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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 224
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Discussion Forum

Joining the Club that no one wants to belong to...

Started by EarthSpirit (Carol). Last reply by EarthSpirit (Carol) Feb 8. 3 Replies

I am new to Soaring Spirits and this particular group. I find myself here as a result of my beloved husband Ralph’s passing on October 5, 2017. It seems like a lifetime ago, although only 4 months.…Continue

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by InsideLove Jan 12. 2 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

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You need to be a member of Born in the 40s or Earlier to add comments!

Comment by laurajay on February 7, 2018 at 6:17pm

EarthSpirit.   This is another place  to post your comments for the born in the 40's group.  Welcome.

Comment by laurajay on January 23, 2018 at 10:57am

Thank you Bob and James.  Days  later  my lovely roses  everywhere  look a bit  like cuttings from a  rose  garden or a funeral home depending  on your personal assessment.  LOL.  I am  finding  aging an ongoing  challenge  as abilities  dim.  It's as if the younger me has been invade by someone  much older.  Very gradual changes.  I am thrilled  at times at what  I can still accomplish on my own...at other times frustrated  over doing things  that  are "not my job" and  that  I have  to self-talk  to get them done.  Knowing  if I had  money resources  this would be a whole lot easier.  A handyman  easier  still.  A trustworthy, capable, helpful friend even better  but...

  I  have  decided  to accept the fact that one of the purposes  of still bring alive as a senior  after your beloved  has died is to serve as an example in God's Kingdom.  Keep on each day doing what you can do as little or as much  as possible-- to show  younger  folks  it can be done so they  keep hope alive  as they too grow older  Also,    more   importantly not to honor  dead  spouses  but  to honor  our Maker  with gratitude  in our daily lives.  Less  asking.  More  praising.  Very different than youthful  years with  lots of petitions, giant dreams and  boundless  energy.  It's all  good. 

I use to think  old  people were mostly  crabby,  opinionated and bossy, wrinkled ( pre botox  years  lol)  and  often  smelled funny.  Never told anyone just thought it.  I sure  can't  stop from aging  but I can  try  deterring  the symptoms as long as possible  and  literally  laughing   my way  through  the process.  I still ask God for things that are no longer  possible in this  lifetime on earth  but I can choose  to  be determined to be happy instead with every blessed surprise  that  comes my way...no matter how  small.  Embrace  it all through the tears.   Perhaps it's  time to let  the decades  of memories  of life with my husband not dwell  so heavily  in my heart  but  to  present themselves  as  light  and air  and  surround me  as ever present  love.   It might take two hands now to open new doors  but  surely  we have  the wisdom granted to those that have  lived  seven or more  decades  to strengthen us going forward.  The season for change has  arrived ...in the dead of winter Perhaps  because  true heartfelt  love  never  freezes but ever seeks  a way  to expand endlessly in present moments.  

lj

Comment by Okbobbo on January 20, 2018 at 6:27am

Congratulations, Laurajay, for keeping alive for fifty years a marriage made in Heaven and that you shared with us mere mortals. Thank you for the inspirations that I have enjoyed for the past three years, that have encouraged many of us who each day are extending the days of our marriage even as our circumstances have changed. May none of us ever lose those precious memories we each made with our beloved. Blessings and Peace.

Comment by Jim on January 20, 2018 at 4:07am

Thanks for the  yellow roses story, Laurajay!  Appreciate that very much.  We always went "out to eat" at a fine dining restaurant on our Anniversaries (never thought of it as a "tradition."), but I am so sorry when that day rolls around the calendar.  There are always happy memories associated with that day as it is also the birthday of our younger son,  he is my constant reminder of the love she had for us..  Married 58 years was not long enough.   I lapsed into my memory channels often thinking of Mabel and crying.  She was a godsend in my life.  I never imagined I would miss her so much...

Comment by laurajay on January 19, 2018 at 6:58pm

My 50th  Wedding Anniversary  comes to a close.   About  25 or 30 yrs  ago  I told my husband  that the yellow roses he brought me each year..one for every year we had been married... were  beautiful  but costly  so I suggested  he save money  each year  so when our 50th  came he'd  have  the money for 50    yellow  roses.  It  was an understanding  for years that this would happen...but  he died  after  we  reached  44yrs.

Today  my darling daughter,  the apple  of her father's  eye , came by and presented me with....yes...50  beautiful  long stemmed  yellow roses  thereby  surprising me  and  honoring her father by keeping his promise to me. It was  thoughtful  and a true sacrifice on her part.    I am blessed.  Love is eternal.  I also heard  from dear  friend  not  widowed and among  other things he told  me sharing  stories  about  loving  my husband  were inspirational  for him...I never  imagined.   Life  is trying  all the time  to surprise  us and draw us back to awareness of all things  good.    I need to remember this...   I miss him more  than ever tonight-memories  are  not  enough...but  I have gratitude  for what is...and  will count  all  as   good...       lj

Comment by only1sue on January 12, 2018 at 12:49pm

Welcome back Jan. This widowed life is hard for all of us, five years for me. Life changes and a lot is lost but somehow we cope. I already had a lot of widowed friends from church and other organisations I belonged to so plenty of people who understand my situation. I hope you can find some like minded people who will support you too. And the support on this site is a great help I find.

Comment by Jan on January 12, 2018 at 9:01am

I got on this site back in 2016 and now am just trying to return.  Had a little trouble navigating the site and just didn't have my wits about me I guess.  My husband died in 2015, and I'm still struggling with his loss.  We were married 47 years, only marriage for me.  Loneliness is a big issue I'm finding out.  Would love to meet other widowed people, as they are the ones who seem to understand this life. 

Comment by elaine on January 9, 2018 at 8:59am

Welcome back, Jim, good to have you on board again and to know you are okay.

Comment by Don on January 8, 2018 at 10:50am

Thank you LauraJay

Comment by Jim on January 8, 2018 at 5:12am

Hi Folks.  I am back.  Thanks, Don.  For your valuable contributions.  After all these years your 15 point article was helpful to me.  I am OK.  Have slowly adjusted to life in a Retirement Community here in Ft. Collins.  I still see a Grief Therapist about once a month.  She has been helpful.  What I like about her is that she remembers everything I've said, and she says she knows Mabel through my eyes and I believe her.  I tell her a lot about my deceased wife.  There is a lot to say after being married 58 years.  

 

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