Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Born in the 50s

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Patience (Diane) is the group greeter.

Members: 541
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

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Comment by Veronica 2 hours ago
Just.me, I understand what you are going through. Even my sisters have stopped calling me very often. I wonder if it's "survivor guilt ". I kind of represent their worst nightmare. I spend a lot of time with my adult daughters and keep busy with volunteer work and going to the gym. I've tried some things "out of my comfort zone" like a philosophy meet up group and Reiki. I have met 2 other widows at a grief group and the three of us go out to,supper every week. I guess it is all part of making different lives for ourselves. I just wish this hadn't happened to any of us and we could have our old lives back
Comment by Just.me 2 hours ago
I'm struggling tonight, just trying to understand why friends, family, church family and all...seem to just drop out of sight after a few weeks or months. I know it's common. I understand that some people don't know what to say, other married couples don't want to be reminded of our fragility, but why do inlaws Forget us? One widowed sister in law calls me occasionally thank God, but the many other brother and sister in laws, nieces, nephews, step children etc... Have just faded away. we were all so close in the past. How can this be? It feels like I've lost many loved ones, not just my husband. How do you all feel about this? Did it happen to you too?
Comment by Slick 9 hours ago

I agree.....I just had everything shredded.....all I kept was his birth certificate, out marriage license and his death certificate....(

Comment by Patience (Diane) 10 hours ago
Agree - don't need to save it.
Comment by Diane 10 hours ago

My insurance has everything (including for my dead husband since I carry the same insurance) available online going back years and years.  Have you checked that?

But I don't see the reason for keeping it if tax documentation is not necessary and all balances have been reduced to zero.  I chucked a bunch of that stuff for myself, my husband and my parents when I moved.

Comment by BergenJC 11 hours ago

This is for everyone who dealt with a spouse's illness.

I've been going through papers in an effort to try and get my home office cleaned up.  I have tons of insurance paperwork from my husband's illness and I don't know whether to keep it or not.  I did not declare medical expenses on my taxes because I was fortunate enough to have great insurance and so wasn't billed for much.

Is there any reason I should keep this stuff?  Or can I just shred it?  I am going to move in 6 months to a year and I don't want to keep a bunch of stuff I don't need.

Comment by cmllips yesterday

BergenJC, I started calling out "Honey, I'm Home." when walking in the door. Makes the silence a little less noisy. Just waiting for the time I hear "Where the Hell have you been?'

Got my grandkids too this weekend. Nothing like noise to make the night go a little faster. LOL. 3,4 & 8. Squabbles and laughter.

My daughters and I decided not to long after Doug died that we would make quilts out of his clothes. I love the lap quilts you had made Virginia. And the you tube video of the jean circle quilt is awesome Sheri. I might do a couple of those too. But for my son and son-n-law and grandson I'll use the whole jean seam and all, maybe a few pockets with a heavy flannel backing so they can be used at hunting camp.

Its is so funny that a lot of us think on the same lines. Quilts, Rock-n-Roll, calling out to our loved ones upon arriving home. Guess we haven't gone insane from the grief after all.   HUGS to all.   Brenda

Comment by BergenJC yesterday

@longwalks:  Try greeting your husband as you used to when you walk into the house.  I'll bet you'll hear him in your mind greeting you back.  I've been doing it for a year and a half, and it does help.

Comment by Colleen yesterday
long walks...I know the feeling...Frank and I Loved our times together...I get what your saying as we said the same things to each many,many times...I miss us finishing each other sentences,miss him cracking me up...His Laugh,Smile,Hugs and kisses...
Comment by sheri_baby yesterday

I know what you mean I hate going into my empty house. I just want to cry too Longwalks..    I love the quilt idea too. My husband had over 100 t shirts. I plan on making lap quilts for each of the grandkids, daughters and me. He also had lots of jeans. I am making a table runner right now with them. Here is a u tube showing how. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_hKEDmxQwM I am using some of his dress shirts to put in the centers.

 

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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

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