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Born in the 50s

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in-laws of deceased husband

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Comment Wall


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Comment by MissingCB on February 16, 2012 at 12:02pm

Thanks freddieb for your support!  Sorry I am so delayed in responding.  My mother has been a major problem plus I wanted to avoid any discussion of Valentine's Day.  Just wanted to pretend it didn't exist.  My mom needs inpatient psychiatric treatment but ended up getting outpatient which they expected me to take her to 5 days a week in another town, 4 45 minute trips.  I tried but she fought me the whole time.  She made it to 4 sessions then on Monday refused to go.  I have two sisters who will not help, one is supportive and one is abusive to me (just like my mother).  She refused to get in the car on Monday so I called the hospital and told them I couldn't do it anymore.  I feel such guilt.  Then, on Valentine's Day, I met w/my own therapist who told me that (in a much nicer way than how I am going to tell it) my mother is incapable of loving me, never has and never will and I need to give up on her and stop putting myself through the torture of her angry outbursts and just make one of my sisters take over.  Kinda still hurts that even my own mother doesn't love me, the person who loved me more than himself is gone, etc.  So had one monstrous pity party which lasted till this morning when I realized I am just further behind.  This website has helped me so much! 

Comment by pattie112108 on February 16, 2012 at 8:12am

I haven't been here either.  But I agree with you, it does bring back memories.  My David wasn't a big flower or card person, but the last couple of years that he was with me he changed, at least with the cards, always got one.  What was nice this year was my 17 year old grandson called and wished me Happy Valentines day, he has never done that before, guess he is growing up.

Comment by mbutler on February 16, 2012 at 7:56am

I haven't been here in a while.....I hated the lead up to Valentine's Day....Can't stand seeing the newspaper ads, the stuff in the stores, etc.  It reminds me of what I don't have anymore. 

Comment by Letha on February 14, 2012 at 3:18pm

Thanks Susan. Happy Valentine's Day to you. It's been a long day.

Comment by Stumbling (Susan) on February 14, 2012 at 9:52am

I posted this on the 2011 page, but I still want to wish all of us a Happy Valentines Day.  We are all our loved ones sweetie!  Hugs to yo all.

Comment by freddieb on February 9, 2012 at 8:02pm

Paula, I don't feel you are losing it at all.  The last funeral I attended was in July of last year and I cried from the time I got there until the end, especially when they showed the video of his life.  There were so many parralels between him and my husband and then I looked at his wife and her pain and it was almost too much for me too.  I came home and cried as if Walter had just died all over again.  I started attending Grief Share again recently and one thing I remember from the class is one lady said that grief is like an uninvited house guest because you didn't ask it to come and you never know when it's going to leave or when it will show up again.  I try to remember that whenever I hit one of those unexpected waves.  Peace to you. (((Hugs)))    

Comment by shirley on February 9, 2012 at 9:40am

Janice, I agree with what you said. It will be 3 years in April for me and I still cry a lot - not everyday, but very, very easily. In fact I cannot talk about my LH without tears. It still hurts too much.

Hugs to us on on this undesired journey.

Comment by MissingCB on February 8, 2012 at 7:56pm

Thanks Janice!  The funeral was today and I had to deal w/some crap from people I had not seen in 13 years.  I am so exhausted from life sometimes but know that God has a bigger plan for me so I keep looking for it and moving forward.

Comment by Janice on February 8, 2012 at 7:30pm

Paula, I think our grief just hits us at different times and  it's often delayed for different reasons.  When I'm so deep into it, it's hard to imagine coming out of it, but I do.  There are also so many things and a lot of the time it's little things that trigger the crying.  It will be 4 years in April and I still cry just about every day; it doesn't take much.

Comment by MissingCB on February 5, 2012 at 2:16pm

Today, I left the rehab where my daughter-in-law's Papa passed away at 3:43 just minutes after I told her Mimi goodbye and said good bye to him.  I wanted to be there for Mimi since I knew what she was going through.  I felt a little awkward b/c this is my son's new bride's family but I have known them for years.  Every death is like reliving my husband's over again.  Especially this one.  Everyone was standing in the room counting his breaths.  Then I came home and cannot stop crying.  Am I loosing it?  Or am I finally going through the grieving process that I didn't allow myself to go through when my husband died b/c I had to keep it together for my kids?


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