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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 220
Latest Activity: 23 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove Oct 21. 0 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

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Comment by redbusybee on May 28, 2011 at 8:01am
Leslie, it will be 5 years in October that John has been gone.....and the depth of the sadness these last few weeks has almost been unbearable.   I've been blindsided again!!!   Where did this come from and why now?  I have no clue and I guess it doesn't matter.    I just walk through it knowing this is part of the journey.   When I stop and think about it I realize the time between these emotional rollercoasters is getting longer and longer.   That is encouraging in and of itself.   I encourage you in your journey......
Comment by leslie b on May 10, 2011 at 8:38am
Thanks so much for the advice and encouragement. Could you tell me the title of that book you are reading? It sounds like something I'd like to read. Again, I am grateful that you took the time to help me and look forward to talking to you again soon.
Comment by franmcq on May 10, 2011 at 8:03am
I am reading a book that describes just what is happening to you.  You don't "get over" grief and it is a part of you forever.  That is not to say you are sad and can't get on with your life.  This author calls them grief spasms that are brought on by various identifiable and unidentifiable occurrences.  There is nothing wrong with you, it is just a part of this journey that we didn't want to take.  Hang in there and the answer will come to you.  Prayers and hugs coming your way.
Comment by leslie b on May 10, 2011 at 6:36am
Wow, guys. I've had a really bad few days. I have been doing great lately and am keeping busy but just lately I feel this sadness that I can't shake. It will be three years in June since Rick passed away. Do you think it could be that? Because I have no idea where this came from. Don't get me wrong, I am still functioning and getting on with things but I cannot shake this empty feeling. Anyone have any ideas? I sure would like some advice on how to get over this.
Comment by itaintme on May 6, 2011 at 3:13am
How very true. Sometimes I think it's best not to get the hug I would so love to have because I am afraid of what my reaction would be.
Comment by Runnergirl on May 5, 2011 at 10:13pm
Besides the younger widow situation there seem to be so many more females to males which makes it even harder to have a relationship with someone. I do get so lonely at times, especially in the middle of the night.
Comment by itaintme on May 5, 2011 at 6:44pm
Leslie, like you, I think I would be open to a relationship if the right man came along. As you say, life is about taking chances. It would be a shame to miss the dance if the opportunity was there. I'm pretty sure my kids would be supportive, but it might be difficult at first. I so hear you about the younger women thing.
Comment by Runnergirl on May 3, 2011 at 10:00pm
Sue, I also agree that the anticipation is often worst than the actual day. FIve years is coming up in August but I still get together with his son and daughter and their children on their dad's birthday, Father's Day, and the anniversary of his death or at elate try if everyone is not too busy.  Since they live two hours away, often it's kind of an excuse to visit with each other. We usually meet halfway at a restaurant. It's meaningful for all of us.
Comment by leslie b on May 3, 2011 at 7:15pm
Sue, I spent most of those first anniversaries with my family. We seemed to need each other at the time. Now coming up to three years I think I may just spend this one alone just reflecting on the day. I seem to be able to get through these days now and find the anticipation of them are worse than the day itself. I like to just  spend the day thinking of my husband and maybe talking about him to my adult children. I am also grateful for the support on this site but wish we could have met under better circumstances. I'll talk to you soon. You take care and I will be thinking about you.
Comment by sue on May 3, 2011 at 6:42pm
The 18th of this month will mark the one year anniversary of my husband's diagnosis with 3-6 months to live.  I find myself looking over my shoulder and re-living each day as I can bring them all back.  Our "before" days.......I am really struggling with this anniversary date.  What does everyone do to get through these days?  I know I am isolating myself, which is a choice.  Maybe not the best one to make, but it seems the safest.  It does feel safe here and I am grateful for that.  Just wish we could have met under different circumstances. 
 

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