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Born in the 50s

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Members: 674
Latest Activity: 20 minutes ago

Discussion Forum

in-laws of deceased husband

Started by Prissy. Last reply by Gaining Strength 17 hours ago. 3 Replies


Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Seashell Jun 21. 12 Replies


Started by CarolinaHeart. Last reply by Prissy Apr 23. 52 Replies

Retire? Or Not?

Started by Pointbass. Last reply by Susan Apr 8. 22 Replies


Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Patience (Diane) Oct 18, 2016. 103 Replies

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Born in the 50s to add comments!

Comment by Barzan 20 minutes ago

Susan - I retired 2 years ago and find things to do everyday.  Like Athena, I volunteer and travel.  I also have a home grown business that keeps me busy.  If you can afford to do it, I strongly recommend it.  But, if you love your job, keep at it.  After my husband passed, I made a career move that had me very busy and in DC some of the time.  It was cathartic at the time.  I knew when retirement was the right choice.  We are all different.

Athena, I also retired from DH but likely not the one  you are referring to.

Comment by Athena53 1 hour ago

You may not need to over-think it, Susan.  I retired one week after I called DH and said, "I think I'm going to quit my job on Monday".  Finding things to do was not an issue.  I signed up for a Geology class at the local community college,  (I got an A.)  Volunteer opportunities can totally take over your life if you let them. I have a French discussion group every other week that I found on  I can now spend an entire afternoon at the blood bank once a month to donate platelets.  The house and the garden have never looked better.  And yes, I travel.

If you have a lot of interests, and crafting is a good start, you'll find a way to enjoy retirement!

Comment by booktime (Susan) 1 hour ago

I met with my financial advisor this week to plan for the future. He asked me what I would like to do in retirement. I kind of gulped: travel? yes do some more crafts? yes. That doesn't seem like enough to keep me busy. I guess I'll work a few more years and seriously consider this question!

Comment by marybarcelos 17 hours ago

Walter and I used to read a lot.  That is one thing I have had a hard time to get back to.  My concentration is still off and so hard to relax and read.  Hopefully I will get that back again.  Looking forward to retiring, I think, working does keep my mind from being on too much and balances me. Retiring sounds so good too, work on my yard and read.  The children are all grown. 1 in New York, 1 Colorado, 1 in Brazil. and the one who lives near me, used to live with me and it was so bad, i had to ask them to leave. His wife can't stand me and so I won't be seeing that granddaughter much.  My son is weak, anyway it is lonely.  Everyone is always very busy.  My brother and Sister live 4 hours away, they have been great, but i can go see them on holidays.

Comment by marybarcelos 17 hours ago

I haven't been on in awhile but have enjoyed reading everyone input and struggles.  July 7th will be 3 years since my husband passed.  He son in law just passed away last week.  It's been sad. My heart goes out to his daughter.  Walter was a fantastic dancer and he made me look so good.  I have been fortunate that i can listen to all the music we listened to.  It brings back good memories.  Walter was my second marriage.  My first was a divorce and it was so much worse emotionally.  My first husband left me with 4 little boys, I remember being in so much pain.  It was a rejection and a loss of identity.   My marriage with Walter was so beautiful.  He treated my sons well and he was such a gentleman.  I miss him still and think of him everyday.  The pain is different, it's not a rejection it's just a loss.  So I enjoy all the memories i.  Don't know if I will dance again, but I enjoy the music.  My health has improved since his passing. So I'm  trying the new normal i hear a lot about.  I will be attending the widows camp in Aug.  Have no idea what that will be like.   Irish lady I'm glad your finally settling down. My son and his wife and son and my granddaughter lived with me for 14 months.  It was a very bad experience, they are finally gone and I'm starting to get my house back to normal.  Thanks for listening, It feels good to just write it down.

Comment by irishlady yesterday

booktime (susan) I lost my Mom 15 years ago and thought I was coping pretty well after all that time. But since losing my husband 4 years ago and going through some nasty family business and moving twice in the last 8 months because of it, I feel like I am almost back to when she first died. I miss her so much as we were best friends, not just mother and daughter. So now I am mourning her loss again along with my

husband. Maybe we never get over losing our mothers. Hugs to you.

Comment by Barzan on Tuesday

Hello Everyone,  I am new to this group.  I was born in mid-1949 so am cheating at bit.  I am a survivor of loss for 6 years now having just passed the June 13 anniversary.  This month has become my least favorite of the year.  I hope in time that I will like June again. 

Reading your posts about reading really hit home.  I wonder if the reason I had trouble reading is because I lost my reading partner.  We loved discussing books.  I will also request the book "Me before You" from my library.  I have all of you to discuss it with.

Comment by Athena53 on Tuesday

I lost my mother the month before my husband died. Both were expected but the last half of 2016 was pretty weird.  Mom was 85 and I knew no one lasts forever on this earth.  Fortunately, my Dad is still alive and I talk to him every week (he doesn't live near me), but every once in awhile I think of something I want to tell my mother and then I remember she's gone. I guess these losses come with the territory when you're in your 60s. 

Comment by Maggie on Tuesday
My Mother died back in 1990 from Ovarian cancer and she was 80. I miss her to this day and think of her everyday. I'd give anything to hear her voice and discuss what all has happened in my life; widowhood, moving and all that has been life changing, not to mention growing old. She was the one person who loved me unconditionally. Thoughts of both of my parents and my husband roll around in my head all the time everyday, often just in the background, but nonetheless every single day. It's ok too.
Comment by booktime (Susan) on Tuesday

My mother died in March at age 96 and very quickly (a few days). I had gone to her home every three weeks to care for her and take care of her finances. I also called her almost every night.

I am really really feeling alone these days: no father, mother, or husband. Yes I have 3 siblings but they have busy lives of their own.

I know this is up to me to do something about. I don't want to wallow in silence. I either find things to do or set about ways of enjoying alone time.

But for now I just really really miss my nightly phone calls with my mom.


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