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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 234
Latest Activity: Feb 4

Discussion Forum

First post - Aloha

Started by bellgamin. Last reply by Bonnie Jan 6. 8 Replies

My  first post. Aloha from Hawaii. I was born in 1930 when (as they say) dinosaurs roamed the streets of Honolulu.My wife, Imiko, & I had been married for 56 years when she died of cancer. She…Continue

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Gwamma Jan 5. 8 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

Joining seven weeks after my wife's death

Started by Neush. Last reply by sis Jan 3. 11 Replies

We seem to have been blessed.  We had a long (43 years) and happy marriage, jobs that we both enjoyed, two daughters and four grandchildren that live nearby, a home and neighborhood we enjoy.  We…Continue

Coping with yearning for dead husband

Started by Noelene T. Last reply by Sun Flower Dec 16, 2018. 11 Replies

 I am new to this group and I lost my husband of 26 years on Valentine’s Day this year. He was 85 and I am not 79. I had been married before but he had not. We had a wonderful marriage and he was the…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by sis on January 29, 2019 at 6:28am

Tapevad, you are among many who know just what you are feeling. I, too, am 70 and I lost my husband March,2018. Toughest thing I have ever had to deal with. I went to Lowes Home Center to buy a wet/dry vac. I had been there many times with my husband, but this time I stopped in the middle of the store and realized I had no idea where anything was. I immediately had the feeling of a little girl lost and it was so intense that I will never forget it. I went on a cruise with my sisters in Nov.. We were in Grand Turk when one of the songs that speaks to me began playing. I didn't expect that, and it took my breath away. My life has totally changed and I find I'm having more problems dealing with the small, precious things than the big  adjustments. God Bless

Comment by barbee on January 28, 2019 at 9:05pm

Tapevad, you'll have a lot of company here. Many of us were in long term marriages and can share stories of meltdowns, loneliness, aging/medical difficulties, and the confusion of learning new things. It has been six years for me and is mostly easier, but sometimes there are "those days". I found a widower and we have been together almost three years. We give each other space and consideration around the special dates of our first mates. Welcome to the club none of us wanted to join. Your grief is new and fresh. Be patient and loving toward yourself. 

Comment by Faolan on January 28, 2019 at 8:24pm

Hello and welcome, I had meltdowns in shops, if they were playing certain songs on their system, so I know how you feel. I am 70 also, my husband died 5 years ago, 6 in June, and I can tell you, it does get easier. It's funny how we miss them getting under our feet, well, not funny in a humorous way, almost half a century has gone, and you are probably wondering "what next", I know I did,  We are all here for you, Be Blessed.

Comment by tapevad on January 28, 2019 at 7:17pm

Hello, new to site. Lost my husband October 18, 2018. Married 48 years and my life has forever changed. Join this site because I wanted to talk to members that I can relate too. It is so hard when you are so use to being around a spouse all day everyday. I had a meltdown at the grocery store yesterday because my husband always did the shopping and cooking. I am learning to do it all but it is hard. I am 70 years of age and love to travel and meet people. I know Joy comes from God but Happiness we can control...so I am trying to come to that place again and smile and be happy.

Comment by sweetlady on January 19, 2019 at 9:47am

I would have been 47 yrs but he died at 54 I can’t as u celebrate as I suffer in his bein gone it’s now 19 yrs he died devastatingly in Israel a nightmare maybe if I didn’t have such unhappiness with my sons or be so unhappy with myself maybe I would feel differently anyway I wish you well elaine

Comment by laurajay on January 18, 2019 at 10:39pm

Another  wedding anniversary...51st today...it has not gotten  easier  it has only changed.  I will  once again talk to him.  Light  a candle  and  share  highlights  of family news  of our  daughter, our son in law and our wonderful  grandchildren...talk about  our  beautiful  wedding so long ago...sing  to him... tell him of my ever lasting love.  whisper  our secrets...and then  feel his presence and   let it enfold me with love.   Quietly   I  will  give thanks for  our 44+ yrs  married filled  with  so much  life...I have  photos,   his  handwriting  and his recorded  voice  and they   will comfort  me...I will  long for his   touch but  not  labor  the  loss...perhaps  I'll  add to my  written  journal  a new  poem  or lyrics...Then  I  will  bide  my time  and  step  forward  again...with  a heart  content in knowing  reality  is where  we  live  now  and embracing  it  is  the  healthy,  holy  way  to heal.    lj

Comment by only1sue on December 25, 2018 at 11:11am

Laurajay, so sorry you are afflicted with the shingles, It is a nasty disease. My Mum had it and nerve damage afterward, hope you don't get that. Just keep warm and comfortable and time will pass. I had the vac at 70 so hopefully have avoided that.

Comment by Callie2 on December 25, 2018 at 9:50am

Oh no LJ, so sorry to hear that. My neighbor just got over it, she’s a nurse but didn’t take the vac. That seems to pop out anywhere on the body, doesn’t it? I recall my mom having it and one of my aunts had a reoccurring case. Our immune systems weaken as we get older, these things come out. Hope you feel better soon and wishing you a Merry Christmas, or at least as merry as it can be. Either way, you will remember this year. Better health in 2019!

Comment by laurajay on December 25, 2018 at 9:19am

Alone today ONLY  because  I am still suffering  with  severe case of  shingles.  Been several weeks.  Alerting  all my elderly friends  over  50  or even more over  70  in this  group... here who had chicken pox as a child.  You have the dormant  zoster virus  hiding  within you   and the  older  you get  the more  likely  it will surface  sooner  or later.  Extremely  painful  like grief with relentless  pain.  No cure - only  time.  If  you have  not gotten  the vaccine get it  now.  I abhor  unnecessary medical  "stuff"  but  believe  me...you do not want  this  disease!  It is life  changing  and living  hell.  Check  your stress  and  get  vaccinated.   Peace  to all  of you  and blessings  of health  in the new  year.    much  love  too   lj   

Comment by Cee on December 25, 2018 at 7:44am

MERRY CHRISTMAS to those that celebrate it.  HUGS for the day to others.

I wish you a peaceful day.

 

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