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Born in the 50s

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Members: 646
Latest Activity: 20 hours ago

Discussion Forum


Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Slick yesterday. 96 Replies

Health problems after losing a spouse

Started by NoLongerInBergenJC. Last reply by Gary'swife on Wednesday. 21 Replies


Started by CarolinaHeart. Last reply by lonelyinaz Aug 18. 40 Replies


Started by Nardly. Last reply by Jerry Aug 13. 10 Replies


Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Slick Jul 26. 9 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Slick 20 hours ago

Yep , Diane that's so true....I miss his company, some things he did so easily that beat me up doing, when I'm ill....which I have somewhat been since early June I find I miss him the most....just the comfort of knowing he is with me..the little things he used to do for me ..when I didn't feel good or was just tired..I retired to be his only caregiver for over 3 years and to this day pray that he knew he was loved and not alone through his lengthy illness..

Bandit...I don't come off like that at all...I would love to be able to lean on Bill right now in many ways...even if I was usually the stronger in many ways....the emotional ways, he was the stronger physically of course...which made me feel so protected...moving forward is so hard at times...we go back and forth..we change and change some more...Enjoy your trip..we're all here for each other..may God 's peace find your heart...

Comment by Patience (Diane) 21 hours ago
Slick, I agree! I can do most of what needs doing, but miss having my husband to help. The house alone can be a lot to keep up, not to mention the yard! And my Wayne loved landscaping and gardening. I truly miss his design solutions and ideas!

Bandit, you are certainly not coming across as chauvinistic, but as a very concerned and caring person. It's very hard navigating this new life, much less navigating it without my husband. Hope you have good weather for your fishing trip!
Comment by bandit 23 hours ago

After reading the last few posts here  wise and strong people on here which dosent surprise me I dont mean to come across as a chauvinist person I respected my wifes opinion and believe women  would be better to run this country like Patience said its the little things that hurt and you miss things you can do but your wife or husband did  these little things that were not needed physically  but mentally needed as part of showing love for one another no matter how strong we are we will always miss this part in are lives and reminders will be there every day . I here a song /see a picture / have some news to share/ life is tough it only happens to other people so we thought . I am going on a fishing trip in the morning for 5 days  with my other son and 2 contractors maybe I can clear my head a little. I dont mean to wine I am pretty tough my self my daughter and other son work for me here I am their rock so I hide my feelings as they are having a terrible time with this and I try to  say the right things to help them also my wife made them lunch every day and the jokes were none stop 

Comment by Slick yesterday

Amen well put...there are so many times I am doing something that I just sit down and remember how much Bill did around the house, when I was ill how that cup of tea would just appear, carrying all the heavy grocery bags...although I can do most of doesn't mean I don't truly miss and respect what we had.

Comment by Patience (Diane) yesterday
Thank you Bandit, and we understand what you are saying! Even though I am pretty handy myself; I can work a power drill, plunge a toilet, fix a drain, I have many friends my age who cannot. They rely on their husbands! Also, there are many chores around the house that even though I can do them, my dear husband usually took care of them. And also he loved working outdoors, in the garden, puttering in the garage and his workshop. In addition to my grief over losing the love of my life, I miss so many contributions to our home that he made!
Comment by Slick yesterday

bandit ...I understand..I have read many posts from women who were always at home and really were helpless and had a lot to learn when their husband's passed...I also know widowers who are unkept, dirty clothes, can't boil water....yes it does give them so much to deal with....

I have had a terrible time making new friends..have lost all of my close ones very I am very alone....I even opened my own Meet up is a nightmare..I couldn't wait to close it ...that's just me..very  disorganized which I don't like...I have volunteered, taken classes, gone to lectures...the widows I have met have all been as bandit describes doesn't speak to me anymore because she started to rescue cats , had 17 and I wouldn;t take 2, another in our group doesn't speak to me because I had no interest in seeing a certain movie but said I would meet the group for lunch husband didn't demand I do certain things...nor am I used to doing everything someone else wants to do without ever getting the same yes I agree that making friends is very important....but I have had no luck in everything I have tried.....I have a l lot of life's experiences.....and most people don't understand half of them...

Comment by Gary'swife yesterday

@bandit - your comment about not socializing much is probably true for most of us.  As Irish lady said, it took some time to find some friends from her grief group, and I am now doing the same.  It took 2 years to finally "click" with a couple of women.   There are a few guys who go to our grief group, and really struggle with the socializing.  

When people are a couple, it is so easy to rely on our spouse to be our social support.   It takes a lot of work to develop new friends, people to do things with.  But, I think it's very beneficial to make new friends who have been widowed, and can relate.       You might check out  ""   for groups to do things with.  Good luck on your journey, and please check in here often.

Comment by bandit yesterday

Slick I should have been more clear I have read posts about concerns of repairs and financial problems  and those problems are more likely  with the old school thinking . like you my wife was a hands on person the one to call to organize things or get advise when the going gets tough the tough get going .but the ones that are not strong have more to deal with than others. 50s women are a lot less spoiled  didnt mean to throw everyone in the same pot I was feeling for the ones That were having these problems on top of there loss

Comment by Slick yesterday

bandit....not all women of the 50's are the same....I am strong, confident, independent and always have life made me who I am...there 's not enough of my life that you know that would help you understand..there are many of us here who never worked, never had children...and others who have..try  to keep an open mind...we are all different....

Comment by bandit yesterday

Thank you Irish lady and slick  Please dont take this the wrong way but after reading the many posts on here I believe that it is even a harder row to hoe for the ladies on here our  hearts are equally broken but in  50s generation the man feels responsible to make every thing all right .  I did not want my wife to work only if she wanted to  I would get upset if she did things that I thought a man should be doing . Things are different in todays world . so I believe ladies of the 50s were even dependent on there spouse .So not only the heart is broken but the whos going to fix things when there broken  what am I going to do financially . I am a self employed cabinet maker and can adjust my work load as I want and can fix just about anything so I am lucky I dont have to deal with a lot of the problems of life on top of the broken heart and as I said for many years a women is tougher than a man she has a lot more to deal with. In life when crap hits the fan after some time they  look at problems more logically than a man . that has been my experience with my wife. sorry for the rambling on just venting I dont socialize much  


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