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Born in the 40s or Earlier


Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 232
Latest Activity: on Saturday

Discussion Forum

First post - Aloha

Started by bellgamin. Last reply by Bonnie Jan 6. 8 Replies

My  first post. Aloha from Hawaii. I was born in 1930 when (as they say) dinosaurs roamed the streets of Honolulu.My wife, Imiko, & I had been married for 56 years when she died of cancer. She…Continue

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Gwamma Jan 5. 8 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

Joining seven weeks after my wife's death

Started by Neush. Last reply by sis Jan 3. 11 Replies

We seem to have been blessed.  We had a long (43 years) and happy marriage, jobs that we both enjoyed, two daughters and four grandchildren that live nearby, a home and neighborhood we enjoy.  We…Continue

Coping with yearning for dead husband

Started by Noelene T. Last reply by Sun Flower Dec 16, 2018. 11 Replies

 I am new to this group and I lost my husband of 26 years on Valentine’s Day this year. He was 85 and I am not 79. I had been married before but he had not. We had a wonderful marriage and he was the…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by Bonnie on November 22, 2018 at 4:41pm

Reading all of your comments brightened my day, which was otherwise a mixed blessing.  I did have Thanksgiving dinner with my son, one grandson, niece, nephew and their children and assorted in-laws and friends.  It is a nice group, a holiday “family” we cobbled together some years ago and enjoy each year.  But underneath it all I missed my oldest son who is half a country away and my husband whose absence we all feel.  I struggled with weepiness a lot of the day, especially after I got home in the late afternoon.  I am trying not to feel hurt by the fact that I didn’t even get a phone call or a text from my daughter or her four children and they are only one hour away.  I feel that she constantly finds fault not only with me but with her brothers and my whole side of the family here and I can’t get past the hurt by saying that she is simply judgmental, critical and self-centered.  She is still my daughter and I somehow feel that it is somehow my fault without knowing why or what I did or didn’t do.  So the day had it’s very happy moments but it has also been hard to hold back tears.  I really thought that by now, four years on, I would be getting past the ripping grief and sadness and most of the time I do think I am doing better but  holidays are just hard and the anniversaries of various sorts in October and December  make it harder.  I’m grateful to all of you who share your feelings and memories and difficult moments.  It does help to understand that I am not alone, and not unusual.

Comment by Okbobbo on November 22, 2018 at 12:06pm


I once butterflied two chickens and two ducks, stacking them on top of each in the turkey fryer. They were tremendously delicious with all the fat of the ducks melted and very crispy skins. FYI.

Comment by Okbobbo on November 22, 2018 at 12:01pm

We have deep fried turkeys for years, first with propane, which can be dangerous, and now use an electric fryer that is safer. The crispness of the skin has guests fighting for It! The meat is very, very moist plus it cooks in only 57 minutes

Today my family is cooking two turkeys here at Grammyland, one after the other so there is plenty of leftovers to take home.

Best wishes to all.

Comment by Callie2 on November 22, 2018 at 9:05am

Faolan, that menu sounds absolutely delicious! I remember my grandmother cooking duck and goose, but nothing that I ate at home growing up. Sometimes it’s not the cook but the turkey that varies the results. Fresh turkeys are better than frozen IMO. I don’t make one for just myself and my son and family do not like it so every once in a while I might purchase a breast but it is pricy when it’s not during holidays. One thing is how great the house smelled with all that good stuff in the oven!

Time really goes by so quickly. My oldest grandkids are in their twenties and I don’t get to see them to often which is normal for young adults but I spent a lot of time with them as they were growing up. The last one and youngest is a 10 yr old girl who is a lot of fun. I think they will be stopping by tomorrow if they can all coordinate their busy schedules. That is what I look forward to the most!

Down south, they deep fry their turkeys. I have never tried that so I don’t know if they remain more moist than oven roasting. I think they do that outside. Maybe someone reading this is familiar?

Comment by Faolan on November 22, 2018 at 8:09am

My husband was an early riser too, we don't have Thanksgiving, but at Yuletide it has always been goose, with apple, chestnut and Sultana stuffing. He loved baking, so sausage rolls, bread etc were his forte. He made lovely Barmbrack, an Irish fruit loaf too.I hardly ever cook now, except for high feasts and holidays, it is mainly ping cuisine.We neither of us liked Turkey, just couldn't get it to turn out moist, we even tried cooking it upside down, as recommended by a restauranteur we knew. So, it's Yuletide when I come over all nostalgic.

Comment by Callie2 on November 22, 2018 at 7:55am


My husband was an early riser. By the time I got up, he already had the stuffing made ready to go into the turkey. He was so much better at it than me! I sure do miss those days. He enjoyed cooking—learned from Mom who taught her five boys how to cook, sew, wash and clean. The only stipulation was I was not allowed in the kitchen while he was doing as he believed in only one cook in the kitchen.

Of course, the holidays bring back memories, in the earlier years they are terribly painful. As time goes by, we can remember things a little differently and focus on the happier times. The yearning to return to those days never goes away completely. Nor do I miss him less!  Hope everyone enjoys the holiday and if you are blessed to be in the company of family and friends, its  got to be a good day.

Comment by Cee on November 22, 2018 at 5:33am

Good morning, made it through my sad time of the day ---, one of my husbands favorite things was when they said "LETS HAVE A PARADE"  he made sure he was up and in front of the tv when the Macys parade started. Just a simple thing like watching that makes me feel like I am still connected to him

Happy Turkey Day and hugs to all.

Comment by EarthSpirit (Carol) on November 18, 2018 at 11:45am

Faolan, thank you for your kind words and reassurance, they mean a lot. Aside from the loneliness, it’s sad to feel there’s nothing to look forward to. Like someone here wrote recently, ‘my life has no style.’ Like most, we loved the Holiday season and In 2016 spent 5 days in Washington DC. We had plans to return in Dec. 2017. I know I’ll do better this year than last (only 2 months in). Ralph would want me to put my best effort into it, and i’ll do it for him. Thank you again :-)

Comment by Faolan on November 18, 2018 at 5:34am

Carol, it is a mere 13 months into your journey, of course your grief is still very raw. We can all relate to it. Time needs to pass and take with it the edge off your pain. You have my reassurance that it Will get better, you will eventually come to terms with your fairly new state of being, and learn to live with your loss. Just let the tears come, they bring healing. Be Blessed.

Comment by EarthSpirit (Carol) on November 18, 2018 at 5:21am

Laurajay, I can relate so well to your earlier post about special occasions piling up, one after the other. I lost my husband on Oct. 5, 2017; his birthday is Oct. 10th. And today, November 18th, is what would have been our 29th anniversary. Next comes Thanksgiving, then Christmas. I’ve been so weepy the last few days...and don’t see any sign of it letting up soon. I have plans with friends through all of it, but the sadness is overwhelming when I’m alone. Peace to all here...


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