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I have found a house I want to buy. My oldest son is going to be a co-lender with me. This is the first time I have ever done any thing like this and I am quite worried and nervous. I really don't know why.

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Tekwriter, I'm sorry I can't recall how long ago your husband passed, but will pass along what I was told by my grief counselor.  For the 1st couple of years of being a widow, don't make any huge changes or purchases because I brains just aren't behaving in a rational way.  Plus, if you are feeling worried and nervous, maybe there is a good reason for that.  Just be sure you have given it a lot of thought.  

Blessings and hugs,


If you think you need to back out, do so ...

Major decisions can be overwhelming in the mists of grief especially buyer's remorseful from not knowing what important factors to look for or have inspected by an outside contractor. Most people are simply attracted to the fascade of a house or size of kitchen w/out looking into the plumbing, electrical, distance between kids, relatives, grocery store or even learning about surrounding neighbors ...

Renting a room or apartment might be a better option till you're ready ...

Good luck ...

Well I should have said, we don't have an option. I cannot afford the house we are living in without my husbands income. I am nervous because I have never done anything like this on my own before. He passed in May and yes this is soon. We have 5 cats and 4 dogs, rental is not an option. That might be part of the nervousness, is the what if? I apreciate the answers and thoughts though.

Buying a house is a major financial investment; it is pressure & stress. To help relieve this, I would think of my son as a safety net whenever I became stressed out if he were the co-signer on my loan ...
Sorting, packing, coordinating the move are also contributing factors. If you have difficulty w/packing, consider looking around for a church youth group. I have never been charged a fee, however, I have fed them pizza & donated money as well as other items for them to sell at their church annual rummage sale to raise funds for projects & trips. Pack breakables & items of sentimental value yourself - they are generally inexperienced teenagers, however, mine have been accompanied by a parent or church official for supervision. I have used a few youth organizations from different denominations to help w/yard work, loading & hauling junk to the dump, garage cleaning, etc. They have done good work & made things so much easier for me ...
Hope this helps ...

BTW, professional Packers can also be hired from a moving company. It's costly, but they can pack up an entire household in 1 day as was the case w/my 3000sqft home w/4 people. They even packed the trashcan full as well as insulated the freezer w/blankets full of food - I forgot to clean it out. It sat in over 100 degree temperatures in AZ for 3 days till it was enroute to NM & delivered 2 days later. Incredibly, none of the food was spoiled enough to stink ...

It is still costly w/just hiring the packers, but they get 'er done!

Tekwriter, If you're getting a mortgage, just make sure you're getting a good interest rate and you're comfortable with the monthly payments.  Do you have someone close to you and that you trust to help you?  I've bought and sold a few houses- it's not for the faint of heart.  

Well, blessedly I have a closing date of October 9th, and am now in due diligence, so it is a matter of packing and seeing too inspections. 

Tekwriter, congratulations on finding a house you like.  All the advice to keep your home doesn't much matter when you just can't afford to keep it.  So glad your son is helping you.  

Hi Tekwriter, Just want to say hi and I hope things are successfully moving forward.  Hope to hear good news from you after October 9.   

Well the first date was incorrect. It is actually the 31st. So far it is going well.

Tekwriter, as I responded in the other stream, all the best to you to you in your new house. I will say one thing in response to something someone posted here. Don't overthink it! You know what's best and financially sometimes these life changes have to be made in a short time frame.


This is so true. The estate lawyer wanted us to wait, but we did not want the house to be sold, so we did what we wanted to do. It had been on the market for a while and had just been reduced. All of us loved it so, we just did it and we got it.


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