This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Born in the 50s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Patience (Diane) is the group greeter.

Members: 706
Latest Activity: 2 minutes ago

Discussion Forum

Problems with moving

Started by Racingfan60. Last reply by Melissa Mar 10. 2 Replies


Started by CarolinaHeart. Last reply by Christogigi Feb 18. 76 Replies


Started by Tess. Last reply by Beansy Feb 9. 21 Replies

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Born in the 50s to add comments!

Comment by mcbeth (Mary Beth) on June 16, 2017 at 6:59am

Oh my gosh Boo, YES! Tom loved music, rock & roll, wasn't a fan of country western. He was constantly messing with the radio in the car. We ran the gamut of records, 8-tracks, cassettes, and CDs. I have found that, like you, listening to music makes me cry, no not cry out and out bawl. I have had to start listening to something different. At work I listen to Spotify, Pandora, or Accuradio where I can find a different genres of music. I have found an online radio station from Ireland that I listen to a lot at work. In the car I have found a local PBS station. At home it's either PBS radio or I listen to one of the radio stations on the TV. I have also found that I can listen to an instrumental version of a song and do ok, where as I would burst into tears if they were singing it. I tell my kids that with music now, often times I don't want to hear "mouths move". You might try listening to the instrumental versions and see how that goes. Good luck Boo!

Comment by Slick on June 16, 2017 at 6:58am

Hi Boo....I am so sorry for your loss ....I am at 6 1/2 years and still have trouble listening to a lot of oldies music.....I just turn it was a part of Bill and I....good memories of us sharing and dancing the night away....but I just have no interest in listening to it you are not alone...I understand...(:

Comment by Boo on June 16, 2017 at 6:43am

Thought I would post here...  Many of us grew up in the sixties with rock and roll.  Music was such a big part of our lives. We went to concerts and our turntables/cassettes/CDs/ITunes were always playing our favorites.. Bob Dylan, The Kinks, Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Emmy Lou Harris...... the list goes on and on.  

Now that Dan is gone, I have a really hard time listening to our music.  Every time I end up in tears.  It's been a little over two and a half months since....    I am wondering if anyone else has encountered this and has a solution?   Music used to be such a go-to but now it's tearing me apart.

Comment by Athena53 on April 12, 2017 at 1:43pm

Thanks.  I'm pretty sure I will.  My husband and I took this line within Alaska twice and loved their laid-back, nature-focused approach. 

Comment by Susan on April 12, 2017 at 1:12pm


    Please try and have a wonderful time. :-)


Comment by Athena53 on April 12, 2017 at 5:47am

I don't know if travel by retired people is still defined as "vacation", but I just printed out my boarding passes for tomorrow's flights and I feel like I need one! Still recovering from a cold I got from my delightful granddaughters a week ago, and spent yesterday AM at a Doc in the Box because I was paranoid about it turning into pneumonia on my trip (well, I DID develop pneumonia after a cold once- 20 years ago!). Doc wasn't the least but excited about my case but I now have a supply of antibiotics if I get worse- I'm headed for Central America on a small-ship cruise with no doctor. This morning I found that the drippy nose I had in the middle of the night was actually a nosebleed. Eeuw.

Also still recovering from a labrum (shoulder muscle) tear that happened when I was ice skating a couple of months ago and thought I was Kristi Yamaguchi. It will limt my kayaking a bit.

Then, last night, I completed a 3-mile bike race for our local corporate athletic competition (I compete as a retiree) and got confused about the course and had to slow down to ask the course attendants- I've done this race 3 times already! Better than riding an extra lap or being disqualified for not completing the course, but bad for my time. Doc, BTW, said it was OK to do the race.

If the airlines co-operate, I'll have plenty of natural beauty, sunshine, snorkeling, paddleboarding, bird-watching, kayaking- and a free-flowing wine supply in a couple of days. My husband, bless him, knew that I booked this last October when we knew he had little time left. Bless him, he was happy for me. Some of his ashes will go into the Panama Canal.

Comment by Seashell on April 10, 2017 at 8:37am

Thank you SweetMellisa. Tomorrow is the 4th anniversary since Jerry's passing. I am hopeful that I will be able to totally lay this day aside. It follows only 4 days after the birth of our last grandchild who just turned 4 this year. I can look at my grandson's birthday with happiness now and mark his years as a positive thing. Today I am reminded that this is the last day that he was held by his grandfather. Tomorrow, too, shall pass...

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on April 8, 2017 at 2:03am

Hi Seashell,

That business of losing time was just another little aggravation ...

I came to find I was moving slower than normal. Not matter if I set my clock ahead, showered before bed, set out clothes for the next day - I just wasn't able to keep time. My mind was always pre-occupied w/grief processing in the shadows while operating in slow motion. It eventually goes away. Now I'm 15-20 minutes early everywhere I go, its annoying b/c I have to entertain myself.

Every year that passed was different as well as unexpected. My grief ended a couple of years ago - no more sadness, crying or being in a funk. From the the beginning of 2017 till last month I kept thinking I was missing something or had forgotten something very important. As it turns out, in a few weeks it will be Bob's 10th anniversay. I almost can't believe it's going on a decade. Time seems like it's running faster w/so many things I actually want to do, see & experience.

Comment by Seashell on April 4, 2017 at 11:51am

Thank you all for comments. I still wear Jerry's bathrobe since it is lighter weight than mine. When I used to feel down after he passed away I would wrap myself in it at night. When my house gets cold - yes, I admit it - I do wear it over my clothes!

I have a question for those of you who may have experienced this or know of someone who has. I can be on time or early in getting ready for work in the morning but by the time I get into my car I find that I am 15 minutes behind. It seems as though since Jerry passed away I have lost 15 minutes out of a 24 hour period.

I attended a seminar a few months back where the man conducting it showed us the deep in the belly heart-wrenching sobs of grief. I went away knowing - that yes - I, too, can grieve.Our society places a timeline on grief but it goes far beyond that. At first, to me, grieving felt like the peeling off the layers of an onion. Today, it is the wave as it rolls up along the shoreline. It hits - sometimes softly - sometimes with great force. I had been doing pretty well in my grieving until about a week ago when it hit me suddenly and fast. I am nearing the 4th anniversary of Jerry's passing and did not expect to be hit so hard. It was as though I was back to shortly after Jerry died. I was this way for a week. One week later I heard the words "I want you smiling and happy again" come into my mind. I knew then that Jerry wanted to see me happy and smiling. Once again, I began finding things to smile at and with that happiness - as I know it - returned.

Comment by Heartbroken Spirit on April 3, 2017 at 3:45pm
Thank you, Strono1 for your comforting words. I will check out your Facebook page. It is wonderful that you wrote a book about grief. Rick passed away after a courageous battle with cancer. I know he is at peace but I feel cheated of extra years with him. Retirement would have been so much fun for him. I have my own journey but he will always be in my heart. You are an inspiration. Blessings to you!!

Members (706)


© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service