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Born in the 50s

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Members: 654
Latest Activity: on Tuesday

Discussion Forum

Retire? Or Not?

Started by Pointbass. Last reply by Pointbass Jan 5. 19 Replies


Started by CarolinaHeart. Last reply by Athena53 Nov 29, 2016. 41 Replies


Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Patience (Diane) Oct 18, 2016. 103 Replies


Started by Nardly. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Oct 11, 2016. 14 Replies

Health problems after losing a spouse

Started by NoLongerInBergenJC. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Oct 10, 2016. 22 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by marybarcelos on Tuesday

Guilt is a terrible feeling. There is just justified gilt and non-justified gilt. putting your life in jeopardy driving at night should be a priority. If your daughter doesn't understand that, that is too bad for her. Don't let it get you down. I think she should be actually sympathetic to your plight and offer some suggestions.

Comment by Slick on Tuesday

I understand...just asking if you could spend the night, didn't know you had an elderly dog...and of course with no one their to help...and I guess your son wouldn;t take care of the dog? And your daughter knows all this ...and offers no help, just guilt? shame on her...guilt is a hard emotion to deal with ...but honestly , I see no reason at all for you to feel guilty about are in need , no one else is....will say a prayer that you get the help you need to be at peace.

Comment by irishlady on Tuesday

Yes, slick I could stay the night, but I have a 14 year old dog to think of too. Can not leave her here where I am living due to the bipolar girlfriend. don 't trust the girlfriend. And the concert with travel to and back would mean 4-5 hours. I worry over the dog getting into something and she is not used to a kennel or being locked up. I know a lot of people cant daughter being one of them, but my dog is old, so am I and a lot of company for me. Guess people either get it or not.

Comment by Slick on Tuesday

Thanks SweetMelissa.....PEACE there a way you could spend the night when you go for concerts and drive home in the morning, I have to do that sometimes and I only live 20 minutes away....but am not comfortable driving at night either...grown daughters can be pretty judgemental instead of loving...I have been on the other side of my youngest a few times....and then she is on the other side of me,,,and it all stops for months....I refuse to argue with her...I say what I feel about her treatment of me and it's done....I can easily bring the guilts on myself when it comes to my grandchildren........I wish you the best with this...the last thing any of us need is problems with out grown children....they should be offering a hand of support...not beating on us....JMO.....HUGS

Comment by irishlady on Tuesday

OK..anyone have any advice for this one? I have a grandson who is a senior this year and into music and as such has a lot of concerts coming up. I live an hour way. I attend as many of the concerts as I can. Went to all the Christmas ones for all kids. I do not like driving at night. I have a hard time seeing and the other night almost went off the road as I couldn't see where my turn was due to a large snowbanking. Problem is if I say no to any event, my daughter lays this huge guilt trip on me. I know I can't be MADE to feel guilty, but you have to know her, she is a master. And she gets pissy with me too. I tell her it is the driving at night., ALL the concerts are at night and go several hours. She says that is just an excuse and she KNEW I wouldn't go, that I never do and that my grandson even told her I wouldn't go..which I do not think is true..that he told her that. SO..any suggestions on how to handle this?  I HATE arguments and avoid discourse at all costs!

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on Tuesday

Hi Slick,

I didn't read anything offensive in your reply ...

Bless your heart for being so very caring & compassionate to have even mentioned it when you & everyone else was having a hard time w/the holidays  ...

On a spiritual website, I wrote God bless to all. I received replies informing me s/he was a Taoist, Buddhist, Hindu, blah, blah, blah ...

WTF! Some people would rather be snarky than see the true meaning of good intentions/holiday spirit ...

The only thing nowadays we find annoying as well as ridicule during the holidays are the Christmas movies about finding a new spouse for mommy or daddy to him/her happy again ... Boo!

While decorating cookies, my now adult kids actually thanked me for not compounding their grief w/more changes by dating ...

They said it was one of their greatest fears ...

Anyhoo, what you wrote was all good!

Comment by lonelyinaz on January 2, 2017 at 9:57pm
Heiio irish
We all care hon keep us posted. Every larger county has adult protected services funding state and federal. You may be considered vulnerable and they will move to protect you. I dont mean to speak badly about your son but they will have to talk with him find out the living relationship. Its not as intensive as child protectve but they take this situation seriously. As i said we care you can lean on us.
Comment by irishlady on January 2, 2017 at 4:23am

Thanks to all for the positive thoughts. I pray every day for a solution to this mess I am in. Most hurtful is my son's change in demeanor and morals since bringing this woman into the home.

Wildflower..I am going to call the agency tomorrow. Thank you.  Gary'swife...I appreciate your thoughtful comments. I think right now I need to be alone for a while not living in with anyone. I do have a small dog who has been my companion for 13 years, so there's that too. Not everyone loves animals as I do.

Comment by Strono1 on January 2, 2017 at 3:14am

What a tough situation you are in....cannot imagine the disappointment and frustration.Here is a link to information about Maine Section 8 housing.

Comment by Gary'swife on January 1, 2017 at 7:38pm

Irish Lady- above is a link for New Hampshire aging and disability resource center.

Apparently they are making a push to keep people in their homes, and moving people out of nursing homes.  I know this would not be ideal for you, but perhaps there is some sort of "matching" service which can connect you to someone who needs a person to live in their house.  Of course as we know these might not always work out, but if someone has a house and extra room they could exchange room and board for some light housekeeping, etc.  If an agency is involved in such matching, then I would think they could help out if there is a problem.    Good luck to you.


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