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Born in the 40s or Earlier


Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Members: 235
Latest Activity: Mar 14

Discussion Forum

Coping with yearning for dead husband

Started by Noelene T. Last reply by tapevad Feb 25. 14 Replies

 I am new to this group and I lost my husband of 26 years on Valentine’s Day this year. He was 85 and I am not 79. I had been married before but he had not. We had a wonderful marriage and he was the…Continue

First post - Aloha

Started by bellgamin. Last reply by Bonnie Jan 6. 8 Replies

My  first post. Aloha from Hawaii. I was born in 1930 when (as they say) dinosaurs roamed the streets of Honolulu.My wife, Imiko, & I had been married for 56 years when she died of cancer. She…Continue

Unfortunately finding myself here

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Gwamma Jan 5. 8 Replies

My husband died on Aug 28, unexpectedly..I have a grief counselor- her husband passed away at 47 years of marriage too and so, she traveled this path. I do have a grief group, 4 widows 1 widower.…Continue

Joining seven weeks after my wife's death

Started by Neush. Last reply by sis Jan 3. 11 Replies

We seem to have been blessed.  We had a long (43 years) and happy marriage, jobs that we both enjoyed, two daughters and four grandchildren that live nearby, a home and neighborhood we enjoy.  We…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by itaintme on July 26, 2011 at 3:25am
Owlbert, glad to hear you had a couple of hours of perfect sailing. Hope it's working out as well for you today. How do those teenagers manage to sleep so long.

Grandmafi, painters are a breed apart, as Owlbert says. Apart from my late husband (a carpenter who also did painting for people). Well, he was a breed apart, but in a different way! He was reliable and timely. I just recently repainted all my rooms and my painter, though a nice man, drove me 'round the twist. He was in and out and in and out and took forever to get the job done. But the end result is lovely.
Comment by owlbert on July 26, 2011 at 12:30am

Hi "itaintme" .... Good Morning!     Or is it Good Evening?    Never mind whatever time it is let it be  'good' time.    Good to read that you had an enjoyable weekend with 'auld' acquaintances.   As you say God does help,  in His many quiet ways, to get us through bereavement.    My grandson has been up on holiday for the last couple of weeks which has kept me 'on my toes'.    We took him out with us when we went sailing and he loved it, though we couldn't go out for long ......the tide dictates when we come back in.    However we did get a couple of hours sailing in perfect conditions.

"Grandmafi" did your painter turn up?     Painters are a breed apart, and notoriously reliable!     Or should that.... be unreliable?     You, Helen, and the 'girls' are working well for your 'wee' kirk.     Our photographs turned out great, though, with having 'JB' (my grandson) here we have yet to 'work' on them.    Mentioning 'JB' has reminded me that we are going out at 10.15 and he has yet to 'surface'.   One of the many the many joys of being a teenager I suppose....staying in bed till he 'last minute'.

Comment by itaintme on July 25, 2011 at 2:37pm
put4143, my heart goes out to you, too. Alzheimer's is a dreadful disease. Our area is gearing up for our Alzheimer's walk. I plan to participate this year. Fiona, you are a brave sole, walking on hot coals. Good for you, girl. Love all the things you're venturing into. Owlbert, how was the sailing? I went to a family reunion over the weekend and had a chance to meet some relatives I've never seen and get reacquainted with some I've not seen for 40+ years! If I hadn't relocated I would not have had that opportunity. God truly does walk this walk with us and His hand is on us in myriad different ways.
Comment by grandmafi on July 25, 2011 at 1:51pm

Shalom and greetings put4143..... my heart goes out to you having to watch your husband suffer for 5 years and watch him slip away little by little alzeimers is terrible and what  along time for you  to watch it happening ..... unbearale sadness is a very apt description too one that all of us here can relate to ....... you have become involved in so many things..... a good way of coping even if it means dragging yourslef through it all at times...... yes, keeping busy is good...less time to dwell on ourselves and our sadness.... and Sue ... love the sound of your patchwork garden .... my ... reading through all the Posts we seem like a busy group ... I would like to journal a before and after at some point.... different me ... different life..... new friends met via breavement courses and voluntary work etc... I would never have believd that I could have lived without my Billy for six weeks and here I am six years and although the overwhelming sadness can still be overwhelming , I am living a very differet type of life....... a friend and I are currently renovating a room at our wee kirk to use as a quiet reflective sort of place and we are starting outr own blog too ..... Walk beside me ...... I am currently embarkig on a one-year course via my Yoga Centre... called Restoring Wholeness... all about nature and the earth , fire air and water... moon stars and the Glory of creation .... quite new Age-y but loving it ... i even did a Firewalk ( walking over hot coals in my bare feet) .... have done two of those... one for the Celtic new year and one for summer solstice..... crazy lady .... aye aye yippy ... granma is a hippy lol .......  whatever... dont care what others think ..... doing what I want/need to survive ...... have enjoyed "meeting " everyone on here and feel supported and understood by this group .......deep Peace of the running waves to you all .... Fiona...xx

Comment by leslie b on July 24, 2011 at 4:44pm
Put4143 sounds like you are a very busy woman. Good for you. Keeping busy is very important in my opinion. Welcome to our little group here. Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Comment by Put4143 on July 24, 2011 at 4:15pm
I am a new member as of Friday great group. I lost my husband of 44 years in sep of 09 Alzheimer's and cancer what a miserable 5 years watching him slip away month by month.and then 2 years of unbearable sadness BUT I am learning to cope my hint ..especially for mcduff A few things saved my life this past year OLLI the Osher life long learning institute at u mass Boston . Olli is in every state for a small fee you can take 3 courses a semester I learned about it from a u mass prof who was in my bereavement group He took me to a brown bag lunch he was presenting on photography I was hooked and joined immediately. Took ThAi history, Boston history and digital camera This spring I took the course on the Boston harbor islands and we went to each island on the u mass boat. They have distance learning in Plymouth and Hingham. They have a theater group, as well as other groups google them!! You will meet wonderful interesting people as well and it takes your mind to a better place as well. I also have led Christian pilgrimages for 11 years. Even while feeling miserable I led a group to Spain in march and will lead another group from the cape to Israel next year. Despite feeling sorry for myself I jumped in and tried to continue to do interesting things that put me around people. My son bought Hawk Lake Lodge this spring in may I was the resident dessert cook and began to learn to fish...something I never dreamed of doing.some days I would make 3 cakes and 400 cookies I was dead beat but happy. I also got a new puppy..very reluctantly..Rosie is a doll and it makes me go out and walk with a 2 weeks I am moving from a home Hugh and I shared and raised our kids I'm petrified but it beats siting alone in a huge house full of memories fingers crossed nana p
Comment by owlbert on July 23, 2011 at 3:19pm

Hi Sue.... Glad to hear that you will be busy on Monday and I hope you did get your run out in the Falcon today.    Like you this is the first time I have ever visited a site such as WV and I am really surprised and impressed at how useful it is proving to be for me.     I have made some real silly mistakes like writing posts onto my own Profile page.    They are 'long gone' where I do not know...probably Cyber Space.     Not that I have much to 'say' but posting makes me feel 'part' of WV..... however small.

Hi All  ... I am one of those 'ower the hill'  guys in their 70's, (73) only nobody told me and I'm still climbing!     

 Like "itaintme" I take an active part in our local kirk, being on the Outreach Committee, and i enjoy doing whatever the 'girls' on the committee tell me to do.   It's like having a few  'Maggies' around again, and somehow they manage to make me feel useful.

Dating?     At my age that's history , and anyway I'd forget the 'date'.... it goes with the white hair.    I think "Grandmafi" has it about right, someone to go out walking with (would that be a 'date'), theatre and stuff like that.   Marriage is not for "Owlbert"...he's just beginning to get the hang o' cooking and baking... and has now acquired the technological knowhow to even use a 'hoover'.... Maggie would be real proud of me.

I'm off to bed ...tomorrow we are sailing, on the Firth of Forth.   It's my job to hoist the sails 'n stuff... I hope it's a braw day.     Take care all.    (Hugs all round)

Comment by Susan B on July 23, 2011 at 10:13am
thanks leslie, itaintme and Carol!
Comment by leslie b on July 23, 2011 at 6:03am
Hi Sue. Welcome to our little group. Again, it is not the best way to meet people but nonetheless we are all here for each other and that feels good. I understand what you are going through very well. My husband died 3 years ago this past June. He had a seizure three days after his retirement on December 31, 2007. Diagnosed with a brain tumour and died five months later. We worked hard all our lives and were so looking forward to retirement and so there was a long time when I felt really ripped off. Now I am building a new life for myself and it still gets hard at times. As itaintme said, it is helpful to get involved with groups. I have made some really wonderful new friends and am in the process of forming a new peer support group for widows and widowers in my area. I hope you find our little group here helpful and we are very happy to have you. Our little group seems to growing by leaps and bounds. It is good to find others in the same situation, isn't it? I wish you peace and contentment. Hope to hear from you soon.
Comment by itaintme on July 23, 2011 at 3:32am
Susan, I recommend getting involved in something and meeting new people. It's been a great help to me. I am on staff at my church and as part of our being involved in the community I am our representative for Rotary and the local business association. I can do something worthwhile and meet new people, too.

Members (235)


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