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Born in the 50s

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Members: 683
Latest Activity: Nov 14

Discussion Forum

I'm A Grandma!!!

Started by Susan. Last reply by Susan Nov 7. 9 Replies

in-laws of deceased husband

Started by Prissy. Last reply by vintage56(barb) Oct 12. 7 Replies

DATING?

Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by lauriesv Oct 6. 107 Replies

TRAVELING ALONE?

Started by CarolinaHeart. Last reply by Averysmom Jul 20. 67 Replies

PETS?

Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Seashell Jun 21. 12 Replies

Comment Wall

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Comment by Seashell on March 31, 2017 at 11:34am

So true! I do miss my husband greatly but I have grown accustomed to having the whole bed to myself. On the weekends I can go to bed as late as I want and get up as late as I want. One time I even spent 4 hours at Barnes and Noble and forgot about the time. How I laughed when I thought that I had told my husband many times that he will always be able to find me in a bookstore. My dreams of my husband consist of his being a shadow next to me - close by - reminding me that although his physical body is dead he is still very much alive. How little we know of the spirit world.

Comment by NoLongerInBergenJC on March 31, 2017 at 8:19am

Funny (sort of) story:  Last night I dreamt that my husband came back to life and I sent him to go see a comic book movie while I worked out the details of how to re-integrate him into the world of the living.  First he would have to get used to living in a new house.  I thought he would like the new sectional and the cozy barrel chair I put in the TV room.  But the thought that overrode everything was "I have to get him a new phone."  Of all the things he would need, a phone was first on my list.  That is how dependent we are on technology!!  Then I thought that we would have to buy another car, since with two of us, we would need two. Since I still have a pair of his jeans, some T-shirts and sweaters, a few button-down shirts and a blazer, I thought I'd have to pick up some underwear and socks and the rest could tide him over till we could do real clothes shopping.  

We always talk about how we wish they could come back, but the thing in this dream was that I was happy he was back, but I also felt that his return was going to add new complications to my life, given that I've made friends and have a new social life.  To be truthful, I was kind of ambivalent about it, only because I have become as accustomed to this new life as I was to the one I had when he was here.

Comment by Athena53 on March 28, 2017 at 2:52pm

I know what you mean- the "W" word makes me think I ought to be dressing in black like Queen Victoria and shunning any frivolous social gatherings.  I married for the first time at 31 and was divorced for 6 years before I married DH so I've got some experience being single but this time DS is out of the house and I'm retired- so very little structure except what I impose.  

My upcoming travel is going to be very weird.  I did fine with a 2,500-mile road trip to the Carolinas over 9 days to visit family, but in a couple of weeks I leave for Central America.  One week of it is a cruise so I'll be with other humans, but this will be my first time out of the country without DH either by my side, or waiting to pick me up and hear all my stories when I get home.  Iceland after that in August- we were there together in 2015 and it was one of our best trips.  This time I'm returning with some of his ashes. 

I'm fortunate in that I had a wide network of friends and acquaintances unrelated to my marriage, even though DH was my best friend.  Almost 4 months after his death, I don't lack for things to do and opportunities to get together- but it's not the same.

Comment by TupTin on March 28, 2017 at 12:54pm

Hello, do not know what I am. Single,-haven't been since I was 15yo, Hate the "W". Still figuring out what what I am.

Comment by irishlady on March 19, 2017 at 11:22am

Maybe we should all carry  lists with what we need help with and when someone asks if you need anything call me or let me know, hand them the list and say pick one then cross it off. LOL But wouldn't work as most would say,I'll get to it as soon as possible which is about the same as let's do lunch sometime.

Comment by Susan on March 19, 2017 at 10:37am

IrishLady,

   That would be better... They would speaking in PRESENT TIME... Not the future.

Susan

Comment by irishlady on March 19, 2017 at 9:58am

People should rephrase it to..OK, what can I do for you now? Might that help?

Comment by Susan on March 19, 2017 at 6:57am

To SusanElizabeth,

     I despise the phrase....  " Call Me If You Need Anything " OR " Call Me If You Need Me ".  You know they are just TRYING to be nice when they say it... But we need someone who actually means it.

Susan

Comment by Strono1 on March 19, 2017 at 4:48am

Good morning,

As I read all these comments I am struck once again by how difficult it is when people say or do insensitive things. It was so noticeable in the early days of grief that I decided to write a book to help others grieve and help those who were supporting them. I am honored that my book has had great feedback and I am accomplishing what I set out to do. It has been five years since I lost my dad and husband two weeks apart. I agree that it is manageable some days and others are still difficult. We are continuously re reminded of our loss. By all accounts I am doing well but at the end of the day, it is just me and I miss my husband so much. Please visit my FB page Please Bring Soup. You may like the articles I post. I still periodically see my grief counselor and yes it is important to have the right one. It is also important to let people know how to help us and what we need. Self preservation is important. I had to distance myself from a long term friend who was not able to give me what I needed. Wishing you a peaceful day.

Comment by susanelizabeth on March 18, 2017 at 10:05pm

Another awful night out with people I don't care about, just to be out of the house and around people. Next Sunday is the third anniversary, and I desperately wish there was somebody who was going to remember and call me, or even who would be available for me to call them, or just respond if I emailed them, but everybody's always too busy. And if I hear one more person say, "We're there for you" when they're not, or "You're not alone" when I am, I'm going to start screaming, and I might not stop.

 

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