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Welcome to this group's coordinator, Wannabmartha!
Latest Activity: 3 hours ago
Freddie, You are a sweetheart. I tried to do what my husband would have wanted me to do. He had cut his son off after giving him three vehicles as an adult, a job three different times in his life only to have the son not do the jobs hired to do, try to pay for an education only to find he had dropped out each semester, paid for the birth of his son's first child b/c the son did not have insurance, gave him a paid up life insurance policy that he could borrow against then told him, that was it. That he had two other children to raise and send to college and his son needed to man up and tell his wife to get off her lazy butt and get a job. They were together since she was 17 and my stepson was 15 and the ex wife let them live together under her roof. They aborted the 1st pregnancy (asking my husband to pay for that which he refused but the ex wife paid for).
When my husband was in a coma, my step-son would not even come to the hospital or bring his kids, who we had just met a year before b/c he needed money and that was one of the conditions of helping him out of his debt. He told us he borrowed money from the mob. My husband said "Good, let them deal with him." I paid for his bankruptcy attorney. He said he couldn't b/c his car we gave him broke down and the truck we gave him was a Chevy S10 pickup w/the fold down seats in the back & it was too uncomfortable for his kids to ride in. I loaned him our Van, which we only drove on vacations, the bubble top, tv/vcr, etc. He took his kids to Six Flags and didn't come to the hospital. I had to get one of my husband's employees to go w/me to get my van back b/c he tried to keep it.
He stole my husband's credit cards and ruined my credit and I found out when I was closing on the house I was moving into. The police and the credit card companies did nothing b/c he was a relative. He said his dad gave him permission but the first charge was after his dad's death so I asked for the # he called to talk to his dad to get permission.
The list goes on. You were sweet to give your stepdaughter money in honor of her dad but people like her and my stepson don't care. They just want $$$.
So sorry to hear u had to go through that.
Big (((((HUGS))))) comin your way.
That is so sad my step kids aren't giving me amy troubles like that yet.
I on't know if they will it's just like whwn their dad died guess they think i don't even exit.
But gonna try and NOT let it bother me much.
Just figure that part of my life dieed along with my hubby.
Like I said before never did care that much for them anyways they trated theie dad like sh*t and never came seen him as much as they should have.
They have to live with the guilt I don't.
Anyways stay strong you don't need her.
Dorothy, If your husband didn't have a will, you need to immediately retain the best attorney you can afford. Best of luck to you.
Oh yes, the money factor. I don't know how Walter's daughter thought that a man who had been on disability for the last 13 years of his life was supposed to have a windfall of money just waiting for HER after he died. She asked me about $$ as soon as her airplane landed, practically. Then she informed me that she'd had to ask money from her co-workers so that she and her daughter could come out here because she knows her dad would've wanted them to both to come. So, I gave her some money for that. She didn't mention the fact that she had promised her dad more than once that she would come see him or send her daughter out to visit us when he was alive and needed to see her and she never did. It broke his heart. When I explained to her the situation and that we almost lost our home because of Walter's medical bills and $400 in medications every month, she decided to wait until after the funeral and ask me again - then she told her aunts that she knew her dad had left her some money and I just wouldn't give it to her. I was very proud that they told her that if her dad had left her some money the insurance company would contact her because that meant he would've named her as a beneficiary. They also told her that as his wife I was entitled to whatever he had because no one but me had taken care of him while he was ill . It made me sick, literally. Once my bills were settled so I wouldn't be homeless, I sent her some money as a gift in memory of her dad and that was the last I heard from her because I let her know that I was NOT the bank and this was ONLY because I loved her father. The only thing Walter had asked me to do was to send her daughter, his granddaughter some money each semester when she went to college for the first two years, and I have now completed that obligation to her. I actually feel free now that I have kept my word to him, but I do not want to ever hear from his daughter again because she was so callous and insensitive to the fact that I was burying my husband, her father. All she thought about was money. Thanks for listening. I've wanted to say that for a long time. :)
It always amazes me that at a time when family should pull together, so many are ripped apart. It happened when my MIL died. Michael and his sister didn't speak for the last ten years of his life due to fights from that time. Now that same sister has come forward to inform me of things she wants now that Michael is gone. Hate to tell her, but she isn't getting anything.
I hear ya and what thanks did we ge hugh?
A kick in the teeth.
Just try and stay strong and don't worry bout them.
We never had a will so I am not knowing what to expect out of them.
Oh well I guess i will deal with what ever comes.
Sad to say, even if you had "left it alone", they would have come out of the woodwork when he passed. It most likely has very little to do with you and everything to do with their own poor character. My BIL told me just yesterday that when his wife's best friend's dad died, the four siblings contested the will to the extent that they ended up using the entire million dollar inheritance to pay all the attorneys. It's greed and pettiness. And you may have to resign yourself to the fact that you won't be done with these people until they've squeezed you dry (emotionally as well as financially).
Keep your chin up, lean on trusted friends and family members - and make sure you have a better lawyer than they do.
Freddie & Dorothy,
I guess blood is thicker than water. Unfortunately, even my "blood" is bad. Not only did my stepson sue me because his father disinherited him (left him $1 in his will) but in the 3rd lawsuit, my husband's brother joined him in the lawsuit (he had no rights under the will or trust to anything, he just joined my stepson in his fights). The brother-in-law threatened to report me to Child Protective Services for child abuse if I didn't give my stepson money (and was stupid enough to write and tell me this in a letter) but none of that matters to our Courts. The two just get on the stand and lie away. Then I accidentally called my husband's sister about a year ago thinking it was my friend b/c I had only put the first name in and she starts ranting and raving about how I killed my husband and these "lawsuits" were to prove that.
I would love to never see or hear from my husband's family, his son and his son's children who are now adults and as children were juvenile delinquents so I am terrified of what they are today being raised to hate me b/c I am the cause of all their financial problems.
Even though these people have done all this to me, it hurts because I have always gone out of my way to help others including them. My stepson was already an adult w/a child of his own when my husband and I married and was completely estranged from my husband. He was also estranged from his siblings but I worked for years to try to restore those relationships. I wished I had left it alone.
Thank you sooo very much freddieb.
I'm glad to hear I am not alone.
My 3 adult sons and grandkids was closer to my hubby than his was.
They all clung to their mom.
They blame me but my whole family can tell you I tried to encurage him to see them.
She is deceased also..
I have my 2 sons living here with me now so I'm not alone.
Although some days especially nights I really feel so alone..
I'm sorry about your step-children. You were in their life for a long time, 24 years? I used to wonder too how could people be apart of my life, call me "sis" and be family one minute and then be gone the next. My husband's family has all but disappeared over these past 3 years. His brother and sisters kept in contact with me for a year, but it was like they had decided as a family to keep in touch with me for one year only because I haven't heard from them at all in the past two years, even though I've sent cards and pictures of my grandchildren. So, I gave up and just accepted it and I didn't send them any cards last Christmas because I was starting to feel from their silence that they didn't really care anymore. I don't have any hard feelings now though because I know that Walter was all we really had in common. I also think that being around me made them miss him more and I know they felt guilty because when Walter was sick they were not there for him. They couldn't "handle' seeing him in that condition and so it was me and my children helping me carry the load as best they could. His daughter lives in another State and she never came to see him the entire time, for 3 years. She would just call him to complain about her problems and he'd have to tell her that he couldn't handle it because he was too ill himself. I haven't heard from her since two months after he died. I'm glad I have my children and friends because if I didn't I would be very sad right now.
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