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Are you dating? What's it like at "our" age?  Have you joined a dating site? Do you NOT want to date?

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Slick & Nolonger, I agree with you both. I'm  66 and it's 6 yrs this past Oct 15. I got into a relationship at 1-1/2 yrs, which  lasted 3-1/2 yrs BUT should never have gone that long - lots of red flags that I ignored & wouldn't have if I'd been in right mind. Anyway been on one date since in Jan. which was over in one hour, no connection nothing. I'm also very independent & do many things  on my own or with the few girlfriends I have. I started riding a motorcycle at 62 & having a great time. As far  as dating, I've not met anyone that I'm  interested  in. I can't  imagine meeting anyone that will love me heart & soul like my sweet Randy did. We were like  peanut butter & jelly. I do know that this grief will always be with me until the day I die  - just like the love of Randy will be with me. My wish for all of us here is contentment in our lives. I haven't  posted much however do read a lot & WV has been a great help. Thank you.

Hi Lex......well said....I am approaching the 6 year mark.....and my dating was tried early maybe the 2-3 year mark....I believe the best thing that I could have done was stopped and got used to being alone, with me, and those who I am close to.....because now I can...and don't have that God awful feeling that I was going to die if I was alone another I can be..I like the fact that no one has come my way that I am interested in is OK..If God , in His time brings a companion to my life again...that would be nice, if it's not meant to be that's Ok's not the biggest part of my life anymore....I take one day at a time...have peace in my heart...and go a happy contented way as I see fit...I also believe grief will be with me until my days are over....I am a multiple loss survivor and multiple trauma I am who I am....accept me ...don't hurt people....and still have a lot of love in my heart to give....doesn't mean it has to be given to a is given to my family , a few friends I have been lucky to reconnect with...and those in need...


Well said, Lex and Slick. My sentiments exactly. I'm 4 years out. I have thought seriously about dating, had an online profile and took it down right after a first date with a pleasant man that I felt just wasn't for me. I just have this hesitance in my heart. Maybe I'm afraid that it wouldn't work out, and that would be a second loss. .. They say that finding love is worth the risk, but I'm not so sure.. Those who have found love again say it is worth it, of course! My widowed at age 62 grandmother remarried at age 65 and it was a disaster! I believe the stress pushed her over the edge into full blown Alzheimer's at age 73.She died at 93. Terrifying! Yes, I'm scared.

I joined a dating site about a year and a half after my wife passed away from ALS. It was strange at first. Replied to a few profiles but no replies. I think a lot of them on there are just there for attention, or to maybe boost their ego. Then after talking with a lady that responded, women get a lot of replies and some are weird, some married etc. Anyway dated a few ladies over the course of a couple of months and am now "in a relationship". It was very strange at first. Like I was cheating on my wife. Tainting her memory, stuff like that. I'm 63 and I guess I don't want to be alone anymore. I live by myself out in the country, no children, just my cat Bucky. Now a woman I "think I love" is living with me. She is so sweet, kind, affectionate. I feel very fortunate to have her in my life. I just hope I'm not just replacing my wife with another woman. We were together 25 years. The last three I was her caretaker. So it is nice to have someone do for me some. But when I think will I ever marry again, right now I say no. I have a plot beside my wife, my name is on her headstone and I feel like that's where I should be one day. Is anyone going through anything like this? 

Not going through that because I am not dating, but I do get that "cheating on the spouse" thing. I don't think I could have anyone more than just an occasional friend in my life for just that reason.  In my case, I am the only person in the whole world who even cares that my husband ever existed.  He didn't like his own family and they are all dead too.  He didn't want anything to do with my family.  He didn't have lasting friendships except one, and he lived a long distance away so they mostly just corresponded by e-mail for a long time.  So it is a torch that I feel I must carry.  There is no scenario I can imagine where I could have someone else in my life who is that close. I am leaving a bequest for whomever is my executor to pay for a trip to Jamaica to bury my ashes in the Caribbean sea off of Negril, because that is what I am going to do with my husband's ashes next year at the 5 year mark.  There are no right and wrong answers to this question, it is whatever works for you, and it seems that you have found someone else to share the rest of your days with.  Nothing wrong with that.


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