I've been avoiding doing my taxes but they are certainly upon me now. This means I go through all of his income and all of our expenditures, reminding me of how happy and uplifting life was with my beloved Greg. It's really hard to stay on task. Odd how going through sterile financial records brings on this blackness in me...
I put doing taxes in the back of my mind. And then I got the call from our tax preparer. I set up a date and started getting the information I needed together. I had no idea it would hit me like it did. My husband was meticulous about keeping records and receipts of all his copays and out of pocket medical expenses. We were both very organized with our record keeping. But as I started to sort through information it certainly dawned on me that this would be the last year I would be filing jointly. Suddenly I couldn't find anything and I just burst into tears. At times I could hardly breathe. Going through our personal expenditures was hard enough but then I had to pull out a copy of the death certificate to include and that led to another crying spell. It took me most of the day to get everything together for the tax preparer. I called my youngest son who was very understanding and I mentioned it to a former colleague the next day. She said she had a friend who had a similar experience when she lost her husband. So I guess this is just one of those triggers that you just have to deal with. I hope your experience is a lot better than mine .
I had to send a copy of the death certificate last year. I was so glad that my best friend is a tax accountant, so she helped me breathe while I was trying to keep my emotions in check long enough to gather up what she needed.
Who would think taxes would hit so hard? I think that's the key to so much of the grief we experience. We're prepared for the anniversary days, but tax return prep day wasn't on my radar, so I collapsed into a heap.
Wishing you peace on this journey.
I'm so sorry. No matter how mundane or routine something has always been, it takes on a new bleakness when our Beloved isn't there. I wish you comfort.
Yes....life now is always like navigating a minefield. You just never know what thing is going to set you off. My late husband handled ALL of the financial stuff. Now that his is gone, I have to step up and handle taxes, finances and everything else. I don't think I am alone in having financial stuff in general act as a stressor. Not only did my honey handle the bills, investments, tax prep, etc., he was also the provider. It is just additional stress to have to live on half the income with ALL the same bills!
I just got back from the CPA. I've gotta cough up 2 grand this week to cover taxes. Hard to keep a stiff upper lip sometimes, and tax time is one of them!