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Born in the 50s

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Members: 795
Latest Activity: 53 minutes ago

Discussion Forum

Misery loves company

Started by Tess. Last reply by riet Mar 1. 13 Replies

How old was he?

Started by sadderbytheday. Last reply by DIVA70 Jan 26. 6 Replies


Started by Lark. Last reply by Maggiepie Jan 24. 14 Replies

Keeping a journal sometimes helps

Started by sadderbytheday. Last reply by sadderbytheday Dec 31. 9 Replies

Little Family?

Started by Hope. Last reply by Freebird Nov 29, 2019. 18 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Sander 53 minutes ago

LP, you are a true angel to be able to do that.....I know I wouldn't be able cousin volunteers at the Hospice where my husband passed.....he was there the night before and it was a comfort to me...after my son was killed I had often thought about volunteering at our local hospital to comfort & rock babies etc. It will be 19yrs. this coming August that he was taken from me.....maybe its time now...

Comment by Ultra2015 55 minutes ago

LP. The hospice staff and volunteers that came to our home to help me with Sandis care were wonderful caring people. Your understanding of what they are facing and going through I am sure is so comforting. 

Comment by riet 1 hour ago

I admire what you do. Really bad. How strong are you to be able to do this. And what a big heart for your fellow men.
What comfort for those who have someone like you as a caregiver.
I can still barely hear the word "hospital or clinic", let alone visit it.
Fortunately, there are also people like you.  Thank you

Comment by Barzan 1 hour ago

LP, You really touched my heart with your post.  You are proof that angels walk among us.

Have a blessed day.


Comment by LP 6 hours ago

Like many of you, I now live on my own (well, not entirely - with dog and cat). Since it's unlikely that I would infect any family, I volunteered with a local palliative care hospice. I had my first session yesterday, and it was overwhelmingly positive. My shift was 8-11, and I am basically there to provide terminally-ill patients and their families with moral support, breakfast, hot drinks, activities if they want, reading to them, and helping nurses to change bedclothes and to make the nurses' job that much easier. 

I was surprised (or maybe not) at how at home I felt there. I felt that the hard-won skills in caring for Chris could at least be put to good use. I knew what the families - especially the spouses were facing. I thought it might be hard - that manager knew my history and was very supportive at allowing me to do only as much as I could bear. But it wasn't hard - even when I brought breakfast to a young man who had kept vigil with his father's body overnight - I thought, what a lucky man to have had his son there with him to the end, and the son seemed to be in a good frame of mind, having done that (I had kept C with me overnight, and I was glad I did). Some of the patients were quite young (no kids, but some people in their 30s and 40s), but the atmosphere was upbeat. The hospice - run by a charity and free to patients - was so beautifully designed: each room had a sliding glass door to a little garden with  a patio and bird feeder. And for me it was just so nice to finally have contact with real live humans and feel that I was useful. It was hugely rewarding and I look forward to regular sessions.

Comment by Tess 6 hours ago

LP, I watched the final episode of The Good Place last evening. I don’t ordinarily watch it, but watched it a while back so I knew the gist of the show. 
That was a very touching episode and I’m so glad I watched it. Especially in times like these it emphasized the importance of relationships, even those that unfortunately end.

Thank you for posting about the show. Hugs to you in these turbulent times. 

Comment by riet 9 hours ago

Dear Ultra and friends,
April has  become a sad month for me. On April 20 it is 2 years ago that my love had to die. I seem to remember every day of the month in 2018. Even if I don't want to. I want to remember beautiful days and not this terrible collapse and suffering. We always looked forward to the month of April. Everything started all over again. Often we just left on a short camping holiday because the sun was shining so beautifully. It was always a happy month. And always: we together. Now ... the other way around. This lockdown does not help. I see him wherever I go.  I want him to complete me. But he is not there anymore.
It's so hard he had to die when spring really started. Now there is a hard band around my heart that almost suffocates me sometimes.
In the last few months I had finally regained a little energy. This is now completely gone.
I miss him so much.

Comment by Ultra2015 20 hours ago

Tomorrow starts Sandi's birthday month.  Her actual birthday is April 28 but she celebrated all month, and it happens that this is the 28th month since I lost her.  She just loved feeling that April was her month and a perfect day on the 28th. 

The past couple of weeks I have been having very intense, intimate dreams about/with Sandi.  Not sexual.  I don't know how to explain it and I can't get it off my mind.  It just feels like she is melting into me and I often wake with a start.  I don't feel upset or more emotional, but, idk, bewildered. I think of her everyday, miss her everyday and this continual segregation is not helping.  I can't even keep up the routine I had worked myself into after months of nothing.  The homeless program where I spend 3-4 days a week is closed and I wonder how the group we serve will get through. 

Random thoughts.  

Thanks for listening. 


Comment by Sander on Monday

Thx KJPE....sometimes I feel like  I can't do this, but then I think about my wonderful daughter and my precious I also have the Widowed Village which is very comforting...Thx to all of you and sending virtual hugs!

Comment by book girl on Monday

Thank you. that does mean a lot.


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