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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 226
Latest Activity: Apr 10

Discussion Forum

Joining seven weeks after my wife's death

Started by Neush. Last reply by Widow2015 Apr 7. 6 Replies

We seem to have been blessed.  We had a long (43 years) and happy marriage, jobs that we both enjoyed, two daughters and four grandchildren that live nearby, a home and neighborhood we enjoy.  We…Continue

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Summergirl Feb 28. 6 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

Joining the Club that no one wants to belong to...

Started by EarthSpirit (Carol). Last reply by EarthSpirit (Carol) Feb 27. 5 Replies

I am new to Soaring Spirits and this particular group. I find myself here as a result of my beloved husband Ralph’s passing on October 5, 2017. It seems like a lifetime ago, although only 4 months.…Continue

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Comment by Runnergirl on May 28, 2011 at 12:52pm
I've also been blindsided lately. The sadness was been so deep and intense. Maybe by August (5 years) things will be better. It helps me to know others are dealing with the same kind of emotions and I just not weird. One day at a time and getting together with friends, when possible, helps to ease it a bit. We'll just all hang in this together. At least we don't have to be alone in this.
Comment by leslie b on May 28, 2011 at 8:25am
@redbusybee. Thanks so much for your thoughts. I do feel encouraged that these rollercoaster emotions are coming farther and farther apart. I just find sometimes that the lows I am experiencing now seem lower than at the beginning. I wonder, however, if it is just because they are farther apart and I am forgetting how low I felt at first. When I first posted my feelings back near the beginning of May I was feeling pretty low. I did come out of that period and am feeling better. I am not looking forward to this Thursday (June 2) though. That will be the third anniversary of Rick's death and it is hitting me like a ton of bricks. Sometimes anticipation of these days is worse than the actual anniversary so I am hoping that is the case.
Comment by redbusybee on May 28, 2011 at 8:01am
Leslie, it will be 5 years in October that John has been gone.....and the depth of the sadness these last few weeks has almost been unbearable.   I've been blindsided again!!!   Where did this come from and why now?  I have no clue and I guess it doesn't matter.    I just walk through it knowing this is part of the journey.   When I stop and think about it I realize the time between these emotional rollercoasters is getting longer and longer.   That is encouraging in and of itself.   I encourage you in your journey......
Comment by leslie b on May 10, 2011 at 8:38am
Thanks so much for the advice and encouragement. Could you tell me the title of that book you are reading? It sounds like something I'd like to read. Again, I am grateful that you took the time to help me and look forward to talking to you again soon.
Comment by franmcq on May 10, 2011 at 8:03am
I am reading a book that describes just what is happening to you.  You don't "get over" grief and it is a part of you forever.  That is not to say you are sad and can't get on with your life.  This author calls them grief spasms that are brought on by various identifiable and unidentifiable occurrences.  There is nothing wrong with you, it is just a part of this journey that we didn't want to take.  Hang in there and the answer will come to you.  Prayers and hugs coming your way.
Comment by leslie b on May 10, 2011 at 6:36am
Wow, guys. I've had a really bad few days. I have been doing great lately and am keeping busy but just lately I feel this sadness that I can't shake. It will be three years in June since Rick passed away. Do you think it could be that? Because I have no idea where this came from. Don't get me wrong, I am still functioning and getting on with things but I cannot shake this empty feeling. Anyone have any ideas? I sure would like some advice on how to get over this.
Comment by itaintme on May 6, 2011 at 3:13am
How very true. Sometimes I think it's best not to get the hug I would so love to have because I am afraid of what my reaction would be.
Comment by Runnergirl on May 5, 2011 at 10:13pm
Besides the younger widow situation there seem to be so many more females to males which makes it even harder to have a relationship with someone. I do get so lonely at times, especially in the middle of the night.
Comment by itaintme on May 5, 2011 at 6:44pm
Leslie, like you, I think I would be open to a relationship if the right man came along. As you say, life is about taking chances. It would be a shame to miss the dance if the opportunity was there. I'm pretty sure my kids would be supportive, but it might be difficult at first. I so hear you about the younger women thing.
Comment by Runnergirl on May 3, 2011 at 10:00pm
Sue, I also agree that the anticipation is often worst than the actual day. FIve years is coming up in August but I still get together with his son and daughter and their children on their dad's birthday, Father's Day, and the anniversary of his death or at elate try if everyone is not too busy.  Since they live two hours away, often it's kind of an excuse to visit with each other. We usually meet halfway at a restaurant. It's meaningful for all of us.
 

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