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Born in the 50s

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Comment by Melissa 22 hours ago

Dearest riet, I have been thinking of you these last few days. I knew the anniversary was near but wasn't sure which day.

It's a hard day. It's also a testament to our strength when we realize we've lived a year without our Beloved. I remember living literally moment to moment those first days and weeks. If you'd told me I'd make it a year, I wouldn't have believed you. And here we are. Broken, bruised, 1/3 of what we used to be. But we are here. 

You're right. The glorious life is gone, but the sounds of spring keep coming.

I am not a religious person, but whether or not one believes that the resurrection story is factual, it is a beautiful truth. Everyone dies, but also continues to live through our love and memories and our stories about them. We still see them in the birds of spring, and in our children's eyes.

I believe also that we will see our Beloved again when it is our time.

I wish you peace and love on this day, and I am so happy you are here with us to share it. All my love.

Comment by Barzan yesterday

Dear Riet,  wishing you a peaceful day with warm memories to wrap yourself in.  Anniversaries and holidays get a little less painful as the years pass.  I’m heading towards our wedding anniversary in 3 weeks.

 Hugs, Suzan

Comment by LP yesterday

HI Riet

i wish you a peaceful day and happy memories. Hang onto those. And be kind to yourself. We know how hard the anniversary is. But you made it through 



Comment by riet yesterday

Dear Susan,

A lot of hugs for you too.  I will think of you tomorrow. And to all our companions. Thanks so much for your support. It helped me so much .

Comment by booktime (Susan) yesterday

Riet, you are so eloquent and really gather so many good thoughts.  You are strong, stronger than you know.

The first of everything is the hardest. And some stay a little hard through the years but change at the same time.

I have been thinking of my upcoming retirement and I am realizing that I have not had a break since Ed died. Oh I had short little vacations here and there, work always present in my mind. I worked as Ed was dying! I guess not believing it. I am grateful always that I was with him.

But what is occurring to me is that this will be the first time I really face me, the me without Ed. I think I am doing fine, I have discovered my new normal.

I suspect though, once I am no longer working, I will be going through unchartered territory again.

Anyway, Riet, have a good Easter. I will go to church and then be alone the rest of the day. Fortunately for me Easter does not hold many Ed memories.


Comment by riet yesterday

One year ago, on this day, my dear husband died. And five years ago, also on this day, we discovered the terrible disease he had. From then on our lives have changed completely and became difficult. But we were still together. What a difference with this last year. It is true what is sometimes said here: my life died with him.
I have a lot to live for: our children, grandchildren, family, dear friends. And I also enjoy it. But two-thirds is gone: the he, the we. Only the me is still there. The glorious life is gone.
I am very grateful for the beautiful life I had with him. I had the best thing I could dream of. From the first moment I knew everything was right. He and I together, that was how it should be.
I am very grateful that I can tell this again here. Time and again. I am also very grateful to everyone who does not abandon me.  Since yesterday, lovely people have come to chat with me. Today I can expect a few more.
And tomorrow: Easter. The first Easter without him. We always made a great party out of it. Searching for eggs, a meal in the garden together with the whole family.
He was so looking forward to it every year. This morning the cuckoo again turned up here. Another sound of spring. I see my husband listening and making a sign that we have to be quiet to hear the bird properly. And now: all this without him. I still can't comprehend it. And it hurts so very much. He just has to be here now.
Dear friends, I hope you  can all  enjoy a very nice weekend surrounded by loved ones. Even though the "one" is no longer with us.

Comment by chef (John) on April 13, 2019 at 11:16am

Belated birthday wishes, Suzan.

(I still have the cards Judith gave me over the years.)


Comment by Tess on April 12, 2019 at 11:43am

Barzan, I hope you are having a nice birthday, though I wish your beloved was sharing the day with you. My husband also wrote wonderful, sweet things in my cards. He also chose them so carefully that I would feel put to shame in how rapidly I would pick out greeting cards.

Reflect on the loving notes today. How wonderful it is that you kept them!

Comment by Melissa on April 12, 2019 at 11:32am

Gilbert used to call his birthday The International Day of Joy and Revelry. He had a whole story he would tell, beginning with celebrations as the dawn broke in Far Off Samoa and not ending until it was midnight in Paris. The man could tell a story!

Happy Birthday, Suzan. Reread the cards and remember how much you are loved.

Ultra2015, Sandi sounds wonderful! Birthdays are a lonely time, but you have some wonderful memories. I hope they bring you some comfort during Sandi's Birthday Season.  


Comment by Ultra2015 on April 12, 2019 at 8:36am

My Sandi’s Birthday is April 28th but she loved it so much she celebrated all month. We called it her Birthday Season. She could never understand why people didn’t like their birthday. It’s the day you came into this world and she got such joy from her family and friends. When the kids were younger she would get them a card and thier favorite candy bar on their HALF BIRTHDAY!!!  I miss the joy she got from celebrating all month. She would have an extra chocolate or martini and shop for a new purse or little trinkets. Anything to just mark another day in the season. This is the second birthday without her. I miss the joy she shared. It’s a lonely time. I just miss her. 

Thank you all for sharing. 


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