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Since coming to Florida ten years ago wanting to get away from the snow and cold up north my husband and I have had acquaintances but had found it very difficult to make friends. He and I were always close and were friends first before we had a relationship and then marriage. When he passed I truly lost my best friend. Now 17 months later I moved into a smaller house in a gated community and I am lost. Most people here are couples and I have no friends here. I do everything alone. I sometimes just stay in the house because i am so tired of going places alone. I have a daughter here but I can't expect her to go and do everything with me. She has her own life. She also lives an hour away and works during the week so it is hard to see each other other than every other weekend. 

Anyone live in the villages area in Florida that would like to have coffee or get together and meet at Brownwood or Spanish Springs? 

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Replies to This Discussion

OMG  yes it was terrible. I found it so difficult because Dennis and I were best friends. We too only lived here for 3 years when he passed so we had not really made many friends.  The Widowed group for Central Florida saved my life.  I have made so many good friends through that group. We meet often (at least 2x a month) in the Tampa area. You should connect with others through our group or find one in your area.  If you do a Facebook search for Soaring Spirits it will bring up all the areas they have the casual groups. You can also check Meet Ups there are definitely widowed groups there. And ... you can always reach out to me if you need a friend. :)  Carol

  • Blue, you can always start your own group.  Put a post on the SS Tampa page that you are looking to start a group in your area. Believe me, you will find widowed people to gather with you.  Carol

bblue,

I totally get what you are saying and echo the previous posts.  Steve was my best friend and confidante for 36 years.  I'm 10 years out but and still miss him; it's a couples' world everywhere. I am still working just to stay connected and have human interaction. I don't feel lonely; it's more than that. I describe it as "being alone".  Utterly ALONE.

I am planning on moving to the Villages as soon as my house sells.   i was hoping the Villages would be different; That there would be an organized widows group in the 2000 clubs they market.

I've been down a couple times and plan another house scouting to have things staged if my house up north ever sells.

People say to me," Get out with a friend ". Me, I think to myself, " My husband was my main friend".

Susan,

The same here.  My husband and I did everything together, especially after we retired.  I don't know why, but I didn't have an interest in doing things with friends before and I still don't.  I'm okay with just phone calls or emails, but everyone wants to "do lunch".  Going out to eat with friends is not the same as going with my husband was.  And really, after I get home, I feel worse than before I went.

Hi Mary,

    I know what you mean about feeling worse after you get home. Lunch is about an hour or so. So when you get home, it's like, " What do I do now"... or I wish Paul could have been there." ( Paul is my late husband)

   I enjoy getting mail, e-mails, even phone calls sometimes. I don't answer my phone half of the time. Unless of course I know who is calling. 

   Have a nice weekend!

Regards,

Susan

Susan, I really identify with that. Most of our time we spent with each other.

I am finding it very hard to deal with the empty hours and the loneliness. I am 72. Lost my husband four years ago. I get out, stay involved with friends and activities but that doesn't fill the hole in  my heart. I don't know if I will ever feel really happy again. I just go through the motions much of the time. How are you coping?

bblue,

Are you still in The Villages?  I moved here in July 2019.  I would love to meet for coffee. Brownwood would be great'

Constantly! I've tried to get people to do stuff with me, I never have anyone take me up on it. The 3 people I'm closest to, I never hear from them. Seldom do I get a text or a phone call, and that includes family, EVERYONE is too busy for me. I'm not a priority with anyone. "I'll be there for you" is just bullshit. It's like being sent off on an iceberg like an old eskimo or sent to the Island of Misfit Toys. I have a lot of nights where I feel like the walls are closing in on me, Its not helping that the chatroom is down for the forseeable future either. 

A lot of us here are in the same boat. The Soaring Spirits regional groups are one way to connect with the world. Its very hard and a hard road. A lot of time people don't know what to say and I found its up to us to call. Please don't give up....You can respond back to me if you want

I am disappointed because I tried to sign up for my regional group (Long Island NY) about 6 weeks ago & never heard back from them.  While I like widowedvillage it’s just annoying to me to see references to Soaring Spirits groups when I can’t even get in one.

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