A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
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Welcome to this group's coordinator: Patience (Diane)
Latest Activity: 16 minutes ago
Here's a link to the Forum discussion with "positive" quotes, photos, links, etc.
Thanks Leendah, I am not brave enough to do that, but one day I will! I don't have the closure I need yet. But it will come....I can't imagine being as close to someone as we were. All the things we went through and survived and overcame...all the joys too. But I want to have someone in my life again.
Janey, I actually went on match.com - can't believe it I did it but I came to a point where I could not physically sit at home almost every night alone anymore and not have some connection with a male companion (not talking physical). Sorry if I am weak but I'm glad I did it, as I know a little bit more about dating in the year 2015........I was lucky and the only guy I agreed to meet ended up to be an alright person. We still communicate and enjoy time together. But there are some real phonies on match.com so watch out if any of you are on there. And I think trust is a big issue even with some of the friends after Tom died........they say one thing and mean another!
I joined Widows wear Stilletos...meet up group....and 25 women were supposed to be there for lunch..and only 2 of us showed up.....sorry...I didn't think it was run really well....not sure how the woman who runs it is as a writer....
Hi Leendah, I totally understand your need to talk about your late husband. I was the same way, but afraid to. I went to a grief support group and found out this is all normal and that I should do it! Took a huge weight off my shoulder. I didn't want to make anyone sad, but I just needed that comfort of remembering him. I also was married over 30 years. I have been one on date and it was a disaster! I felt so good about even going out with someone and then he turned out to be a jerk. But I haven't given up. I just am scared and don't know how to meet someone. Trust is such a big issue too. You are not alone!
thanks for the comment Dave, my problem is trust - how can I trust a "new" person in my life - I knew my husband for 30 years! and there's times I want to mention Tom but this one guy I went out with looked at me like "why are you talking about him?" (Because he was a huge part of my life!). I don't think there will be anybody after him that will understand I need to still talk about him and a shared experience........I'm not bringing up any negativity just something good that happened.........I guess they just don't know what to say but "oh Yeah" is good enough.
Hugs Leendah, dating at our age even without the loss is a trial. As someone said you have to kiss a lot of toads to find a prince. That said, I think us humans in general need love and closeness. At least I know I do. There are some books recommended to me by other's here on the site to help understand "reentry" and what it might entail, like having a good heat shield. The women who does the site Widows wear Stilletos, Carol Brody Fleet (sp) wrote Happily Even After. That's a good one. Also "Getting naked Again" by Judith Sills is good.
Dave55, I also have attacked winter by doing meetup hikes and snowshoeing. It helps but boy this winter is getting VERY old.
Dave55. You go, girl! You're way of not letting the bad weather beat you is great. Squirrel brain is a good term for all the foginess, forgetfulness, emptiness, stupid thoughts, etc..........
I've been reading and reading....my heart is with all of you..I just passed 4 years last Sunday...and it being my middle daughter's birthday...( she passed 17 1/2 years ago at 21) ....it's a tough one....dave55....I agree..I;m the same....I can't do the sitting in ..or it's all worse...so hard to get out in this mess sometimes especially if your body isn't what it used to be...I just went out and swept and salted a little...my son-in-law did the heavy stuff earlier...but it made me feel good to move and get a little fresh cold air.....Peace to all...
Hugs all, Angelina, I decided I needed to get outside and not be trapped in by the weather, so I've gotten snowshoes and cross-country skis and micro-spikes and joined many meetup groups doing those activities. Helps clear the head and get out the ya-ya's and my friend calls them. Otherwise I would get squirrel brain for sure like I did in the first several months. Sometimes it's hard to push but it worked for me. Heading towards month 8 in a bit more than 2 weeks (3/23).
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