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Born in the 40s or Earlier


Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 234
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Discussion Forum

First post - Aloha

Started by bellgamin. Last reply by Bonnie Jan 6. 8 Replies

My  first post. Aloha from Hawaii. I was born in 1930 when (as they say) dinosaurs roamed the streets of Honolulu.My wife, Imiko, & I had been married for 56 years when she died of cancer. She…Continue

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Gwamma Jan 5. 8 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

Joining seven weeks after my wife's death

Started by Neush. Last reply by sis Jan 3. 11 Replies

We seem to have been blessed.  We had a long (43 years) and happy marriage, jobs that we both enjoyed, two daughters and four grandchildren that live nearby, a home and neighborhood we enjoy.  We…Continue

Coping with yearning for dead husband

Started by Noelene T. Last reply by Sun Flower Dec 16, 2018. 11 Replies

 I am new to this group and I lost my husband of 26 years on Valentine’s Day this year. He was 85 and I am not 79. I had been married before but he had not. We had a wonderful marriage and he was the…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by leslie b on July 26, 2011 at 7:18pm
I moved 15 months after my husband's death. I have the best of both worlds,however. My daughter and her husband bought my home and I live around the corner in a condo. I see my three grandsons almost every day and they keep me on my toes.The house was too much for me with a big backyard pool to look after and I just couldn't do it anymore. Now my grandsons swim in the pool every day in the summer and go to the same school that their mom and her brothers attended. I am very lucky. I do feel that once you move, Put143, you will feel a great weight lifted off your shoulders. It is the beginning of a new chapter in your life. It isn't one you have chosen but it is one you must step into. You will do just fine, I know it.
Comment by Susan B on July 26, 2011 at 6:34pm
Owlbert--no Falcon run, but my eldest brother arrived from Arizona to pick up Keith's riding lawn mower. He is taking it to his large property to be able to handle all the mowing that must be done every week. It took we two about three hours to figure out how to load it in the high 4x4 pickup, even though Keith (Mr Tool) had nice steel ramps. We ended up taking off the tailgate, then extending the ramps with 2x12's we had. He drove it right up and  got it tied down for his 12 hour trip home. Monday I worked after he left for home, had  a great heart-to-heart with a customer's bookkeeper, (she gave me high praise for 'doing so well') and had a lovely dinner at a friend's cafe. All in all, emotionally exhausting, but in a good way. I realized that I spent so much time reliving good memories, that once you get out of the dense fog, a daily "meditation" or whatever you'd like to call it, on not what you don't have, but on what you DO have, is  away to lever your way past the perpetual sadness. You did it by sailing. well done!
Comment by Put4143 on July 26, 2011 at 6:05pm
Thanks itaintme for the encouragement
Comment by itaintme on July 26, 2011 at 4:47pm

Put4143, I moved 8 months after my husband's accident. I couldn't stay because it was too much property for me on my own (almost 6 acres), but also it was "our" dream home and not "my" dream home. The last days in our KY home were very hard, but the move has been good overall. I'm near my daughter and her children and not far from my son. (The stepchildren & grandchildren are in England.) When I go home to KY I'm somewhat amazed at how easy it is for me to drive by the old homestead. I just remember all the wonderful times we had there and wish the new people as many years of happiness there as we had. Visiting with your family is a great idea for the transition period. I hope your move is as positive as mine has been.


Comment by Put4143 on July 26, 2011 at 3:53pm
well I am almost finished packing up the old homestead A real wrench emotionally But by the 15th of August a nice couple with 4 children will call my home their home Its one of the hardest things I have done..I wonder if any one of you have moved recently?? Ill be homeless for six weeks and have just booked a flight to Canada to visit with my family at Hawk Lake Lodge. It will be a great comfort Nana P
Comment by grandmafi on July 26, 2011 at 3:20pm
Hello again ... its only me popping in for a wee chat .....and guess what ???? the painter did turn up ...well ... I phoned to remind him and offered to pick him up and he came .... did a lovely job of the room in the Kirk and did`nt charge a penny .... would`nt even let me buy him lunch !!!.... I know what you mean about treadesmenr driving you batty itaintme ..... I had the same exoerience but was delghted with the end result..... i am having a new kitchen installed  ... work begining ti 15 th August and I am dreading it .. I so hate mess and disrtuption  I`m almost tempted to go on holiday for  week !!!!....owlbert ... once we have the Prayer room up and running Helen and I were wondering if you would maybe like to come along for awee chat as it would be good to have a male input ... not quite sure as yet what the format may be... just a gathering of widows/widowers for a coffee and chat to start off ...... what do you think ????..... would love to invite you all from this group to come for a chat too but as we are on opposite sides of the Pond we will have to make do with telling you all about it .. watch this space!!!... i was just thinking of all the acticvities that this group are involved in .. and that , given the circumstances that we find ourselves in .. I think it is pretty wonderful ..... keep on keeping on .... and telling us all about it .....keep dancing in the rain and splashing in puddles .... xx
Comment by itaintme on July 26, 2011 at 3:25am
Owlbert, glad to hear you had a couple of hours of perfect sailing. Hope it's working out as well for you today. How do those teenagers manage to sleep so long.

Grandmafi, painters are a breed apart, as Owlbert says. Apart from my late husband (a carpenter who also did painting for people). Well, he was a breed apart, but in a different way! He was reliable and timely. I just recently repainted all my rooms and my painter, though a nice man, drove me 'round the twist. He was in and out and in and out and took forever to get the job done. But the end result is lovely.
Comment by owlbert on July 26, 2011 at 12:30am

Hi "itaintme" .... Good Morning!     Or is it Good Evening?    Never mind whatever time it is let it be  'good' time.    Good to read that you had an enjoyable weekend with 'auld' acquaintances.   As you say God does help,  in His many quiet ways, to get us through bereavement.    My grandson has been up on holiday for the last couple of weeks which has kept me 'on my toes'.    We took him out with us when we went sailing and he loved it, though we couldn't go out for long ......the tide dictates when we come back in.    However we did get a couple of hours sailing in perfect conditions.

"Grandmafi" did your painter turn up?     Painters are a breed apart, and notoriously reliable!     Or should that.... be unreliable?     You, Helen, and the 'girls' are working well for your 'wee' kirk.     Our photographs turned out great, though, with having 'JB' (my grandson) here we have yet to 'work' on them.    Mentioning 'JB' has reminded me that we are going out at 10.15 and he has yet to 'surface'.   One of the many the many joys of being a teenager I suppose....staying in bed till he 'last minute'.

Comment by itaintme on July 25, 2011 at 2:37pm
put4143, my heart goes out to you, too. Alzheimer's is a dreadful disease. Our area is gearing up for our Alzheimer's walk. I plan to participate this year. Fiona, you are a brave sole, walking on hot coals. Good for you, girl. Love all the things you're venturing into. Owlbert, how was the sailing? I went to a family reunion over the weekend and had a chance to meet some relatives I've never seen and get reacquainted with some I've not seen for 40+ years! If I hadn't relocated I would not have had that opportunity. God truly does walk this walk with us and His hand is on us in myriad different ways.
Comment by grandmafi on July 25, 2011 at 1:51pm

Shalom and greetings put4143..... my heart goes out to you having to watch your husband suffer for 5 years and watch him slip away little by little alzeimers is terrible and what  along time for you  to watch it happening ..... unbearale sadness is a very apt description too one that all of us here can relate to ....... you have become involved in so many things..... a good way of coping even if it means dragging yourslef through it all at times...... yes, keeping busy is good...less time to dwell on ourselves and our sadness.... and Sue ... love the sound of your patchwork garden .... my ... reading through all the Posts we seem like a busy group ... I would like to journal a before and after at some point.... different me ... different life..... new friends met via breavement courses and voluntary work etc... I would never have believd that I could have lived without my Billy for six weeks and here I am six years and although the overwhelming sadness can still be overwhelming , I am living a very differet type of life....... a friend and I are currently renovating a room at our wee kirk to use as a quiet reflective sort of place and we are starting outr own blog too ..... Walk beside me ...... I am currently embarkig on a one-year course via my Yoga Centre... called Restoring Wholeness... all about nature and the earth , fire air and water... moon stars and the Glory of creation .... quite new Age-y but loving it ... i even did a Firewalk ( walking over hot coals in my bare feet) .... have done two of those... one for the Celtic new year and one for summer solstice..... crazy lady .... aye aye yippy ... granma is a hippy lol .......  whatever... dont care what others think ..... doing what I want/need to survive ...... have enjoyed "meeting " everyone on here and feel supported and understood by this group .......deep Peace of the running waves to you all .... Fiona...xx


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