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Born in the 50s

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Members: 639
Latest Activity: on Tuesday

Discussion Forum

TRAVELING ALONE?

Started by CarolinaHeart. Last reply by lonelyinaz Aug 18. 40 Replies

Dating

Started by Nardly. Last reply by Jerry Aug 13. 10 Replies

DATING?

Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Rockon Aug 3. 89 Replies

MOVING?

Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Slick Jul 26. 9 Replies

Retire? Or Not?

Started by Pointbass. Last reply by Hope Jul 14. 15 Replies

Comment Wall

Comment

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Comment by irishlady on Tuesday

SweetMelissa...Name fits..you are sweet. I did a trial stay over the other weekend at his place and all went well. Animals all got along, which was a major concern. It was very easy living there. I have a few financial obligations that are keeping me here till October at least. I know the right decision will come to me sooner or later. I go by this one rule since my husband died 3+ years ago. I take it one hour and one day at a time. try not to look too far ahead. I know it is not easy with a move. I think the thought of the actual move and all the work involved is some of what is holding me back. I am the type person that is happy in their little rut. working on that. I'll keep you posted. Thank you so much for your kind words.

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on Tuesday

Hi Irishlady,

I hope you have decided to move in w/your son. It sounds like the two of you have common traits as well as interests. You also mentioned a discussion about deal breakers w/out noting any issues. Sounds like everything is "GOOD" as well as a "GO"!

My niece moved in w/me 2 years ago when I was 7 years out, I was ready then. We are very much alike! YAY! --Unlike her mother, my sister Miss Snotty Potty. We have a schedule for meal preparations, chores, etc to avoid daily discussions of who does what. As luck would have it, she does most of the cleaning, (YAY!) grocery shopping (YAY!) & miscellaneous chores (YAY!). I take care of the bills, major repairs & take out meals.

Don't worry about your daughter! Parents married, single or widowed figure out how to raise their children w/out help from their own parents. This is about your daily well being -YES? If so, then "GO"!

I wish you the luck of the Irish! 

Comment by lizbeth4 on Monday

Thanks Slick.   My Mother is doing better.  I called my Cousin and all of my Aunt's children are gathered around her.  I don't know how long she will linger?   My Grandmother lingered 7 days in a coma before she passed.  My Aunt lost her Husband 2 years ago after over 60 years of marriage and had to go into a rest home because of her Parkinson's.   She hasn't been very happy.  It has been hard for her.  I am wishing her peace soon!!

Comment by Slick on Monday

lizbeth so sorry you and your mom are going through yet another loss.....asking God to send you both all of His peace.

Comment by lizbeth4 on Sunday

Sad news.  My Mother's Sister (my Aunt) is in a coma and is now in hospice.   She is not expected to live long.   She is my Mom's last sibling.   I spent last night with my Mom comforting her.   She seems a little better today as she talked about all the things that she and her Sister (oldest) did together. She is in a different state but my Mom and her talked every week.  My Mom is too frail to travel.   This has made me appreciate my Mother even more.   I have more friends than family members in my life.  I consider them my family.   Family doesn't have to be blood.   I think that most of us at this age have experience multiple deaths.  I lost 5 family members in one year ranging from the age of 20 to 77 years old.   We just go on and try to make the best of our lives.   I want to live the rest of my life in happiness.   I'm not saying that we forget our loved ones.  It's up to us how we want to live our journey!

Comment by Slick on Sunday

OH no, no , no ..Maggie ..you haven't said anything to offend me...yes we should all get it....not everyone gets multiple losses....especially when there are many and they're deaths other then some that we anticipate....there is a big difference in many of us...as you said you moved with your sister..my only sister passed away at 51...so I don't have many, many of what seems like small options that many here have...yes we have all lost out husbands...and that is horrible in itself...the loneliness is so intense sometimes that we just have to gasp and I would never say anyone makes up for that loss ......but many have moved or done different things with family and friends that I don't have anymore....I didn't want to say anything else off of the multiple loss group...because it's not always understood...that to have no one is in itself somewhat different...I would love to move...I will be going alone and have no idea where to go..I am happy for those who have been able to and are not alone .....no Maggie you have said nothing wrong...Peace....and prayers for that anxiety to die down eventually...

Comment by Maggie on Sunday
Gee Slick, I'm sorry if I said something to make you feel that way about not being understood. I feel we all "get it" as we are widows and have experienced great loss and change in our lives. I was simply expressing that I moved too, as many of you did or are contemplating and also how difficult it is to make new friends as we get older. And I envy all of you that do have children that you have in your lives in some way of your choosing.
Comment by Slick on Saturday

Maggie I am happy for you and your sister..I can't say anything else , it appears that I am not understood in this group...more so in the multiple loss group....I wish you happiness and peace..

Comment by Maggie on Saturday
I just have to chime in here even though I don't post much and usually not here, but I can relate so to all this. I have no children and have also moved. My hubby died three years ago and it has been a difficult journey. I too find earlier on I tried many many activities, and I took a few great trips with my brother and SIL. I tried to keep very busy, so as not to go insane with grief and anxiety. I lost a couple of friends in the process due to their lack of compassion. The hardest thing I deal with is the extreme anxiety I still have about being lonely. So I now have moved with my divorced sister to another state where the climate is more suitable. I had to leave a too big of a home, bad memories and death of my husband. I am fairly happy with my move and love my new home that we share and the area....But it isn't a cure all by any means. I still long for my husband and the future we will never have..it is very hard to make new good friends. Everyone seems to have history with other people and I'm a newbie. My parents too are all gone and I'm not close to any cousins and although I have two stepsons, it was not a close, although amiable, relationship even with their father.
Comment by Slick on Saturday

irishlady , bless you....it is so different for all of us....I am a member of the multiple loss group and thank God I am...they get it....your life sounds so close to mine.....I have a lot of contact with my two daughters and grandchildren which is good...but I so desperately want a life of my own...with someone my age...to do different things I want to do...my kids do include me in almost everything they do..especially ly oldest with the teens..we had plans to go away next week together as we've done since before Bill passed...I can't afford the large house I used to rent for all of us...now it's come to a small condo and with 2 teens and my one year old grandson ..my oldest decided to rent her own place...it would have been awkward, if the baby gets up from teething my youngest would feel bad waking everyone up, not that we would care, and my oldest feels bad if the teens are giggling and wake the baby up....I decided not to go.......I;m not up to it...my deceased daughter's 19th aninversary is Friday and I am really in a funk this year..so I am going to stay at my oldest daughter's house and pet sit to save her the money....she is in the midst of a horrible divorce...I think I do so much for them and then there is no fun....that I feel all I do is work ...I;m too young and it's dragging me down..I need my own friends...I also live in an area where people don't want to be bothered..have been ditched by all of Bill's and my old friends..of course my closest girlfriends have all passed....and I have tried everything I can come up with...maybe I ;m not ready...God does things for us in his time...being a part of our children's lives I feel is the way it should be ....BUT everyone is different...I just am at a point after being alone for so long that I feel I need more....yes I have met many of those who are only out for themselves and those who get mad and drop you if you don't want to see a movie they want to see....no compromise there...:) ....it is very hard....I wish you the best on your journey.......thank you for uplifting me today...I really needed it..this week is going to be one of my hardest...PEACE

 

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