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I lost my beloved wife a month ago we had just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary and her 60th birthday  , she fought a valiant 5 year fight against cancer , no matter what I do I cannot sleep my mind is racing I’ve just come from the Dr and he prescribed anxiety meds does anyone have a suggestions for a natural sleep aid that helped ? I do exercise daily off course there is nothing for the pain in my heart. 



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Ian, I am so sorry for your loss. It is truly heart breaking. The anti anxiety meds could help with your sleep issue. The only "natural" sleep aid I know about is melatonin. Some people also feel meditation helps before bedtime. Hoping you are able to find some comfort and get some rest.  

Thank you Claire

Butleri62,  I’d like to start by saying I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved wife.  I know your pain and grief are beyond words.

i use Melatonin gummies to helm me sleep.   Another product that works great is CBD oil.  It helps with both sleep and anxiety.  
Please know that we are here for you.  It’s a very difficult path to navigate but we here truly understand.  Take good care of yourself and post as often as you wish.

sending you hugs,


It's not really natural, but I found that Benadryl helps.    If you are working you might try it on the weekend, as sometimes there is a Benadryl "hangover", and I feel sleepy in the afternoon.   It's not for long term use, but the first 3 months after loosing your spouse is just so awful.  Sending hugs, and let us know how you are doing.

I am so sorry for your loss. There are two things that have worked well for me. One I just found at a pharmacy, recently but you can order it online. What I liked about at the pharmacy was I could buy just for for a couple of dollars and try it out. It is called Terry naturally terrific zzzz. It really worked I haven't slept that well and I don't know when. I only took one pill that you can take up to two. The other one is called Sleep Tonight. You can take up to two of those also. Both are completely natural I cannot take melatonin or valerian root and these have neither. The sleep tonight was originally given to me by my doctor to help lower cortisol levels. I hope you can get some rest and pray the Lord will be with you as you go through this difficult time.0

hey ian

this continues to be a problem for me so here are some helps:

turn off blue light on your phone & other electronic devices

no tv computer or other electronic devices for two to three hours before bedtime

warm shower before bed

cut caffeine before noon

make sure you are not taking supplements that cause insomnia like niacin is in some multivitamins

magnesium supplements may help (check with dr)

weighted blanket (on my list to try)

completely dark bedroom

complete quiet or “white noise” see what works for you

sex (suggested by leader of one of my grief groups) yeah solo sex

exercise but at least 5 - 6 hours before bed

no daytime naps

if you cannot sleep get up & try again in a short while

I read paper books again I find it very relaxing my public library has become such a good friend

I hope something in the list helps you & I wish you well during this incredibly difficult time for you



You're only a month out, and the stress you're under is contributing to the disruption of everything--including your sleep patterns. This is (unfortuneately) a normal thing for us who are widowed. (FWIW it took me eight weeks to get a full night's sleep after my wife died.) Keep up with your exercise habits. Going to the gym will get you out of the house, help relieve some of your stress and (hopefully) give you some social interaction. 

So sorry you had to join us here. Feel free to PM me if you want.


Hi Ian, I'm so so sorry for your loss; her death was untimely by today's standards which makes it even more bitter.  In addition to Claire's good suggestions below, I would add writing in your journal when you can't sleep.  I've kept a journal for the whole year since my husband died, and can vouch for the odd peace that one can get once something is written down/written out.  It's a great way of getting the torturous thoughts out of your head and sleep.  Sending hugs, Ian from a fellow grief-stricken widow.


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