Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Born in the 50s

Groups are a place to help locate folks "like you," and maybe say "hi."

Welcome to this group's coordinator, Wannabmartha!

Members: 468
Latest Activity: 9 hours ago

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Comment by MissingCB on February 19, 2012 at 10:39pm

Thanks Annette.  On top of it all, I am dealing w/my own health issues but dare not say anything to my mother or she'll end up in the hospital to divert the attention from me to herself.  I am having more tests on Wed. but my best friend growing up since Kindergarten's mom passed away Friday and I am going out of town for her mom's funeral.  She is truly all alone, her brother died two years ago, her dad died when we were in 3rd grade and her mom has had dementia, some days not knowing who she was, for the past 7 years.  I am putting my life on hold till Wed. to be with her out of town.  It is breaking my heart.  Despite all my heartache, I have children and look forward to the day I have grandchildren and she never had children, neices or nephews, no one except a handful of girlfriends from elementary school.  I guess it it times like these that I count my blessings.

Comment by Annette in MS on February 19, 2012 at 7:01pm

Paula Rene,  I am so sorry you are on this path.  Being alone is hard enough without dealing with this situation with your mom.  Be strong.  Know that there are people out there who love you.  I hope you get the physical and emotional support you deserve.  Hugs to you.

Comment by MissingCB on February 16, 2012 at 10:25pm

Thanks Shirley!  It has just been a terrible week.  I ended up in the ER yesterday w/intestinal issues and of course, my doctor wants to blame it on stress.  I am starting over w/a new Gastroenterologist tomorrow.  I have got to get healthy & back to work and quit putting everyone else ahead of me.  When my husband died, my mother (not his but mine) went into the hospital faking dementia and telling everyone her husband died.  She had been divorced 42 years.  She is a big part of the reason I have never had time to grieve. 

Comment by shirley on February 16, 2012 at 6:21pm

Paula Rene I am sorry for what you are going through. There are several (if not many) here who have or had issues with their moms and it's a very painful process. Your pity party was just part of getting through it. Take care ((hugs)).

Comment by MissingCB on February 16, 2012 at 4:02pm

Thanks freddieb for your support!  Sorry I am so delayed in responding.  My mother has been a major problem plus I wanted to avoid any discussion of Valentine's Day.  Just wanted to pretend it didn't exist.  My mom needs inpatient psychiatric treatment but ended up getting outpatient which they expected me to take her to 5 days a week in another town, 4 45 minute trips.  I tried but she fought me the whole time.  She made it to 4 sessions then on Monday refused to go.  I have two sisters who will not help, one is supportive and one is abusive to me (just like my mother).  She refused to get in the car on Monday so I called the hospital and told them I couldn't do it anymore.  I feel such guilt.  Then, on Valentine's Day, I met w/my own therapist who told me that (in a much nicer way than how I am going to tell it) my mother is incapable of loving me, never has and never will and I need to give up on her and stop putting myself through the torture of her angry outbursts and just make one of my sisters take over.  Kinda still hurts that even my own mother doesn't love me, the person who loved me more than himself is gone, etc.  So had one monstrous pity party which lasted till this morning when I realized I am just further behind.  This website has helped me so much! 

Comment by pattie112108 on February 16, 2012 at 12:12pm

I haven't been here either.  But I agree with you, it does bring back memories.  My David wasn't a big flower or card person, but the last couple of years that he was with me he changed, at least with the cards, always got one.  What was nice this year was my 17 year old grandson called and wished me Happy Valentines day, he has never done that before, guess he is growing up.

Comment by mbutler on February 16, 2012 at 11:56am

I haven't been here in a while.....I hated the lead up to Valentine's Day....Can't stand seeing the newspaper ads, the stuff in the stores, etc.  It reminds me of what I don't have anymore. 

Comment by Letha on February 14, 2012 at 7:18pm

Thanks Susan. Happy Valentine's Day to you. It's been a long day.

Comment by Stumbling (Susan) on February 14, 2012 at 1:52pm

I posted this on the 2011 page, but I still want to wish all of us a Happy Valentines Day.  We are all our loved ones sweetie!  Hugs to yo all.

Comment by freddieb on February 10, 2012 at 12:02am

Paula, I don't feel you are losing it at all.  The last funeral I attended was in July of last year and I cried from the time I got there until the end, especially when they showed the video of his life.  There were so many parralels between him and my husband and then I looked at his wife and her pain and it was almost too much for me too.  I came home and cried as if Walter had just died all over again.  I started attending Grief Share again recently and one thing I remember from the class is one lady said that grief is like an uninvited house guest because you didn't ask it to come and you never know when it's going to leave or when it will show up again.  I try to remember that whenever I hit one of those unexpected waves.  Peace to you. (((Hugs)))    

 

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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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