve damage afterward, hope you don't get that. Just keep warm and comfortable and time will pass. I had the vac at 70 so hopefully have avoided that.

Comment by Callie2 on December 25, 2018 at 9:50am

Oh no LJ, so sorry to hear that. My neighbor just got over it, she’s a nurse but didn’t take the vac. That seems to pop out anywhere on the body, doesn’t it? I recall my mom having it and one of my aunts had a reoccurring case. Our immune systems weaken as we get older, these things come out. Hope you feel better soon and wishing you a Merry Christmas, or at least as merry as it can be. Either way, you will remember this year. Better health in 2019!

Comment by laurajay on December 25, 2018 at 9:19am

Alone today ONLY  because  I am still suffering  with  severe case of  shingles.  Been several weeks.  Alerting  all my elderly friends  over  50  or even more over  70  in this  group... here who had chicken pox as a child.  You have the dormant  zoster virus  hiding  within you   and the  older  you get  the more  likely  it will surface  sooner  or later.  Extremely  painful  like grief with relentless  pain.  No cure - only  time.  If  you have  not gotten  the vaccine get it  now.  I abhor  unnecessary medical  "stuff"  but  believe  me...you do not want  this  disease!  It is life  changing  and living  hell.  Check  your stress  and  get  vaccinated.   Peace  to all  of you  and blessings  of health  in the new  year.    much  love  too   lj   

Comment by Cee on December 25, 2018 at 7:44am

MERRY CHRISTMAS to those that celebrate it.  HUGS for the day to others.

I wish you a peaceful day.

Comment by MFARM on December 18, 2018 at 4:08am

Noelene T , I whole hardily   agree.

Comment by Noelene T on December 17, 2018 at 1:39pm

There have been a couple of comments in here about still wearing your rings, it doesn’t matter what other people think. Why would you take off treasured rings unless you are looking for another partner. I am 79 years old and I intend to wear my rings till the day I die. Nobody could replace my husband so it is a privilege to still wear his rings. It keeps him close to me,


VOLUNTEER
Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 1, 2018 at 2:54pm

A member has requested that we create a group for those living in Assisted Living Facilities to share stories and issues specific to that lifestyle.  Here's a link to that new group:  http://widowedvillage.org/group/widowed-in-assisted-living-facilities    To post within that group you'll need to first join it by clicking on the +Join button.

Comment by Bonnie on November 29, 2018 at 8:56am

I think people are uncomfortable and don’t want to cause you any distress and so just avoid it.  I also think that most people simply live in the moment of what they are doing and aren’t thinking of anyone else’s feelings.  That seems to be more and more the case with younger people.  Even my children seem to think that I am fine now or ought to be and so never mention anything that might mean they have to be sensitive to my feelings.  When I talk about my husband as I often do with friends, they too sometimes just move on to other subjects.  I think the subject of loss and death is just too uncomfortable for most people most of the time.  They will say what is expected at the time, maybe bring food and sympathy then, but once the funeral is over, life for them just goes on and I think they think it should for you too.  I have friends who have lost children and that to me is probably the most painful of all and something one never ever gets over and find that no one wants to talk to them about their losses either.  It is sad that in our world today difficult things are just swept under the rug and we are all expected to accept just moving on.  I think the recent reports on how the two young British princes have also felt that they were not able to deal with their mother’s deaths really underscore the fact that it isn’t only here, only us, but a reality of modern society that death is denied and ignored.

Comment by Cee on November 29, 2018 at 7:37am

Noelene, I have noticed that also.  At times I feel it is a matter of out of sight out of mind.  I do have a couple of friends that will mention him and something he did, but not often.  It also is a problem that the people here are newer to us and do not have a long history to pull from.  I do hear from people where we lived in the past and that means a lot to me.

HUGS

Comment by Noelene T on November 29, 2018 at 4:15am

The thing i find hardest to come to terms with is the fact that no one mentions his name, i belong to a table tennis club and we were both members until his death, he was well liked at the club but when i am there now no one says anything about him . It is as though he never existed. I find this heartbreaking as I want him to be remembered in speech as in memory,

 

Members (232)

 
 
 

© 2019   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service