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Born in the 40s or Earlier


Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 235
Latest Activity: Mar 14

Discussion Forum

Coping with yearning for dead husband

Started by Noelene T. Last reply by tapevad Feb 25. 14 Replies

 I am new to this group and I lost my husband of 26 years on Valentine’s Day this year. He was 85 and I am not 79. I had been married before but he had not. We had a wonderful marriage and he was the…Continue

First post - Aloha

Started by bellgamin. Last reply by Bonnie Jan 6. 8 Replies

My  first post. Aloha from Hawaii. I was born in 1930 when (as they say) dinosaurs roamed the streets of Honolulu.My wife, Imiko, & I had been married for 56 years when she died of cancer. She…Continue

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Gwamma Jan 5. 8 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

Joining seven weeks after my wife's death

Started by Neush. Last reply by sis Jan 3. 11 Replies

We seem to have been blessed.  We had a long (43 years) and happy marriage, jobs that we both enjoyed, two daughters and four grandchildren that live nearby, a home and neighborhood we enjoy.  We…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by Susan B on August 3, 2011 at 8:26am

Solo traveling, especially by air, can be daunting now because of all the special rules. Add to that our anxiety of missing our mate,and we've got a possible recipe for tears.

You know what? In any airport there are literally thousands of people, just like us, frightened and insecure; the airports know this and are familiar with calming and helping "lost" passengers. This is a time to practice reaching out--these are people we will never see again, so who cares if we cry. And they are prepared to help--it's their job to be. Ask anyone from a cleaner to a shop employee to desk personnel--they will help if asked, usually with a smile. Everything from getting a boarding pass to directions or getting  lift to a far-away  gate. Just be sure to look for official airport personnel--they'll be wearing ID tags that can be seen readily.

Good luck on your trip, keep hyrdrated, and stash your favorite lifesavers in your pocket. Hope its everything you're wishing for! We'll be keeping you in our thoughts!((( hugs )))

Comment by leslie b on August 2, 2011 at 10:27am

Thanks for the advice, lvgma. I will ask for help if I need it.

I am so sorry that you had to go through all that when your husband passed. It is bad enough in itself but having to travel back home must have been so hard.

I will let everyone know how I make out on Friday. I really am looking forward to it even though I am a little nervous.

Comment by Jackie (lvgma) on August 2, 2011 at 8:22am

Leslie b-the airports are very helpful, also if you have to get to the other side ask for help- they can take you there.  Just ask for help, thts what they are there for.  Enjoy your flight and your trip.

I have been thinking the same, Danny and I were only married for 11 yrs, but we did everything together too..He left while we were on vacation, and I had to fly home alone.  Yes my son and his wife plus 2 children flew with me,but it just wasn't the same.  When we started the approach into San Diego, I just started wailing, this wasn't how it was suppose to me.  I keep telling myself, you are suppose to be by my side, not on a plane that landed earlier with your body.  My son tried to comfort me, and I knew he was at a lost.  I still have to get up and go somewhere by myself, like back to their home where all of this happened.  I do hope that soon I can get the courage up to do so- I don't want to miss out on his children growing up there are only 1 and 3. 


Comment by leslie b on August 2, 2011 at 7:37am
Thanks for the support, you two. I knew I could count on our little group to prop me up. I am still scared but I feel a little better now. I will let you know how it all turns out.
Comment by catmanor on August 2, 2011 at 7:05am
Not silly at all...those firsts are really scary. The first time I ever drove to the airport (I had always been a passenger) was to pick up my mother the night my husband died. Since the airport is an hour away through the city and it was dark...I was absolutely terrified on top of being shattered by Dennis' death. But I did it and you will too. Sometimes it helps to play the "little old lady card" know the one where you stand there and look helpless until someone asks if they can help...they don't need to know you're perfectly capable of figuring it out on your own. You'll do fine...marcy
Comment by leslie b on August 2, 2011 at 6:55am
Well, Friday is a big day for me. I will be flying up to Northern Ontario to visit my son and his family. Now I am looking forward to seeing them but that is not the primary reason that this is such a big day. It is the first time ever that I have been on a plane by myself and I do have to change planes in Toronto too. I am quite nervous about it. Some of you might be surprised how I have reached the ripe old age of 65 without ever going on a plane alone. Well, Rick and I pretty much did everything together and traveling was something I never did alone. So, wish me luck. I am quite excited but also very nervous. I just hope I figure out what I am doing in Toronto Airport. I feel a little silly actually. I shouldn't be this worried about it but I can't help it.
Comment by owlbert on August 1, 2011 at 10:04am

 'Leslie b' said,  "Hi everyone" and so do I.     For the last few days I have been busy... one of my nieces' got married in the local kirk, and I was the 'official' photographer.    This was a big change for me because I normally photograph nature... insects, flowers etc.... so people made a 'big' change!      Being as the 'models' were 'captive' I was able to get, what I think, are  some reasonable pictures.    I enjoyed the day, having been a bit apprehensive beforehand!    It's back to 'nature' again!  

    'JB' (my grandson) was up staying with me for a couple of weeks prior to the wedding so like 'Leslie b', even though 'Ivy Cottage' is quiet I do need some time to get back into my 'new' routine.     It's hard to believe but you do end up with a new 'routine' that actually works.

   Next week I am off up to Auchnagatt in the North east of Scotland where my son and his wife live with their two daughters (my grandaughters alias 'the Troops'), Hazel (13) and Catriona (10).   I am supposed to be 'in charge', but the girls 'suggest' we should go here... or there... so that's what we do.    

   In the meantime we have a nice evening 'coming away' here, so I think I'll go for a daunder "doon tae the beach".    I've discovered that it's hard work being 'Me'... I dinnae ken how Maggie put up wi' me for all those years!   

Comment by leslie b on August 1, 2011 at 6:30am
Hi everyone. I just thought I'd check in. I have been pretty busy the last two weeks. I had my aunt visiting from Montreal. We had a great two weeks and the house seems very quiet right now as she just left for home. Sounds like a few others here are having busy summers too. I think I need some down time now to get back on track. It is a long weekend here in Ontario so I think I will spend some quiet time today. Hope everyone has a good day.
Comment by Jordan on July 30, 2011 at 5:03pm

HI, here's the oddball checking in. I was catching up on your posts and thinking how busy everybody sounds. Then I realized the reason I have to catch up is because I've been a bit busy myself. I had a niece visit me from NY for a few days. Then my best friend Pat came to spend a weekend. We went to San Francisco for a meeting of the Historical Novel Society, then sat up until dawn brainstorming ideas for the time travel novel we're working on.


Next day my son and his wife showed up. We all worked at chopping into the jungle the back yard has become in the past year. My daughter-in-law helped me fit a dress we're making for my Viking costume. Then the kids left, and Pat and I indulged in a visit to the used bookstore next door to her favorite restaurant, where we had a long, pleasant meal.


The week after, another niece showed up to spend a week. She's 15 and "needs" lots of time on the computer to keep up with her friends, favorite bands, games, whatever. She went home last night. The house is empty and quiet again. Even the cats are worn out. And I have my computer back.


I need this time alone. I don't seem to tolerate being around others very well these days. I'm amazed at how many of you are thinking of dating, maybe even looking for a new special someone. I don't think I never want anyone else because no one could ever measure up to my John. I'm sure there are lots of nice men out there. It's just that I don't particularly care. Maybe it's too soon for me. But for those of you who are looking, I wish you every success and much happiness.



Comment by Put4143 on July 30, 2011 at 4:55pm
For mcduff Google OLLI at Umass Boston It's fantastic Already signed up form their 4 week course on hobbies Nana p

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