Comment

Comment by sweetlady on Saturday

I would have been 47 yrs but he died at 54 I can’t as u celebrate as I suffer in his bein gone it’s now 19 yrs he died devastatingly in Israel a nightmare maybe if I didn’t have such unhappiness with my sons or be so unhappy with myself maybe I would feel differently anyway I wish you well elaine

Comment by laurajay on Saturday

Another  wedding anniversary...51st today...it has not gotten  easier  it has only changed.  I will  once again talk to him.  Light  a candle  and  share  highlights  of family news  of our  daughter, our son in law and our wonderful  grandchildren...talk about  our  beautiful  wedding so long ago...sing  to him... tell him of my ever lasting love.  whisper  our secrets...and then  feel his presence and   let it enfold me with love.   Quietly   I  will  give thanks for  our 44+ yrs  married filled  with  so much  life...I have  photos,   his  handwriting  and his recorded  voice  and they   will comfort  me...I will  long for his   touch but  not  labor  the  loss...perhaps  I'll  add to my  written  journal  a new  poem  or lyrics...Then  I  will  bide  my time  and  step  forward  again...with  a heart  content in knowing  reality  is where  we  live  now  and embracing  it  is  the  healthy,  holy  way  to heal.    lj

Comment by only1sue on December 25, 2018 at 11:11am

Laurajay, so sorry you are afflicted with the shingles, It is a nasty disease. My Mum had it and nerve damage afterward, hope you don't get that. Just keep warm and comfortable and time will pass. I had the vac at 70 so hopefully have avoided that.

Comment by Callie2 on December 25, 2018 at 9:50am

Oh no LJ, so sorry to hear that. My neighbor just got over it, she’s a nurse but didn’t take the vac. That seems to pop out anywhere on the body, doesn’t it? I recall my mom having it and one of my aunts had a reoccurring case. Our immune systems weaken as we get older, these things come out. Hope you feel better soon and wishing you a Merry Christmas, or at least as merry as it can be. Either way, you will remember this year. Better health in 2019!

Comment by laurajay on December 25, 2018 at 9:19am

Alone today ONLY  because  I am still suffering  with  severe case of  shingles.  Been several weeks.  Alerting  all my elderly friends  over  50  or even more over  70  in this  group... here who had chicken pox as a child.  You have the dormant  zoster virus  hiding  within you   and the  older  you get  the more  likely  it will surface  sooner  or later.  Extremely  painful  like grief with relentless  pain.  No cure - only  time.  If  you have  not gotten  the vaccine get it  now.  I abhor  unnecessary medical  "stuff"  but  believe  me...you do not want  this  disease!  It is life  changing  and living  hell.  Check  your stress  and  get  vaccinated.   Peace  to all  of you  and blessings  of health  in the new  year.    much  love  too   lj   

Comment by Cee on December 25, 2018 at 7:44am

MERRY CHRISTMAS to those that celebrate it.  HUGS for the day to others.

I wish you a peaceful day.

Comment by MFARM on December 18, 2018 at 4:08am

Noelene T , I whole hardily   agree.

Comment by Noelene T on December 17, 2018 at 1:39pm

There have been a couple of comments in here about still wearing your rings, it doesn’t matter what other people think. Why would you take off treasured rings unless you are looking for another partner. I am 79 years old and I intend to wear my rings till the day I die. Nobody could replace my husband so it is a privilege to still wear his rings. It keeps him close to me,

VOLUNTEER Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 1, 2018 at 2:54pm

A member has requested that we create a group for those living in Assisted Living Facilities to share stories and issues specific to that lifestyle.  Here's a link to that new group:  http://widowedvillage.org/group/widowed-in-assisted-living-facilities    To post within that group you'll need to first join it by clicking on the +Join button.

Comment by Bonnie on November 29, 2018 at 8:56am

I think people are uncomfortable and don’t want to cause you any distress and so just avoid it.  I also think that most people simply live in the moment of what they are doing and aren’t thinking of anyone else’s feelings.  That seems to be more and more the case with younger people.  Even my children seem to think that I am fine now or ought to be and so never mention anything that might mean they have to be sensitive to my feelings.  When I talk about my husband as I often do with friends, they too sometimes just move on to other subjects.  I think the subject of loss and death is just too uncomfortable for most people most of the time.  They will say what is expected at the time, maybe bring food and sympathy then, but once the funeral is over, life for them just goes on and I think they think it should for you too.  I have friends who have lost children and that to me is probably the most painful of all and something one never ever gets over and find that no one wants to talk to them about their losses either.  It is sad that in our world today difficult things are just swept under the rug and we are all expected to accept just moving on.  I think the recent reports on how the two young British princes have also felt that they were not able to deal with their mother’s deaths really underscore the fact that it isn’t only here, only us, but a reality of modern society that death is denied and ignored.

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