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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Born in the 50s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to widville@gmail.com.

Patience (Diane) is the group greeter.

Members: 555
Latest Activity: 13 hours ago

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Comment by Slick yesterday

ellatrice....the fog seems to lift and reality hits going into the second year for most of us ....not all....people really need to SHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!...it's no ones place to tell you how to grieve or to put more pressure on any of us then we already have....no rights and no wrongs here...your way....you are very vulnerable...I still am after 4+ years....very sensitive...being vulnerable we need to protect ourselves from any other hurts..right now...we need out live to be simple, happy, peaceful.......one day at a time..sometimes one minute at a time....cry when you have to ....and grab a smile when you can....PEACE

Comment by ellatrice yesterday

Hello,

I just wanted to make my presence here in this group.  My second year began on April 17th.  What I am struggling with is the people around me who think I should have moved on after a 42 year marriage.  I am still very tired and the grieving is much deeper.  The fog has lifted for me as well, and I feel very tender and vulnerable. Thank you all for sharing your pain.  I feel validated in my experience.

Comment by Tish yesterday

First of all, thank you for helping me realize that I am not alone. This is my first time posting with Widowed Village.  The second year of my widowhood began on April 23rd of this year. Yes, as CarLady wrote,  the fog has lifted. Here we go folks! This is no joke. This IS your life! So the mourning and some anger get all mixed up in my head. Now my adult daughter walks on eggshells,  thinking that I am going to die unexpectedly,  as her father did. I cannot guarantee her anything. One day at a time sweet daughter. This second year has had it's own challenges.  I went from being married at 18 in 1969, to widowhood in 2014 in the blink of an eye. As my other daughter tells me , "Baby Steps, Mom"! "You're doing the best that you can" !! Thanks for letting me share ♥

Comment by CarLady yesterday
I feel the same, the second year has been much more difficult. The haze and numbness is gone and the full realization of who and what we have lost hits home. Trying to mow the lawn and tackle maintenance chores I never thought I'd have to worry about sis daunting, and I hate asking for help. I'm still working full time mostly for the support from long time friends but can't focus on my career so I don't know how long I can keep this up. You are not alone!
Comment by Slick yesterday

I actually was shocked the second year at how much worse I felt ..I thought I was dying from the heartache the second year...no one warned me..told me anything..as many grief groups that I went to ..it was never mentioned ....when I joined here I listened to a lot of people say....that they felt the same way...live and learn everyday...sometimes we feel strong...I did a couple of weeks ago..thought I had made it....no I haven't ...not yet...I have been falling apart at the drop of a hat...yep it still hurts as bad..it's not as frequent...

Comment by Lakegirl33 yesterday
Marilyn, I think that's because well meaning people say to us ....oh the first, x y z. So we are ready to " get they them" we are not prepared for all the rest......
Comment by Marilyn yesterday

Thanks Slick and Lakegirl33 for your help.  I think I was so focused on getting through the first year that I set myself up for a fall thinking that the second year would really be easier.  This place is truly a Godsend. ((HUGS)) to you both!

Comment by Lakegirl33 yesterday
Dear Marilyn, slick says it so well. 17 1/2 months here. Together since 1972. Our anniversary would have been, ! Is this Thursday . Would have been 38 years. I think we all feel robbed of the future that we had planned and hoped for. I feel lonely with everyone accept other widows/widowers....odd. I also have a mini meltdown whenever I come home from time with my kids.....I think this second year is worse in many ways, yet, I know I am getting by.... We seem to, get by. One step at a time, find the little joy in anything you can. We are lonely, but not totally alone. Marilyn, come here often. It gives me strength to know others here get it. Hugs to you...
Comment by Slick yesterday

Marilyn....one minute at a time sometimes...I am so sorry....I also feel lonely with my kids around.....and after spending a day with them...when all are gone I suffer badly the next day or two....things are a better and somewhat easier after more then 4 years but still not easy...I am still half a person...come here often, keep busy, cry when you have to cry, smile when you can...always remember there are no rights and wrongs when it comes to grief...you are at one of the hardest times I remember going though.....God be with you....and being you all His peace.....HUGS

Comment by Marilyn yesterday

My sweet Dave has been gone13 months now. How do you cope with the loneliness?  I still miss having him to go with me for little things like grocery shopping. I feel lonely with my kids around.  40 years is a long time to go from us and we to just me.  I don't like it!  How do I do this?

 

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