I posted this on Facebook but wanted to get feedback here too.
Has anyone used any dating apps?
Have you had any success using them?
Which ones are the best?
Any feedback you want to share.
Good for you Athena. Dating again is like riding a bike - but with the training wheels on. It does feel awkward. I have to remind myself not to make comparisons because there was no one like my husband. Hope he contacts you. Keep us updated so we might have the courage to try dating again.
I am glad you had a good experience. It gives me some hope. Whatever happens there are nice people out there and you learned it’s something you can do. Next time will be easier.
Athena- You gave me my first actual out-loud - laugh today. Your life has been quite an adventure and your confidence level is healthy and functioning! You are independent financially. You are well-schooled. You have much life experience in the past as an unmarried woman before you found and married your now departed husband. You are on the upswing. Everything is working together for your good. As an outsider reading your posts it's what I discern to be true. If you do not make perfect choices you will dust yourself off and begin again. (Jokingly, remember to check for pot bellies with tattoos which may be hiding flaws you do not want...) Everything's gonna be OK. imo lj
I'm glad your coffee meeting went relatively well. That's so awesome..... now we'll see if it's meant to be.....
Woo-hoo! I got a second date! I sent him a friendly note saying I hadn't heard form him in awhile and was he interested in meeting for coffee again Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. I even offered him an easy "out" saying that if he wasn't, no harm/no foul, but I was encouraged that my first Match.com meeting was with someone I wanted to see again. (I'm a people-pleaser. It's a fault.) I also said I hadn't had a chance to tell him about the Camaros in my life. (He works for GM and mentioned that he owns one.)
He got back almost immediately and said he was interested. So, I suggested Monday.
The adrenaline rush of all this may kill me. ;-)
An update on my experiences with Match.com: Guy #1 lost interest after 2 meetings. Not the end of the world. I was pretty much myself when we met so if he didn't like what he saw, not much I could have done differently. Guy #2: interesting travel stories but his idea of travel is tents and motorcycles and mine is planes and hotels/Airbnb. Not a match. Guy #3 was a sweet man who had lost his wife only 2 months before after a long illness. She'd encouraged him to go on and find happiness and so had his friends. It was good to have a conversation with someone in the same place I was; the other two were divorced and he and I had both lost spouses to long illnesses with some of the grieving behind us by the time they died. Didn't hear from him again; I suspect he decided it was too soon. He and his wife had been married for 47 years and were HS sweethearts.
I just met Guy #4 in person a week ago. He lives an hour from me which is a bit of a drawback and even though we're both retired we have full schedules so it's a challenge to get together, although my schedule is calming down a bit. (I travel a lot.) He's a definite possibility- he's already brought up the subject of a third meeting.
It's occurred to me that just as I'm selective, the kind of guy I'm looking for is also selective so I won't always be what they want. Nothing personal. I do. however, get annoyed at perfectly ordinary 65-year old men looking for a woman age 45-55. Good luck with that, Dude. One candidate for the "husband shelter" Liked my profile- he's 85 (yeah, 20 years older than I am), "separated" and described himself as lonely. There are some sad cases out there.
But- so far, I've met with 4 guys who were consistent with what they said in their profiles and had pleasant meetings. That's a good outcome.
Athena, I had DeSotos in my life. Wonder what match I'd get. LOL (Husband had a collection of 3)
Good luck and let us know how #2 went. Happy for you.
Well, the second meeting went well and, again, no word from him. I gave it almost a week, suggested a couple of days to meet again and.... nothing. Very weird. It's certainly his prerogative to decide he's not interested in pursuing a relationship but "ghosting" isn't the right way to do it, and that tells me he's not someone I want in a relationship, either.
I'm in the process of setting up another meeting for coffee with a guy who's 6 years older- a little out of my age range but he's a real adventurer. He sent me his Web site URL and he leads fly fishing ad wine-tasting expeditions to places like Chile. His profile included a picture of a book he'd written on his travels so naturally I looked him up and he's a former Senior Water Scientist at the EPA.
I decided to Skip a potential match who's "separated" (not divorced!), is a daily smoker and completed high school.
I used Our Time, Match, E Harmony, Plenty of Fish. Met 3 guys on Our Time. Talked to a few guys on Match. One wanted me to get a motel room first date!
I said no and that was it. Plus many scammers on Match. Watch that site.
E Harmony too many questions and no dates.
Plenty of Fish, I went out with 2 guys. When they found out I was a widow. Wanted to borrow money. Nope! I am not that rich!
Our time I met the one I am with now. He is also a widower twice over. Been together 3 years and living together for 2 years.
I found out that the picture does not fit the person you meet. So take it with a grain of salt.
Good luck with your search.