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My husband passed in November 2016...7 longs months ago.  We lived 2000 miles away from family and always kept in touch via snail mail, fb, and phone calls.  Now with John gone, I have tried to keep the contact with his family but it is only one sided.  After all the "sorry for your loss" was said they all seem to have disappeared.  It makes me sad but I will not continue to force relationships where the obviously do not exist.  Has anyone else experienced this?  He has a sister and sister-in-law still living and many, many nieces and nephews.  My family keeps in closer touch than ever so I have that.  I know it is hard to keep up long distance relationships.  It has always worked in the past but not now...except for my family.  Guess I just have to accept that it is what it is.

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My husband was killed 7/1/14. (Work accident) his family is the same way. At first it was "anything you need". As soon as I stopped paying for those "anythings" they disappeared. His mom was always mean, so no loss there. We were married 23 years. But my family has done the same. All but one son and my older sister. He lives across from me and she calls once a week. Funny how a death changes things....

Hi Prissy - My husband passed away 3yrs+9months ago from leukemia; we were very happily married for 35yrs and I had a great relationship with his family.  As soon as he passed away my son, daughter and I have been treated as outsiders, not invited to any family birthdays or get-togethers.  I didn't see this coming at all.  I know my husband expected his family to be supportive to me and our children but it hasn't been the case at all.  We are only family when it's convenient for them or when they want something from us.  Cold and selfish - I am disappointed and disgusted. I will never treat my children's spouses this way.  My heart goes out to you - hugs. 

 

Prissy, I have had a similar experience.  30 minutes after his death, while we were still in the ICU waiting room, his oldest brother wanted to know what I was planning to do with my house.  The evening of the funeral, I got into it with another brother who wanted to find out about our assets. He said that he was concerned about myself and the kids. Then they started a smear campaign against me because they wanted a part of our matrimonial assets.  We ended up in  court five months after his death and I won my case. At this point no one in my husband's family including the children speak to myself or our children.  In September it will be six years. I still have my house and my children are doing well. I have moved on from them.

Sometimes people are uncomfortable dealing with widows, so back off because they don't know what to do.  Other times, people are just plain jerks.  I guess your place is to figure out which, but by them not responding when you reach out, I'm thinking they're the latter.

One thing my Elaine left me was her mother to take care of.  When she died, I paid for the funeral.  Not even my mother, but I took that on.  Never got a dime from any of the family to help out.  Elaine's son did pay for the clothes her mother was buried in, but I really couldn't expect him to pay for much.  I never did even hear from Elaine's brother, the only living sibling she had.  And the grandkids?  Well, couldn't expect them to pay for anything, because that would be taking away money they need for crystal meth.  You're not alone in this.

My heart goes out to you. They left the hospital and flew from TX (where we lived) back to Florida & Ohio. Not only did they not stick around, they didn't even attend the Memorial and I had to travel and go through a second one a month later. So, again, my heart goes out to you. The only thing we can control is ourselves. Even in our pain, we couldn't hurt anyone the way we have been hurt. Special thoughts and wishes for special memories to help you each day.

Hi, I'm new here. I had a similar experience. My husband took ill two weeks after we were married in 2013 and died three years later. His family showed up for the viewing, but not for the Mass. I couldn't afford a funeral mass, so my church offered a mass intention in his name. None of his family showed up for this. There were no assets. His niece died in 2013 and the family house was sold. Each sibling received a sizable amount. My husband couldn't work and used the money for living expenses and such. His sister had the nerve to ask what he did with his money. Husband didn't have life insurance and my family and his uncle paid for the cremation. I have yet to hear from any of his siblings. No love lost here.

Frank's sister kept in touch for a while, not so much now (almost 3 years later). His brother, I never saw again, was not invited to his 80th birthday party or their 60th wedding anniversary. After Frank and I were together for 35 years. It hurt to not be invited.

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