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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Born in the 40s or Earlier

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Born in the 40s or Earlier

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

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Members: 243
Latest Activity: 1 hour ago

Discussion Forum

Married 62 years

Started by phyllis. Last reply by Sleepless In Seattle Jan 8. 37 Replies

I lost my husband Barry who was 87 years old on August 27, 2019.  We were married 62 and a half years. W Although my children try to be understanding, none of them really can fathom how lost I am…Continue

Spreading Ashes in the Ocean from a Cruise Ship

Started by dolly. Last reply by dolly Dec 28, 2019. 11 Replies

Has anyone had a ceremony of spreading ashes from a cruise ship? I am thinking about doing that and wonder if there is anything I should be especially careful to consider. I am looking at Carnival…Continue

New

Started by Judyrose. Last reply by Cee Dec 25, 2019. 6 Replies

Hi I’m new to the group. I lost my husband May 29,2019 after 48 years of marriage. I keep hoping it will get easier but it’s not some days it’s worse. Some of the things I have read on here have…Continue

New

Started by Judyrose. Last reply by dolly Nov 19, 2019. 5 Replies

Hi I’m new to the group. I lost my husband May 29,2019 after 48 years of marriage. I keep hoping it will get easier but it’s not some days it’s worse. Some of the things I have read on here have…Continue

Comment Wall

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You need to be a member of Born in the 40s or Earlier to add comments!

Comment by barbee on November 10, 2019 at 6:22pm

only1sue: I read in our news that New South Wales has numerous fires, not too unlike what is happening in California. Praying that you and your family are OK and safe.

Comment by only1sue on November 2, 2019 at 9:18pm

Barbee, great idea. I want to get a few of my widowed friends together before Christmas. I think I will make it from 10am till 7pm though. I think maybe the week before Christmas.

Comment by barbee on October 28, 2019 at 1:59pm

Mrs. L, yes it was a long day. Ten widowed ladies all together came by -- some for only a little while. I was the only one who was there the whole day! It was a delightful way to meet new people and change up what might have been a very lonely day.

Comment by Mrs. L. on October 27, 2019 at 1:53pm

What a long first Thanksgiving.  From 10AM to 10PM.  I am joyful to read the rest of your message and the wonderful friends you made along the way.

Blessings

Comment by barbee on October 27, 2019 at 12:42pm

The first Thanksgiving and Christmas after Gary died were holidays that I did not want to face. We'd always had a houseful of people and I didn't want to be alone. I decided to have Thanksgiving at my house and put up a flyer at church and on my neighborhood's bulletin board inviting all widowed. I'll do the turkey and gravy -- you bring a favorite food to share. One lady arrived at 10AM because she wanted to cook her items. Another lady didn't leave until 10PM because she didn't want to go home to an empty house. All day long the ladies--it was all ladies that day--came and went. Mostly strangers, we ate and drank (a little!) and shared stories of our past Thanksgivings. A couple I had never met and have never seen since. That was six years ago.

The next year my family created what we call Our Thankful Christmas. Because we were miles apart, we picked the first weekend in November to gather. The foods filled the kitchen counters and the buffet. The dining room and its big table had Thanksgiving dishes and decorations. The living room had small tables with Christmas decor and the big tree, spilling over with presents, followed by Christmas desserts. We did that for four years.

Since then, I've met Vern and we are a couple. One year we went to California to be with his family. Another year we got together with his family in Washington. This year we expect to be alone, just the two of us because it is winter and the families are scattered across six distant states. We are now "old" and it is harder for us to travel. And that is very much OK.

Sometimes holidays are about people; sometimes about food; sometimes old traditions and sometimes new ones. My suggestion is for us to find some happiness--however and wherever we can. Even if it is for a few minutes. My prayer is each of us will find the comfort we are seeking, even if it isn't what we want.

Comment by Barzan on October 26, 2019 at 6:32pm

It’s the 8th year of me dreading holidays.  Primarily Thanksgiving.  My son will be with his wife’s family this year and my brother’s wife likes to stir up sh**.   I introduced her to my brother and for that I will always look in the mirror and ask myself “What the heck were you thinking?”  My MIL will come up to spend Thanksgiving with me.  We will go out and eat and find some craft fairs to attend over the weekend.  So, going forward, I will do what’s best for me and make me the center of my attention.  After all, it is one day that lasts only 24 hours and how important is it really.  There are people far worse of than me, no home, no family, no hope for tomorrow or serious health issues.  So I will look upon this day and feel blessed.  I had a wonderful marriage to a wonderful man and amazing memories that I will have until I take my last breath.  

I will also be here for all of you who are struggling with the holiday with the hope that I can be of some comfort and support.  I truly understand the pain because I still feel it.  It’s just not the same without them.

Hugs to all my WV family.  
Suzan

Comment by only1sue on October 26, 2019 at 2:05am

Weather heating up and I can't get cool by wearing less clothes as I have to wear the heavy pressure stockings all day and half the night. So,it is blouses and long skirts and try not to overheat. I have always loved summer somI have to find a way of keeping cool wherever I am. Take me back a decade and maybe I would make different choices. I miss my old life so much.

Comment by Frank on October 16, 2019 at 8:50pm

Hi Hope,

To start a new discussion go to "Forums" (public) and when you are there click on the word "Add"  you will then be given a blank line for you to type in the title of the discussion, and below that an empty space to you to write whatever you want to discuss.

Hope this helps...

Frank

Comment by only1sue on October 16, 2019 at 2:37pm

Hope, I am seven years out and have a mixture of craft work and charity and church work that fills my time  I belong to a Craft group, attend the old Stroke Recovery group I joined with Ray because I have good friends there. I joined a Lion's Club as Ray's driver and stayed on after he died. I am involved in a church, do some pastoral care work and help with Friday's Coffee Morning. I do a lot of things that happen once a month or every two weeks. Some weeks my week is too full and sometimes hardly anything happens and that is when I catch up with housework, do handicrafts and catch up with my friends by phone. I am still lonely and have xleepless nights but I'm doing my best to !I've a good life.

Comment by Hope on October 16, 2019 at 7:22am

So I am glad to be back at Widowed Village. I lost the love of my life in 2015. Only now do I feel some sense of equilibrium. I have struggled with anxiety and depression this past year. I don't know exactly why. I felt stronger in my third year...did a lot more entertaining and was in a reasonably good place. Now I feel like I am back to square one. I don't think about the future much but rather live in day tight compartments. I find that eases the anxiety so I try not to think ahead..

o

Perhaps someone can tell me how I post  on the discussion forum  to post a topic.

 

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